I too feel this loneliness and despair, OH has been in respite care for past 4 weeks but looks like it may become permanent. He has had a rapid decline and his previous poor mobility has now gone so I would not be able to manage him at home. My purpose has gone, I hardly do anything at home and now live in semi chaos! I too don't see much point to anything so just drag myself through the rituals of every day hoping it will get better. It's funny how we crave for time and freedom but without our partners it doesn't mean much. I go in every day to see him and take him out in a wheelchair if the weather is ok. The care home seems ok, but I wish it was better, but that's another story and it may be teething problems/shortage of carers or just poor management, i will have to bide my time and keep my eyes open. I don't see anyone other than at the care home, I have no desire to mix or 'enjoy' myself. I know deep down this phase will pass and am hanging on to that thought. Hugs to you all out there in this similar position it is so tough.