Dementia Care Home Fees

[Sunflower63]

My Mother has been self funding for two years in a dementia care home in Hampshire. In that time I have experienced a number of issues regards her wellbeing, the latest is she had a fall in her room, cracked the back of her head open & was attended to by Paramedics who glued the wound. On visiting later that afternoon I realise that her glasses had been missing for over a week, and she needs them to see (she walks with a walking aid) the Care home management emailed me the following day to say they had been found) I visited two days later to find Mum wearing someone else’s Specs!!
( I demanded they be found & they were in a drawer in the managers office all the time)
I have reported the incident to Head Office, they say this maybe a safeguarding issue, but are slow to respond.
In the meantime her care has jumped up in price each April & is now 5,836 per month!!
I am contemplating whether to move her to another home, but am aware of the fact that many dementia patients do not like change. This will become inevitable in time as the money will run out. What are your points of view on this please?

 

[Helly68]

I think prices vary a lot as to where you are and the type of home - e.g. dementia specific, nursing etc.
The glasses incident sounds poor. I think you can have your Mum's name etched onto them which may help in future. Sadly things often do go missing but obviously this is also a safety issue. I think if they can't ensure she has her glasses reliably, then may be time to think about alternatives.
Might be worth having a meeting with care home managers and community matron/GP/social worker about the issue of falls and safety.
In terms of the future, once your mothers assets go below a certain level, you can start the process of applying for local authority funding. The criteria and what they fund can vary and you are right in that they may only fund a cheaper home, if available, or part of the fees. It is complicated so best to get info from the council early.

 

[Rosettastone57]

My Mother has been self funding for two years in a dementia care home in Hampshire. In that time I have experienced a number of issues regards her wellbeing, the latest is she had a fall in her room, cracked the back of her head open & was attended to by Paramedics who glued the wound. On visiting later that afternoon I realise that her glasses had been missing for over a week, and she needs them to see (she walks with a walking aid) the Care home management emailed me the following day to say they had been found) I visited two days later to find Mum wearing someone else’s Specs!!
( I demanded they be found & they were in a drawer in the managers office all the time)
I have reported the incident to Head Office, they say this maybe a safeguarding issue, but are slow to respond.
In the meantime her care has jumped up in price each April & is now 5,836 per month!!
I am contemplating whether to move her to another home, but am aware of the fact that many dementia patients do not like change. This will become inevitable in time as the money will run out. What are your points of view on this please?

My mother-in-law was in a care home in Kent and to be frank the fees you are quoting seem to be the going rate in this area. She had missing glasses as well for a few days, but quickly found. Sadly items going missing seems to be endemic

 

[love.dad.but..]

My dad was in a dementia home in Kent and the rates were equivalent to yours before he passed away 2 years ago and had increased each year by 7/8%.

Regarding the specs...dad had this problem. He would leave his specs somewhere and then pick up someone else's to put on and other residents did the same. That is part and parcel of dementia decline unfortunately. At dad's home they engraved dad's name on the specs arms and took a photo to put in his file perhaps rhat could be done so if found they return to your mum. He lacked understanding to know which were his glasses but habit still told his brain that he wore some. That then changed as he declined to at times refusing to wear them (varifocals) and often breaking them by having them in his pocket. I tried to keep him wearing some for as lonv as possible..had a visiting optician to the home to make replacements...but frankly eventually it was clear his brain wasn't able to compute the messages his eyes were sending. At that point we all felt it better that rather than forcing the issue and causing distress and his risk of falls had increased because of his dementia it was better that his eyes had the consistency of seeing the same so his brain didn't try to adjust if that makes sense ie not sometimes wearing glasses and sometimes not. Dad had quite a few falls and unfortunately that also is part of the decline but risk assessment and preventative measures should be put in place to minimise the risk although it can't be totally eliminated 24/7. I would ask for a meeting with the manager to discuss your concerns and consider looking for another home is you feel this is not the right home for your mum based on the replies you get.

 

[Sirena]

Glasses tend to be a nightmare in care homes - I gave up early on expecting my mother to keep hold of hers, fortunately she can get around without them. It isn't necessarily the care home's fault that they go missing/get muddled up, the PWDs put them down on in the lounge then someone else picks them up, or the person wanders off and no one knows who they belong to. Or they 'put them somewhere safe' in their room and the carer has to play hunt the specs. Engraving them would help them to be identified correctly.

In terms of the fall - my mother has had three falls at her care home in the past year, two requiring hospitalisation. I don't at all blame the care home for this, they do their best but she is frail and has balance problems, and refuses to use a walking aid. They cannot be by her side 24/7, although in fact on two occasions there was a carer a few feet away - including an incident when she fell and cut her head and had to go to A&E to have it glued. It's a great care home, she loves it, and they reduce the risks as far as possible while also allowing her the freedom to keep moving around.

My mother's care home room is £3400 per month (Sussex). That's the lower end of prices here, higher end is around what you're paying.

