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New member
Oct 25, 2020
The aggressive stage of dementia is new to me and whilst I have left my mum in a room alone where she has become aggressive trying to kick and spit at us, yesterday she started throwing the ornaments at our glass door. I don't know if others have experienced similar situations and whether its worth removing ornaments from room altogether. Not sure if the change will make her worse

Grannie G

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 3, 2006
Welcome to Dementia Talking Point.

I would certainly move ornaments out of the way. It`s not a practice worth encouraging.

If you are concerned it might make your mum worse , perhaps provide something she is able to throw safely, eg bean bags or soft balls.


Registered User
Mar 25, 2016
Welcome to the forum Mary. Aggression can occur in those with dementia but it is not a 'stage' as such, and many with dementia do not get aggressive, my Mum never has. If this behaviour has come on suddenly then it's possible that your Mum may have an infection as something like a urine or chest infection can cause havoc in someone with dementia. You may find this fact sheet helpful as it explains some of the potential causes of aggression and also advice for dealing with it: https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/about-dementia/symptoms-and-diagnosis/symptoms/aggression-and-dementia


Registered User
Feb 25, 2014
South coast
You might also want to contact her GP about the aggression to see if there is medication that could calm her down.


Registered User
Oct 21, 2019
Yes, you need to look at the room with new eyes, you need to look at everything in it and think about it’s potential to harm you.
A well aimed missile can cause immense harm.
Those ornaments should be packed away.

Take a photo of them in a box. When she says ‘where are my ornaments‘, say ‘ they have gone to a company called ‘ Jane‘s ornamentally good’ they clean and renovate ornaments‘ here is the box I took them in, they will be back soon.
It will be sad when Jane breaks her leg, and even sadder when her dog dies and she has to go to Bosnia to buy a new one.

i don’t know how the room is configured but in a perfect world your mother will never stand between you and the door.

If could be ‘just’ dementia , but be thinking why now?
Is she
in pain
left alone.
Just been asked to do an activity she doesn't want to.
Not taken her medication.

one way of dealing with the behaviour is distraction.
One method is phoning the landline with your mobile.
Talk it over with your family. Script possible distractions like in a play.

Think about one of those ‘ rape alarms’ . I have never tried it but would think that terrible noise would stop anyone in their tracks , if ever needed as a last resort.

Cover the glass door in protective film from Ebay or bubble wrap.

you need to start a diary of events. That way you will be able to present a much clearer picture to the health professionals.


Registered User
May 21, 2018
Hello @maryphilippou . I'm sorry to read that your mum is so aggressive. It makes life very tricky. I see that you have already had excellent advice from other members. My mum, who is now in a care home, has times when she can be extremely aggressive and occasionally violent. We have found medication reviews to be beneficial along the way. Sometimes just a regular dose of paracetamol can help and a low dose anti-depressant/anti-anxiety medication such as Mirtazapine can also be very effective. It's always best to rule out physical causes for aggression first so worth checking for those as other members have already suggested.