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Dementia’s journey

Stacey sue

Registered User
Jan 24, 2020
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I agree with all you have said Thethirdmrsc ,and feel the same ! No one knows unless you’ve lived this life change.
 

Dutchman

Registered User
May 26, 2017
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Devon, Totnes
Just got a phone call from the home. Apparently Bridget’s oxygen levels are dropping on occasion and her appetite is not good. She’s stuck in her room till Friday because she tested Covid positive and it’s no wonder her health is suffering. The home mentioned hospital but that’s a no no as far as I’m concerned as she would freak out if sent there.

The doctor is being contacted and I’m unable to move out the house because I’m recovering from surgery. What a awful situation.
 

kindred

Registered User
Apr 8, 2018
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Just got a phone call from the home. Apparently Bridget’s oxygen levels are dropping on occasion and her appetite is not good. She’s stuck in her room till Friday because she tested Covid positive and it’s no wonder her health is suffering. The home mentioned hospital but that’s a no no as far as I’m concerned as she would freak out if sent there.

The doctor is being contacted and I’m unable to move out the house because I’m recovering from surgery. What a awful situation.
Peter, all my heartfelt sympathy. As you say, an awful situation. With love kindred
 

Dutchman

Registered User
May 26, 2017
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Devon, Totnes
The home has asked if needs be should they consider the hospital for Bridget. Im very much in two minds about her going to hospital unless she deteriorated to the point where she must. I can’t go anyway at present and hospitals at the moment are dreadful places with waiting times. (. 5 hours wait in the back of an ambulance). I’ve said no hospital but I hope I’ve done the right thing. She’s being monitored every 4 hours on doctors orders.
 

Violet Jane

Registered User
Aug 23, 2021
777
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I agree that hospitals are awful places for people with dementia even without Covid. However, if Bridget becomes very unwell and a hospital is the only place where she could be effectively treated then you might have to agree to her being transferred there. I think that you should talk to your daughter as you might have difficult decisions to make regarding treatment versus palliative care.

Could a member of staff go with Bridget to the hospital? Alternatively, could your daughter go with her or go to the hospital?

Thinking of you at this very difficult time. It's so unfortunate that Bridget's Covid infection has coincided with your recuperation from an operation and requirement to isolate.
 

Moggymad

Registered User
May 12, 2017
902
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She may only be needing oxygen support if there are no other symptoms. I have heard of paramedics providing this assistance without going to hospital.
 

update2020

Registered User
Jan 2, 2020
163
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When my husband was seriously ill, we followed the care plan which was no hospital intervention. He was in a nursing home however with a registered nurse in charge of his unit. As you know he didn’t recover. This was awful because the burden was on us to decide. However he had very advanced Alzheimer’s, which was very horrible for him. It was good to see him finally at peace but very hard to lose him. I do feel for you and hope that you can all find the best way forward with good consciences and memories.
 

Dutchman

Registered User
May 26, 2017
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Devon, Totnes
I’m told by the home this morning that she’s Covid free and she has an oxygen level which is considered ok by the doctor. She comes out of her room on Friday.

So far so good. However she’s not eating enough and has lost weight which I think is due to under activity. I’m going to see her Friday but I’m dreading seeing her with a much reduced look. Is this heartless and a cold attitude? It’s just with everything else I want my Bridge to look as well as possible. I hope I have the strength to face it and be strong for her
 

Dutchman

Registered User
May 26, 2017
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Devon, Totnes
They’ve sent me pictures of her in her bedroom. She looks so lonely, frail and helpless. I’m very upset. I cry for her and what dementia has done to her. I’m not strong and can’t look at this rationally and crumble at the slightest difference.

I many ways wouldn’t it be easier if she died on her sleep, peacefully and without pain? What sort of life is it to be an empty shell of what was a vibrant woman, just existing? Selfishly I wouldn’t have this torment all the time.
 

Andy54

Registered User
Sep 24, 2020
158
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@Dutchman , hello Peter, hope your recovery is going well. I visited D yesterday for the first time after her Covid isolation period, she was sitting slouched in her chair (as opposed to her usual walking around) and looked very tired and subdued. She didn't want to get out of her chair during the 2 hours that I was there. I'm wondering if that although she didn't show any obvious Covid symptoms maybe the after effects of the infection have perhaps left her feeling fatigued and maybe with some achy joints. A lot of people seem to have lingering after effects from Covid and our loved ones are of course unable to tell us exactly how they are feeling. Hopefully we will both see some improvement in the coming days.
 

Jaded'n'faded

Registered User
Jan 23, 2019
3,082
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High Peak
Post-viral fatigue is common even if it doesn't become 'long covid'.

My daughter used to get it when she was little - she'd get an ordinary cold or cough and get over it quickly, but seemed to remain out of sorts for a few weeks afterwards - somewhat listless, poor appetite, etc.

I imagine older people struggle to fight off infections so after-effects would be unsurprising even when the covid has gone. Hard to know what to do when someone is in a care home with covid restrictions. What they really need is extra TLC, a bit of encouragement and cajoling, cheering up, special finger foods/treats to appeal to their appetite, etc. All of which is pretty hard to achieve right now.

Back in the day, you'd give someone a 'tonic' like Minadex, which always worked a treat for my daughter!
 

Thethirdmrsc

Registered User
Apr 4, 2018
626
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I got to actually touch my husband today after 2 weeks apart due to Covid, albeit with gloves on. Nothing beats a face to face visit, but it’s amazing the downhill nature of the disease in such a short space of time, due to the isolation. When he stops recognising me, then I hope that death takes him.
 

Dutchman

Registered User
May 26, 2017
1,751
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74
Devon, Totnes
I got to actually touch my husband today after 2 weeks apart due to Covid, albeit with gloves on. Nothing beats a face to face visit, but it’s amazing the downhill nature of the disease in such a short space of time, due to the isolation. When he stops recognising me, then I hope that death takes him.
Bridget stopped recognising me before she went into the home. Went to the hospital 4 times looking for “me”. I’ve accepted it and we’re like good friends now. The relationship needs constant renewal regularly that’s why not going for over 2 weeks has thrown a spanner in the works. I’ve got to start all over again.
Hold on to your husband please. Care for him as a once loved. You never know you might have a different but rewarding relationship
 

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