Peter, thank you, much appreciated as is all the help, support and insight you give us, God bless you too.Hello all. I’ll try to reach as many friends as I can @blackmortimer @kindred @Pusskins @Bun @lollyc @Picture @Grannie G @canary @CAL Y and those I’ve missed - sorry.
Whatever you’re going through today, by now I’ve some idea of your emotions and feelings and can only share in the grief and sadness you have.
I’ve realise now that no matter how much we reach out to others ( friends, counsellors, Samaritans, doctors, Forum friends even, family ) we are on our own once we close the house door and sit quietly on the sofa. But things would be a hundred times worse without all this help and I hope I have helped in a small way with whatever I’ve posted.
Yesterday I visited Bridget and sat with her over lunch and helped her feed. I always always get emotional when I tell her I love her and as I rested my head on her arm she lent forward and kissed me on my head. Like saying “there, it’s ok, I’m ok I love you too”. Of course I’m probably reading too much into this little show of affection but I grab at anything I can. My mind fools me into thinking I want more but, of course, it’s impossible and anyway I don’t want her to have lasting feelings and miss me when I’m not there. It’s an awful situation. You want and you don’t want.
It’s Sunday - a dreadful day for me as it has miserable memories of dementia behaviour. I’m off to church later and then a concert in the afternoon. I having an operation soon which means isolation ( covid) and I won’t be able to see Bridget for a week. Going to be tough
Bless you all. Peter