Both my husband and I are caring for his mother. I'm not looking for a diagnosis but some guidance on next steps. We're quite clear that something is wrong but aren't sure how to go from sadness and frustration to a point where we can get help, particularly, as mum is unwilling to take any help, except from us.
Mum lives alone and is becoming increasingly childlike. After some research we believe that she may have FTD - behavioural variant. Her memory is great, she's very active and can drive, shop, and does all activities of daily living. The issues started several years ago when she found herself in significant debt because she become unable to manager her finances. This ultimately led to her selling her house and moving into rented accommodation. We now help with her finances and she's on an even keel. However her behaviour is becoming increasingly obsessive, she is phones the GP / Optician or other health professional at least twice a week, and this can be daily, with a new or old issue. She's had a full medical review and is very healthy for her age, however the 'illnesses' go on. We do take time to reassure her that she's well, and we do take her to appointments when she needs support. Other aspects of her behaviour are also becoming increasingly erratic, she mixes her food into a mush before eating it, her table manners are sometimes challenging. She's often rude to my husband or I, particularly, when we go out of our way to help her . She'll usually tell us that the help we've given her has failed her in some way. Yesterday, I stretched 3 pairs of shoes that she has bought which were too tight. She's left them in the boxes next to the stretchers in her home for 4 months. I offered to help by doing this for her, as she'd asked for my husband's help previously. She was very happy that I'd offered to do this task for her. However, when she put the shoes on she said, they are lovely but one is overstretched. While this is minor, its a common pattern, whatever we do to support and help it is always turned into a negative. Each negative can then escalate into a crisis. she has almost daily crises, often over very minor issues.
The responsibility is very heavy, and we want to do the right thing. We both feel we need support for mum but we're not clear on the best way forward, any advice would be appreciated.
Mum lives alone and is becoming increasingly childlike. After some research we believe that she may have FTD - behavioural variant. Her memory is great, she's very active and can drive, shop, and does all activities of daily living. The issues started several years ago when she found herself in significant debt because she become unable to manager her finances. This ultimately led to her selling her house and moving into rented accommodation. We now help with her finances and she's on an even keel. However her behaviour is becoming increasingly obsessive, she is phones the GP / Optician or other health professional at least twice a week, and this can be daily, with a new or old issue. She's had a full medical review and is very healthy for her age, however the 'illnesses' go on. We do take time to reassure her that she's well, and we do take her to appointments when she needs support. Other aspects of her behaviour are also becoming increasingly erratic, she mixes her food into a mush before eating it, her table manners are sometimes challenging. She's often rude to my husband or I, particularly, when we go out of our way to help her . She'll usually tell us that the help we've given her has failed her in some way. Yesterday, I stretched 3 pairs of shoes that she has bought which were too tight. She's left them in the boxes next to the stretchers in her home for 4 months. I offered to help by doing this for her, as she'd asked for my husband's help previously. She was very happy that I'd offered to do this task for her. However, when she put the shoes on she said, they are lovely but one is overstretched. While this is minor, its a common pattern, whatever we do to support and help it is always turned into a negative. Each negative can then escalate into a crisis. she has almost daily crises, often over very minor issues.
The responsibility is very heavy, and we want to do the right thing. We both feel we need support for mum but we're not clear on the best way forward, any advice would be appreciated.