I have also moved things around, moved his clothes into different drawers, but I have put more pictures of him up, and also put some of my jewellery and stuff into a box frame, which I think looks nice. Some singletons would kill for our lives.
I’ve just picked it up Peter. I understand, you know I do. I don’t think you could have in any way avoided what happened. all sympathy and thoughts, I know how hard this is for you.I don’t know who’s going to pick this up but I’m going crazy thinking the way I thought when the dementia took my Bridget away back in 2019
Bridget had what I believe was a couple of TIA’s back in 2014 while we were on holiday. She was breathless and fell back on the seat and apart from that seemed ok and recovered and I did nothing. Why o why didn’t I follow it up? Why didn’t I insist on a doctors appointment? She may have avoided getting brain damage and then dementia and we’d be ok now instead of her life ruined.
It’s my fault really that she’s like this, that I simply thought of the inconvenience of the situation and now I’m suffering and she’s another person to me.
So much lost and I’ve gone back all these years to a time when I did nothing and now I’ve ruined her life as well as my own.
Great news @Dutchman . I hope that you can hold onto this.I’m at last convinced that I couldn’t have affected the outcome of Bridget’s dementia one way or the other. It’s taken at least over two years for the realisation to sink in.
I’m saying this because I know many of us are struggling with this same dilemma and it wears us down, beats us up and we go into self judgment mode at the drop of a hat.
An Admiral Nurse said to me that I’d have to be very powerful indeed to stop a TIA and, then to manage perfectly the outcome and caring role, you’d need to be something different to an ordinary person, learning as you went along. But I’m ordinary, not trained or a specialist.
I’ve asked myself countless times why Bridget. Was it because of this or that, weight, life style, smoking, genetics. But thousands of people get terminal diseases who lead healthy lifestyles. It’s not fair. So in many ways
I just think that we are unlucky. It doesn’t lessen how much I miss her, need her, want her back. She stroked my arm yesterday and said “there there” after I mentioned my hernia pain. She still has it in her to comfort. I live on that
Hello Peter. This is an interesting point and as you say, you are not a speech therapist. I understand about questions. I find that statements are better, things likeEver since dementia had a dramatic impact in 2019 Bridget has been unable to speak properly. This is a fairly rare outcome of vascular dementia and it further restricts her from communicating with me.
I’ve read all the advice about how to help when I’m with her but naturally I ask her questions, but this is discouraged as it creates anxiety. But I’m not there as a speech therapist but as a husband with longings. I wish I was able to improve her verbal communication as she tries so hard to tell me stuff. It’s so sad to watch her struggle with this.
I wonder if it’s just too late now to improve her speech. If I have hopes and nothing happens then it’s just another thing that will upset me in a long line of upsets.
Thanks @kindred. As always you are a good support for me as I lurch from one thing to another❤️Hello Peter. This is an interesting point and as you say, you are not a speech therapist. I understand about questions. I find that statements are better, things like
I know you love me
You look happy, I hope you are
Often get a bit better response, such as it is
All thoughts to you, with love, Kindred