1. Timebar

    Timebar Registered User

    Jun 13, 2019
    17
    My MIL in about to be discharged from an acute hospital to a local rehabilitation hospital. She had a fall and suffered a neck of femur fracture. We were advised today that she will likely need about 14 days in the rehab hospital before being discharged home.

    I am staggered. She has hideous delirium and in the 10 days she has been there she has not uttered one word of sense.

    However, I was appalled that the nurse speaking to my elderly FIL (88, diabetes/pacemaker/prostate CA/mobilises barely with two sticks/gout etc etc) didn't see a problem in her coming home, provided she was able to use her arms to push herself up from a chair. She told him that they would need some support at home (both refused care/care assessment six weeks ago) and he agreed. Funny he didn't mention the way he shouted at me and OH when we tried to raise such things a few weeks before her fall! But how on earth could they justify a discharge home if the delirium doesn't resolve? Even if a 4 visit per day care package was put in, what about the other 20/22 hours in day when he is supposed to cope with her???

    FIL just wants her home, which is understandable. She wants to go home, but she can't tell you where home is. If the delirium resolves (which I doubt) and she is mobile, how on earth is he going to follow her round to make sure she is safe?

    I so want her to go home, but only if the risks are manageable and he can cope. I can see the effect her delirium is having on him. He was almost in tears today, but would agree to anything to have her home.

    Has anyone any similar experiences/advice to share with me?
     
  2. ANITRAM

    ANITRAM Registered User

    Feb 2, 2019
    28
    I’m sure many members will follow me with good practical advice . I really don’t want to be negative but my 87 year old FIL just wanted my MIL home from hospital late last year following a fall . She had delirium and her dementia was getting worse . It became a real emergency within days of her discharge. What is really needed at this time is a stay in a care home for rehabilitation and respite for your dad so that a FULL assessment of both their care needs is undertaken . Make sure a social worker is allocated before discharge from hospital to support you all and help to coordinate the right level of care .
     
  3. canary

    canary Registered User

    Feb 25, 2014
    10,524
    Female
    South coast
    Oh @Timebar what a difficult position you are in.

    All the while your FIL wants her back, then this is what will happen. It will be his decision and SS always try and keep people at home.
    At least he is accepting carers now. Just be ready to pick up the pieces and insist that she goes back to hospital if necessary
     
  4. Jaded'n'faded

    Jaded'n'faded Registered User

    Jan 23, 2019
    466
    Female
    High Peak
    I agree with @canary and @ANITRAM
    This just isn't going to work, is it? A bit like a sticking plaster on a broken leg.

    I fear that as MIL wants to go home and FIL wants her home too (even though he can't cope) that's what the discharge team/social worker will go for, no matter how unsustainable that is.

    When it goes wrong you'll then have to consider care homes so it might be wise to start looking round...
     
  5. ANITRAM

    ANITRAM Registered User

    Feb 2, 2019
    28
    A sticking plaster on a broken leg - love the analogy but unfortunately that is where SS starts from until the crisis hits !!
     
  6. Timebar

    Timebar Registered User

    Jun 13, 2019
    17
    Hopefully FIL will see sense if the delirium doesn't improve. Then I will tell SS that we won't accept her home. Time will tell. We'll go and see her at the rehab hospital tonight. I can't begin to imagine how angry she will be today at being moved. I dread to think where she thinks she will be...

    On a lighter note, and I have to find some somewhere in all this. The community nurse who came to assess her at the acute hospital yesterday and asked MIL where she was, what sort of building she was in. "A place for entertainment" came the reply after a long pause. "And what is my job here?" continues the nurse. MIL: "Nosy parker!"
     
  7. Trekker

    Trekker Registered User

    Jun 18, 2019
    157
    Female
    London
    We are in same position. My mother delirious, hallucinating and with paranoid delusions in hospital, frail husband at home. Plan to stabilise her hallucinations etc on risperidone and then ‘manage her delirium’ in the community. Am dreading moment when they say she is ready to go home.
     
  8. DesperateofDevon

    DesperateofDevon Registered User

    Jul 7, 2019
    1,072
    My Mum has delusions, hallucinations , acute paranoia & dementia but no proper diagnosis & she’s home on Thursday
    A week after finishing her antibiotics for pneumonia & her fall in hospital- after a stay of 5 weeks. How she will cope with her in incontinence I have no idea

    But no matter what it’s happening & it’s like watching a car crash in slow motion on a loop!

    I’m sorry so many people are going through this nightmare - it is soul consuming for all concerned
     
  9. Trekker

    Trekker Registered User

    Jun 18, 2019
    157
    Female
    London
    So sorry xx
     

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