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@blackmortimer I am so sorry for your loss and pray that you can find comfort in the knowledge that Margaret is no longer suffering. Blessings to you and your family.Margaret dies peacefully in her sleep yesterday at 7.20 p.m. If you will , please pray for the repose of her soul and for me and our children for strength in the coming difficult days. Thank you all for your support over the months leading up to this sad time. It has meant a lot to me. Thank you @Dutchman in particular; your words have so often helped.
I shall probably be off air for a while now, but I shall post again when the time is right. Again, thank you and God bless.
Hello @blackmortimer. Now is the time that you really do need to be the kindest person you can be to yourself. I’m so glad that you have your son to help you in all this as he seems to be a wonderful support and a very loving person. I’m sure when the time comes my daughter’s will do the same and I’ll be able to rely on them completely.Thank you, thank you, all of you for your kind and supportive words. After 48 hours I am still shell shocked and apt to burst into floods of tears at the slightest reminder of Margaret. My son has been a tower of strength. He stayed over for two nights and went with me today to the nursing home to collect Margaret's things, a task I would have found impossible without him. Driving away was like closing the door on the final stage of Margaret's journey but I have found some consolation in restoring Margaret's effects to where they belonged in the house. In an odd way it's as though she has come home. Tonight is my first night on my own since her death and I'm just hoping that I shall be able to sleep. My daughter's taking charge of the funeral and my son will deal with officialdom so at least I'm spared that.
I'll post again when I feel able, but for the moment thank you all so much and God bless.
This is the dementia talking and she was saying these things without any understanding of the true situation. You did all that you could - she had no idea about how great her needs had become and the toll it took on youI hear her saying “another thing I can’t do” and “it’s alright for you cos I can’t do that” and “you only think of yourself”. These stick in me and make me ashamed to be me. Why didn’t I think of her more and concentrate on her needs?
I agree with @Old Flopsy , @ Dutchman. If these least weeks have taught me anything, it's that we must live in the present. The past has gone so, as I've quoted before "it's over; let it go". Hold Bridget close and enjoy the time you still have. God bless.@Dutchman I am thinking about you. You do punish yourself for what were perfectly normal attitudes that probably all of us have been guilty of at times.
Just days before he passed my OH said he was sorry for being an awkward husband for many years but I reassured him that it really didn't bother me that much- I was still there after 55 years! It was part of his character and I learned to ignore upsetting comments.