My mum has diabetes and dementia and lots of other problems although she has been prescribed the dementia drug aricept which has helped slightly She is still at home on her own with carers in daily as she wont allow us to help her.The problem with her at the moment is she is losing control of her bowels and not telling anyone,refusing to have a bath or shower and getting very aggresive when you try to help her. She wont change her clothes very often. I find all of this very difficult as like everyone else on the forum this is not the mum I knew.We try to do our best and when she is at day care I try a go to the house and sort out dirty clothes and get them washed before she notices and tidy the house but I feel as though I am invading her privacy. She still thinks she has a slight memory problem and wont beleive it could be anything else. She is forever losing her purse and money but wont let us help and on more than one occassion she has nearly set cooker on fire.
Dementia and insulin dependant diabetes
- Thread starter baillie
- Start date
Dear baillie, firstly warm welcome to TP.
Your poor mum. It does sound as if the illness is taking its toll on her abilities.
Not wanting to wash and change clothes are all too familiar, as is the losing of purses/wallets etc and fussing over money.
Does mum have a Social worker or Community Psychiatric Nurse?
If so maybe you could approach them, or mums GP. Yes, she is in denial, but you know she needs more help.
Cleanliness aside, and that is something we all have to learn to live with for a time, it is your comment:
Please let us know how you get on.
Your poor mum. It does sound as if the illness is taking its toll on her abilities.
Not wanting to wash and change clothes are all too familiar, as is the losing of purses/wallets etc and fussing over money.
Does mum have a Social worker or Community Psychiatric Nurse?
If so maybe you could approach them, or mums GP. Yes, she is in denial, but you know she needs more help.
Cleanliness aside, and that is something we all have to learn to live with for a time, it is your comment:
that I would be most worried about....her safety.
Please let us know how you get on.
why is it so hard
My mum does have a nurse who visits every six months with her new prescription of aricept but not a designated social worker although I have asked for one.
What I find really difficult is she can be nice to everyone apart from me (her only child) and I seem to get the blame for everything.Like many of the other people in the forum she can appear quite normal to other people a lot of the time. I go to bed every night wondering what I shall be faced with the next day. I try to keep life as normal as possible but it can be very difficult and I find it very difficult to be the parent in the relationship
My mum does have a nurse who visits every six months with her new prescription of aricept but not a designated social worker although I have asked for one.
What I find really difficult is she can be nice to everyone apart from me (her only child) and I seem to get the blame for everything.Like many of the other people in the forum she can appear quite normal to other people a lot of the time. I go to bed every night wondering what I shall be faced with the next day. I try to keep life as normal as possible but it can be very difficult and I find it very difficult to be the parent in the relationship
Can understand that you feel like you have become the 'parent' in your relationship, and that it is you that mum turns against.
Maybe it is not much help for me to tell you that, once again, this can very much be part of the pattern, but it does seem that you are now needing more help with mum.
Can you not, maybe, write this all down and send a copy both to the GP and to this nurse, who should both have the background to mum's illness, as she has been prescribed Aricept.
Often we have found that you have to be prepared to shout about your problems to Social Services as well, before anyone will help.
Should not be that way I know, but we are not here to change the system, just get help when needed.
Maybe it is not much help for me to tell you that, once again, this can very much be part of the pattern, but it does seem that you are now needing more help with mum.
Can you not, maybe, write this all down and send a copy both to the GP and to this nurse, who should both have the background to mum's illness, as she has been prescribed Aricept.
Often we have found that you have to be prepared to shout about your problems to Social Services as well, before anyone will help.
Should not be that way I know, but we are not here to change the system, just get help when needed.
My Dad is also an insulin dependent diabetic. Who gives your Mum her injections??
Beverley x
to reiterate beverleys question.who administers the insulin?who checks the b.m prior to administering insulin?surely given your mums health she doesn't do it herself?love elainex
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Total agree with that . also if your mother forgetting to give herself her insulin if can make her mental health worse that what my doctor told me when mum was not taking her medication for diabetes .
so may be that also why you may be seeing a worse decline even with medication she taking for her dementia
You could also as the doctor to do a referral to the district nurse to make sure that your mother taking her insulin injection , they give your mother high priority in visiting her because she insulin dependent . but the main issue is and only you know would your mother cooperate with them , meaning letting them into the house to help her .
As from mt experience from my mother she would not let them help her , as she was so confused .
I also had all the issue you having with your mother in not wanting to wash herself nor change her clothes , all I can say is don't take it personal , she vent out her anger on you because she must know that if she does it to someone in authority they could section her , she not stupid .
when she got so angry with me it felt to me like a teenager getting angry at me, because they don't understand they emotion so they let it all out on me because I am they mother if you get my point
you now in a stage that you have to except that your mother is still your mother , but its not the same relationship as you had in the past, so your grieve for that past relationship and it take a lot of self help on your part to except that , other wise your future is going to get very frustrated as I know I did .
