Don't feel bad about it - I know exactly what you mean - we can't choose how we die or what finishes us off - but dementia would be up there if not number one of the worst ways to go. Also when a loved one (my father) is dying of cancer they and you get all the sympathy the Macmillan nurses etc. With my mother and her vascular and frontal lobe dementia - no one shows any sympathy and your lucky to get any attention from the GP etc. When I read your post I felt so much better about what I have thought and been feeling the last couple of yearsI must be a horrible person. My Mum lives with me and my husband and adult daughter and has done for the past 6yrs. Both my husband and I work full time and my daughter goes to University. I would say Mum had dementia since she moved in with us, but it has steadily got worse until she was diagnosed with Alzheimer's just before Christmas. I've always loved my Mum so much but I realised that she's slipped away from me until all I've got this someone that just looks like her.
Anyway, before I get too upset - after hearing about a friend who's Father has been diagnosed with Terminal Cancer, I realised I was jealous - jealous that they have a time frame, jealous that they will die knowing who they are and their family.
I am so sad that I have become this person