Just been to the home to see Bridget. She was asleep but they woke her and brought her to the door to see me. Very vague and disoriented today. She’s surrounded by staff all wanting to do stuff. Open the banana, give her the flowers and I know i wouldn’t have stood a chance on my own caring for her now, especially in these dreadful pandemic times.
But oh the sadness of it all. She looks at me with little comprehension and turns and walks away. I feel so sad for her, not because of her care but because us as a strong vibrant couple is no more and it’s lost to us both.
It’s extremely difficult to describe emotions in words sometimes but I try my best. I feel sorry for myself and for her. And I’m also drifting away very very gradually, day by day, from her and the ordinariness, quite simple life we had. She’s a woman I used to know. And feeling like this makes me feel somewhat awkward and a bit of a deserter.
I’m currently in a car park and miserable. Perhaps a silly film later will cheer me up? Peter
But oh the sadness of it all. She looks at me with little comprehension and turns and walks away. I feel so sad for her, not because of her care but because us as a strong vibrant couple is no more and it’s lost to us both.
It’s extremely difficult to describe emotions in words sometimes but I try my best. I feel sorry for myself and for her. And I’m also drifting away very very gradually, day by day, from her and the ordinariness, quite simple life we had. She’s a woman I used to know. And feeling like this makes me feel somewhat awkward and a bit of a deserter.
I’m currently in a car park and miserable. Perhaps a silly film later will cheer me up? Peter