I never wanted this mother I was now seeing , but over the years I came to release that it was the disease doing this to her , because I remember how she was before .
back then I would think she trying to wind me up doing it on purpose , because all of a sudden her real personality was back , the next min it was gone . I had know my mother all my life since childhood how can a disease change her so much it was really not nice to see .
it was hard mentally for me to take it all in what was happening to her .
I do wish you all the best in getting all the support from CPN , SS , Doctor .
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Thanks for the support
Thank you for all the support as yesterday was the first time I had posted anything
At the moment my mum gives herself her injection with the prompting from her carer at Independent Living Services. I have shown them how to get her to do her blood sugar and then take her insulin (we do have a few problems with it but not to bad) My problems arise when the normal carer is on weekend off and they just send in anyone ( I telephone at all the times the carer is in breakfast/lunch/dinner. They are supposed to be on site 1 hour morning (they stay approx 15mins) lunch (30 mins) and dinner should be 45 mins but they arrive at various times and this doesnt help with the sugar levels
Acheived a miracle this morning got her in the shower before I came to work (I visit everyday and we look after her at weekends)and she even suggested this herself as we have a doctors appointment tomorrow and I have said every day this week "remember mum we must have a shower before we see the doctor in case he examines you" so the prompting must have worked and we even managed a full set of clean clothes.
I always have the guilty feeling of not doing enough but she wont let me do certain things that she lets the carers do.
Like lots of people on the forum I think I feel the loss of my mum already although she is still here. I am glad to have found this site as it lets me release some of the pent up feelings.
Thank you
Thank you for all the support as yesterday was the first time I had posted anything
At the moment my mum gives herself her injection with the prompting from her carer at Independent Living Services. I have shown them how to get her to do her blood sugar and then take her insulin (we do have a few problems with it but not to bad) My problems arise when the normal carer is on weekend off and they just send in anyone ( I telephone at all the times the carer is in breakfast/lunch/dinner. They are supposed to be on site 1 hour morning (they stay approx 15mins) lunch (30 mins) and dinner should be 45 mins but they arrive at various times and this doesnt help with the sugar levels
Acheived a miracle this morning got her in the shower before I came to work (I visit everyday and we look after her at weekends)and she even suggested this herself as we have a doctors appointment tomorrow and I have said every day this week "remember mum we must have a shower before we see the doctor in case he examines you" so the prompting must have worked and we even managed a full set of clean clothes.
I always have the guilty feeling of not doing enough but she wont let me do certain things that she lets the carers do.
Like lots of people on the forum I think I feel the loss of my mum already although she is still here. I am glad to have found this site as it lets me release some of the pent up feelings.
Thank you
Hi Baillie
Sorry to sound such a pessimist... but insulin is highly dangerous.
I know you say the carers prompt her to do it... but, is the insulin taken away, or is it left in her possession.
To be honest, whilst high sugar levels caused through her forgetting to do it may cause longer term problems... if she forgets she has done it, and does it again.. and again.. well, she could kill herself instantly.
I really don't mean to worry you, and sorry if this has, but insulin is a very dangerous drug.
My Dad's short term memory is very poor and I noticed him reach for the insulin once having just done it 5 mins before. At that point, I realised it could no longer be left in his possession.
I tell him I am locking it away from my children, but it is him I am locking it away from.
Sorry again if this all sounds harsh, but I had a very long conversation with my GP only recently about the dangers of dementia patients self adminstering insulin.
If nobody else can do it for her - then the GP can request the district nurse to come in to adminster the dose.
Best wishes.
Beverley x
I don't know anything about diabetes management but I'm with Beverley on this one - I can't imagine how a dementia sufferer could be expected to administer this safely. I would be beating down the GP's door demanding a district nurse (or whatever they're called), and putting it in writing as well, since they need to be put on notice that by not providing a nurse they're potentially risking her life. I would NOT rely on carers do this the correctly or on time. I had some good ones and some bad ones, but even the good ones (or perhaps especially the good ones) will get held up at a previous client.
My understanding is that carers are not allowed to administer insulin although they are able to oversee someone.
I don't think insulin should be left in the possession of anyone with dementia.
When I spoke to my GP I was asking him about dose limiters, and there are none in existence. The only ones in existence are for blind people and they work by limiting the max dose. These are useless for dementia patients as though although the units will be limited to a max dose, there is nothing stopping the person from then repeating the dose. The limiter purely stops the syringe from going over a limit on that single application.
It would need to be a complex device to only allow one application in a dedicated time period.
Beverley x
