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Registered User
Nov 4, 2015
Having moved mum down to near me in Devon, I've discovered that we have to wait for almost all services.

Social Services said they would assess within 20 days. Well, it is already Day Fifteen and I haven't heard a thing from them.

We got mum registered with the GP, whom we saw on Tuesday last week. She said she'd refer mum to the bowel and bladder clinic in South Molton, after she'd done a physical examination. The physical examination will be done next week. A couple of days ago I realised that the pad service won't begin until we've been to the clinic, which may be weeks away. Meantime we'll have to use Tena pads, which aren't as good as the NHS ones, and also quite expensive.

Our GP also said she'd make a referral to Occupational Therapy, but ten days later I've not heard a thing from them either. We could really do with their advice on adapting mum's bungalow.

And to top it all, Mum's rubbish isn't being collected. I rang the council, who told me that they won't adopt the road and start rubbish collections until all the bungalows are completed. Four more are still being constructed and progress seems painfully slow, so it might be several months before mum has a bin collection. In the meantime, either I or my brother are going to have to pick up her black bag rubbish and add it to our own.

Each of these delays are minor on their own, but together they add considerably to the stress of the situation.


Registered User
Jul 20, 2011
Hi Moorcroft
I just phoned the bowel and bladder service and told them I was really really desperate and would take any appointment they had even last minute and I just kept repeating firmly how dire the situation was.

Don't wait for SS to phone you, phone them each day and say you haven't got an appointment yet - I know how they work and he who shouts loudest ......

Same with Occupational Therapy, just say mum is unsafe and vulnerable and you need help now 'at risk' is a key phrase which seems to trigger responses.

Be really firm and don't just accept what they say.......even if it is hard for you - I just got more stroppy as time went on!!

Don't wait til monday start the calls tomorrow - you really need their help and lots of people phone on mondays after stressful weekends!!! So get to the top of the next list :)


Registered User
Jun 4, 2010
West Midlands
Don't forget the words "duty of care"
Vulnerable adult is another good one

The one that worked for me at my lowest (and not so low :eek:) was breaking down in tears and saying I can't cope..... I can't do this if I don't get help....

He who "shouts" "sobs" loudest to "they" ...... gets heard. It's demeaning, but needs must.....

"They" have to listen. It's their job.

Not how they could present.... Or how " they" make you feel.... Them doing their job as a favour to you...... That's sooo wrong but what I was continually met with until I put them/made them do their paid for by the tax payer job.....

Hugs xx
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Registered User
Nov 4, 2015

I'm normally quite good at being a squeaky wheel. The trouble is I'm so busy, I haven't had time to keep complaining. I think I'm going to have to prioritise and I'll start with OT because we need their advice quite badly.


Registered User
May 23, 2016
social care is rubbish

The social care system is terrible. But I agree that you have to shout very loudly and call daily and generally make a nuisance of yourself. I enquired about a carers assessment. They sent me a form to fill in, which apparently constitutes as " an assessment". I filled it in and sent in back 4 weeks ago. Still heard nothing.....
You're definitely not alone in your frustrations. Its hard but you just have to keep chipping away at them, and making things sound awful, which they usually are. I agree that the right words often help. Vulnerable, duty of care, unsafe, heading for a crisis are all good. And tears on the phone usually hit a nerve I find. Its so awful that you have to resort to that but its the only way


Registered User
Nov 4, 2015
Just an update.

I'm told that OT can take ten weeks before they do an assessment. I can't ring them to find where I am on the list, because there is no phone number for the general public. Meanwhile, we are adapting mum's bungalow as best we can. OT advice would have been very helpful, but by the time we get it, it will be almost irrelevant because we will have found ways round the problems OT could have helped us with.

Social Care inform me the 20 days are working days, which means that they have until the end of next week to do an assessment. Today, when I got home from a morning with mum, there was a message from a social worker, who left no name or contact number (!!), but said he'd ring again.

And a further delay, mum's new GP practice has not yet received her medical notes from her old practice -- after three weeks. Until they are received I cannot order her prescription renewals online, and have to make written requests into the surgery. Also, mum's medical history as related by her is mostly fiction nowadays, and our GP, who is making a referral to a gyno, could benefit from having mum's notes.


Registered User
May 21, 2014
I feel for you. Having to chase officials is one of my pet hates, and I've done my share of it. 10 weeks for the OT really is too long! It's usually a couple of weeks here. I realise this doesn't help you. Sorry. All I can advise is keep at it and phone everyone daily if you must until they're so desperate to get this annoying person off their back that they'll actually react to your request.
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Registered User
Oct 7, 2014
Contact your local councillor and complain about the unacceptable delays you are experiencing.

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