Hi there
I have just found this site and have already gained information and comfort knowing that my husband and I are not alone.
My mother-in-law was diagnosed with early V dementia last summer after she spent four months in hospital. My father-in-law passed away three years ago after a long illness during which time Mum was his carer. She has also cared all her life for my sister-in-law (now in her 50s) who has had a variety of mental problems from her teenage years - she is able to llive independently in a MIND flat and is assisted by a care team.
Mum was forced into hospital for her own protection as, unbeknown to us, my sister-in-law had virtually moved in and was bullying Mum, both mentally and physically.
Mum is home now and we are paying for a full time live-in carer (Mum seems to thinks that she can cope by herself but does not remember to take her medication, make meals etc and needs protection from my sister-in-law).
From a distance it is really difficult to get a clear picture of what is actually happening with the care authorities, social services -
does anyone check that Mum is regularly assessed ? check-ups ?
is it better to keep paying for fulltime live in care as opposed to residential/nursing home care ?
the live in care is arranged through the social services but paid for by Mum until her monies run out, do the social services remain completely involved in her care, medical assessments ?
My husband is tearing himself apart with guilt that we work abroad and does not know which way to go - so much so that at the moment he is almost trying to ignore the situation, he is afraid to speak to his Mum on the phone....
What can we do ? Any advice, thoughts, views, help would be wonderful please
I have just found this site and have already gained information and comfort knowing that my husband and I are not alone.
My mother-in-law was diagnosed with early V dementia last summer after she spent four months in hospital. My father-in-law passed away three years ago after a long illness during which time Mum was his carer. She has also cared all her life for my sister-in-law (now in her 50s) who has had a variety of mental problems from her teenage years - she is able to llive independently in a MIND flat and is assisted by a care team.
Mum was forced into hospital for her own protection as, unbeknown to us, my sister-in-law had virtually moved in and was bullying Mum, both mentally and physically.
Mum is home now and we are paying for a full time live-in carer (Mum seems to thinks that she can cope by herself but does not remember to take her medication, make meals etc and needs protection from my sister-in-law).
From a distance it is really difficult to get a clear picture of what is actually happening with the care authorities, social services -
does anyone check that Mum is regularly assessed ? check-ups ?
is it better to keep paying for fulltime live in care as opposed to residential/nursing home care ?
the live in care is arranged through the social services but paid for by Mum until her monies run out, do the social services remain completely involved in her care, medical assessments ?
My husband is tearing himself apart with guilt that we work abroad and does not know which way to go - so much so that at the moment he is almost trying to ignore the situation, he is afraid to speak to his Mum on the phone....
What can we do ? Any advice, thoughts, views, help would be wonderful please