1. Vera's den

    Vera's den Registered User

    Feb 3, 2016
    54
    Lancashire
    Can someone tell me about what to expect at a dementia cafe. I am struggling to care for my fil and though have had a lot of help from the posts on TP I think maybe I need to try the local dementia cafe which is only minutes from my home. The problem I have is I am not a social person I feel sick at the thought of meeting people I don't know but i have to try. I just don't know what to expect.
     
  2. Beate

    Beate Registered User

    May 21, 2014
    11,729
    Female
    London
    We have two different meetings a month at the Alzheimer's Society, one is the Thursday Cafe and the other is Singing for the Brain. They are both very relaxed informal gatherings with coffee and biscuits, a few sandwiches and usually a guest speaker or some arts and crafts projects we get stuck into. You get to know people after a while and it's lovely to see them again, chat and catch up on their news. Everyone is really friendly so please don't be worried.
     
  3. fizzie

    fizzie Registered User

    Jul 20, 2011
    2,731
    Oh vera how difficult for you. Our local carers cafe is my lifeline. Everyone is in the same boat, some of us feel like talking some weeks and some weeks we just want a cup of coffee and to be with others. Everyone has the same ups and downs and everyone understands, it is such a good place to be. There is lots of local info on services and you can just sit and listen if you want to. At ours there is no pressure at all. We go in, have a coffee and a cake (if someone has been baking lol) and then we spend time together and people come and go as they wish.

    My advice would be 'go for it' - I felt like you the first time, I was worn out with caring and the last thing I wanted was to 'make new friends' but I have never looked back, warm, welcoming, helpful and no nastiness from anyone at anytime!
     
  4. stanleypj

    stanleypj Registered User

    Dec 8, 2011
    10,664
    North West
    I'm sure many people are a bit anxious about the first tentative move - I certainly was. But it's amazing how quickly you can make real friends and start to look forward to the next session. It's difficult to say exactly what a particular cafe or session may be like but so many people on TP have had positive experiences from them. Please give it a try. You won't regret it.
     
  5. Vera's den

    Vera's den Registered User

    Feb 3, 2016
    54
    Lancashire
    Thank you Beate and Fizzie I have emailed Alzheimer's Society for details and times and I will go on the next date.
     
  6. Vera's den

    Vera's den Registered User

    Feb 3, 2016
    54
    Lancashire
    Thank you.
     
  7. fizzie

    fizzie Registered User

    Jul 20, 2011
    2,731
    Do let us know how you get on xxx
     
  8. Amy in the US

    Amy in the US Registered User

    Feb 28, 2015
    4,619
    USA
    Vera, in case noone has said, welcome to TP and I hope you will find advice and support and help here.

    I am glad you are willing to try your local carer's cafe. I am a by nature a shy person and definitely know that anxious feeling about going new places and meeting new people!

    Here in the States, sadly, we don't have carer's cafes with coffee and cake. We do have support groups that are run by the American version of the Alzheimer's Society. I know I was very nervous about trying these out but they have been very helpful. I've gotten local contacts, good ideas, been able to attend lectures and workshops that are very informative, and so forth. But most importantly, it can be amazingly helpful to be in a room full of people, who really understand what you're experiencing and who are very supportive and kind. And I'm sure if you just want to listen, that there will be no pressure to participate.

    Best wishes to you.
     
  9. Izzy

    Izzy Volunteer Moderator

    Aug 31, 2003
    59,757
    Female
    Dundee
    Just echoing what others have said really. Our drop in cafe meets twice a month. On the second of these meetings there is football memories group get together. Mostly men go I that but at least one lady goes in! The rest of us sit and chat and a number of good networks and friendships have developed. On the other morning the tables are set out in one half of the room for coffee and chat. In the other half people can play indoor curling, a beanbag throwing game or a large connect 4. Sometimes therapists come and short taster sessions for anyone who wants them.

    I think it's worth a try to see what's available. Good luck.
     
  10. Vera's den

    Vera's den Registered User

    Feb 3, 2016
    54
    Lancashire
    Thank you all.
     
  11. creativesarah

    creativesarah Registered User

    I really enjoy going to the Memory Cafe.
    Everyones in the same boat, Justin and I always feel welcomed
    Hope you find it helpful
     
  12. Kjn

    Kjn Registered User

    Jul 27, 2013
    5,835
    Go for it my parents couldn't be without their community now xx
     
  13. Vera's den

    Vera's den Registered User

    Feb 3, 2016
    54
    Lancashire
    Thanks everyone for your responses and not telling me just get on with it. I have spoken to a very nice lady from the Alzheimer's Society who have given me details of the local Dementia cafe so I will be there next meeting. Just missed the February one so a few weeks to wait but I will not worry about it. I bless the day I found Talking Points.
    Vera:):)
     

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