deflated

Áine

Registered User
Feb 22, 2006
994
sort of north east ish
Just had the most awful day out with dad. He managed going to York in the car and then the wheelchair quite well last weekend. But all he normally goes on about is Hull, his home town, and he adores his sister who still lives there. So we arranged to take him over to see her for lunch and then go for a wheel round Hull city centre together. Such high hopes for it .............

................. um ......... he never looked up all day, eyes down head bent. No sign of recognition of his sister or my cousins or Hull. Normally he completely lights up when we see my aunt. Aunt nearly 90 clearly distressed and trying to not say so. Dad dropping food all over, trying to get out of his wheelchair, needing whole family of cousins to manoevre him anywhere. In the car on the way back he never stopped moving ..... pulling the seat belt out, trying to get his shoes off, socks off, trousers off, door open :eek:

so fed up that plans came to nothing but a day of unsettled misery for him. I know it can be like this sometimes ... but I so wish it hadn't been like this today. It's probably going to be the last trip he makes over to Hull, and it's leaving everyone with sad memories.
 

Amy

Registered User
Jan 4, 2006
3,454
Hiya Áine,
one difficult day out need not be the start of a trend! Come on, chin up. Did you have the child locks on the car door - we could never take mum out without them at one stage?
Love, Helen
 

Kayla

Registered User
May 14, 2006
621
Kent
Do you think that your Dad may have been too hot and perhaps dehydrated? Sometimes children and elderly people are more affected by the heat than we might be. Perhaps next time he will be better.
 

Áine

Registered User
Feb 22, 2006
994
sort of north east ish
are child locks something separate from the car? I know some cars have child locks in the back, but the way my car is, I can only get him in the front. wonder if you can get a "parent proof set" of: door lock, gear lever protector and hand brake cover! :D that was one hairy journey
 

Áine

Registered User
Feb 22, 2006
994
sort of north east ish
i'm sure that was at least part of the problem Kayla. having problems getting him to drink at the moment. he either uses a cup/mug etc but can seem to tip it to get it in his mouth. or he uses a straw, which is perfect for getting the drink into his mouth, but then he doesn't swallow properly and it comes back, or back down his nose :eek: felt like there was no winning with that one today.
 

Amy

Registered User
Jan 4, 2006
3,454
Hiya, No, they are only on back doors I think. In that case, can you lock the front doors? HHelenave to think about how to solve this one?!
 

Áine

Registered User
Feb 22, 2006
994
sort of north east ish
i was thinking along the lines of cellotape over the recess that the door handle is in.
if it was like my previous car with a push button lock on the window sill i think it would be fine. this car, however, locks by just pushing the door handle further into the recess. so it's in a much more grabbable position. great for me when i'm driving through dodgy areas and suddenly decide it might be better to have the door locked .... but not so good when parents are doing their escape acts :D
 

connie

Registered User
Mar 7, 2004
9,519
Frinton-on-Sea
Aine, know what you are up against in front seat of car.

Lionel falls to one side, left usually. Therefore he ends up with his head on my shoulder and his hand on the handbrake. If I try to push him gently back up, he grabs the door handle . Yes, child lock operates very well in the back, and I can easily lock us in, to stop people outside, but have not managed to find a solution yet.

Sorry you had such a bad day.................give yourself some time off before you try again. Thinking of you,
 

mel

Registered User
Apr 30, 2006
1,656
63
Sheffield
Dear Áine
Sorry you had such a bad day
I must admit mum seems a lot more confused in the hot weather....sorry can't be much help to you as I don't seem to have problems with mum in the car as yet....guess that's something to think about in the future!
Chin up and keep going!!!
Love
Wendy
 

alex

Registered User
Apr 10, 2006
1,665
Hi Aine

Sorry your having such a tough time of things with dad, i find that when you are looking forward to something it always turns out a disappointment.

Try again when your feeling stronger and he is a little more settled.

Good luck!
Sending you a hug!
Love from Alex
X
 

Canadian Joanne

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 8, 2005
16,668
66
Toronto, Canada
Hi Aine,
Sorry to hear you're so discouraged. Maybe the thing to do is wait until your dad is having a good day & go then (if you can). Yes, it's impromptu & all but hopefully you and your aunt will have the opportunity to have a good day with him at least once more before long outings have to stop.
Joanne
 

Libby

Registered User
May 20, 2006
625
62
North East
Hi Aine

You come across as a really strong individual - I feel a bit of a wimp compared to you. I used to bring Mum to our house for special occassions, Xmas, birthdays, Mothers day etc, but it was such a struggle to get her back to the home that we have decided not to do it any more. She would refuse to go back in saying it wasn't her home - she'd never been there in her life! I could never decide if I was taking her out for her benefit or for my own. I'd end up feeling stressed, angry at her if I'm honest, then guilty for feeling like that and for not coping.

Sorry that your day didn't go as planned

Libs