I suppose my main question would be 'Is your mother happy there?' If she is, I wouldn't move her. There is no guarantee any other care home would keep better track of her specs, or stop her falling.

 

[Witzend]

My mother's glasses were always disappearing but I couldn't blame the CH - she'd hide them or pick up someone else's, or someone else would pick up hers - as a pp has said, sadly it's all part and parcel.

I didn't have her glasses engraved, but did eventually mark them with a blob of bright nail varnish on the 'arms' so at least I could recognise them in a box of many in the manager's office.,

 

[Sirena]

My mother's glasses were always disappearing but I couldn't blame the CH - she'd hide them or pick up someone else's, or someone else would pick up hers - as a pp has said, sadly it's all part and parcel.

I didn't have her glasses engraved, but did eventually mark them with a blob of bright nail varnish on the 'arms' so at least I could recognise them in a box of many in the manager's office.,

My mother's glasses (in common with almost everyonelse's!) had very thin wire rims and frames, I couldn't see a way of marking them. The office had a cupboard full of multiple similar pairs and no idea which were whose.

 

[Moggymad]

On the subject of glasses would attaching a lanyard help? That way when not in use they will still be on her. A label could be attached to it. A bit concerning if care home hadn't tried to find her glasses until you insisted?

 

[Jaded'n'faded]

I'm having similar issues over glasses with my mum in her CH. She's had several pairs which she's lost/broken/hidden/no longer likes/swears are not hers or which 'don't work' any more. ('Because I should have ones with the little metal pieces all round the edges that you take off and change to make them move. But I've run out of the metal bits and they won't let me have any more. And I haven't got any money...')

Mum usually stays in her room reading - won't do anything else. But the truth is she really can't process the words on the page any more but is unable to realise that, so blames faulty glasses/stolen glasses, etc. She has just managed to convince one of the nurses that her eyes have gone 'funny' so someone is coming in to see her about it.

TBH, I think that's a waste of time. Certainly no point giving mum an eye test for new glasses - all that stuff about 'is this lens better or was the other one better?' would totally confuse her. Not that I think she needs new ones anyway. Unless they've invented ones that help you remember/understand what you've just read.

So... what to do? Personally, I decided to attack the problem with a bit of lateral thinking
I have purchased a couple of magnifiers from eBay (Only a couple of quid.) They are like flat pieces of transparent plastic - light and unbreakable! I got one A4 and one A5 size and they are brilliant! Just hold one over text and it makes it huge

Mum loves them, though the A5 one will get lost immediately as she is using it as a bookmark (instead of her usual emery boards) so it's hard to find if stuck in a paperback. I shall get a few spares... The important thing here is that the magnifier 'makes sense' to mum. Explaining that her current glasses are fine and that it's the progress of the disease that is the problem would - obviously - be impossible.

 

[Sirena]

What a brilliant idea about the magnifiers for reading. I agree it's likely an issue with processing rather than eyesight. My mother can still read, she doesn't attempt books but I take in magazines mainly to look at the pictures, and she will read out sentences perfectly (despite the lack of specs!) but I don't think she knows what they mean.

My gran also had dementia and in the last year of her life she insisted her hearing aids no longer worked. At the time I thought she'd just gone profoundly deaf, but I now think she could hear but not make sense of what she heard.

 

[Jaded'n'faded]

What a brilliant idea about the magnifiers for reading. I agree it's likely an issue with processing rather than eyesight. My mother can still read, she doesn't attempt books but I take in magazines mainly to look at the pictures, and she will read out sentences perfectly (despite the lack of specs!) but I don't think she knows what they mean.

My gran also had dementia and in the last year of her life she insisted her hearing aids no longer worked. At the time I thought she'd just gone profoundly deaf, but I now think she could hear but not make sense of what she heard.

Yes, my mum does that with magazines. I recall a recent example of the lack of understanding: we were looking through a Sunday supplement together and she went through the whole thing reading out headings and looking at the pictures, always saying 'who is that?' with me having to explain. (And she always comments on how fat/ugly/badly dressed they are, or 'I've got a bikini like that - looks a lot better on me!' ) Near the back were lots of adverts - one was headed 'Wills and LPA' and I panicked - never good to mention money matters to mum. But she read out the heading then said' 'Wills and LPA - don't know who they are either!' Phew.

Mum also has excellent hearing but whatever I say to her now she says 'What?' or 'I didn't hear you.' But it's actually that she struggles to process what's being said to her rather than not hearing it. So I repeat what I've said, maybe say it slightly differently or try to reduce it to 2 words.

 

[Andrew_McP]

Not sure this will be any help to anyone, but I've found nail varnish to be pretty useful, and rather durable, for marking items that are otherwise tricky, like glasses. Of course nothing's foolproof, and something obvious and colourful may get picked at until it's removed, but it's better than nothing.

 

[nitram]

For glasses identification think about >>>coloured heat shrink tubing<<< on arms clear of temples.