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Definately vascular demntia


New member
Jun 23, 2021
Hi again, my second post. I rang the Alzheimer line today as it is very hard knowing what to do for my Mum, she is 77 and was diagnosed properly a few weeks ago.
She has been suffering with her memory for a couple of years and had lots of tests like memory and head scans but all came back as she had nothing, after the last test a nurse came round and told my Dad that 2 years ago when she did have a cat scan it did show up that the dementia was there, but they never told us.
It has been awful these past few weeks as her memory is terrible at the minute and she is having a few hallucinations, but no one has told us how to handle these sort of situations, she says if we did not see them then we have a ghost in the house.
My Dad is 81 this year but a very active man who likes to be in the garden and his shed making things, but my mum now keeps asking him to come inside to watch tv.
She can still take care of herself by washing herself and styling her hair, doing some housework but asking my Dad what he would like for tea is a task in itself, he decides on something then gets something he never even asked for. He gives her tablets everyday as she has a minor heart attack back in February, she sometimes thinks he is giving her tablets she does't need so he has to explain why and who gives her the prescription.
My Dad, sister and I are totally blown away with whats happened, our day to day lives are all up in the air, it is affecting my work life too as all i can think of is my parents.
We just don't know how to handle things anymore, so looking forward to the leaflets that are coming and also glad i came online and found this site.
Thank you in advance for any replies


Volunteer Host
Apr 13, 2018
Hi @Jackie13 and welcome to Dementia Talking Point. It's a very friendly place and you'll get lots of help and advice here. My mother has vascular dementia, and it's a bit different from Alzheimer's, as often a person's memory isn't too bad a first, but logic can be quite badly affected. It certainly was in my mum's case. Also it tends to go in steps, so can take sudden dips, rather than a gradual decline. I wonder if the small heart attack in February caused a dip, hence you now being aware that your mum has dementia.
First of all do you have Lasting Power of Attorney? This will make handling your mum's finances so much easier in the long run. It's probably a good idea to sort it out for your dad too at the same time.
Secondly, it might be an idea to start introducing some help in the home Age UK have a help in the home service, which if they run it in your area might be useful. It's not intended for personal care, but just to give a bit of help with housework, take your mum out shopping etc. It'll get her used to having other people around, and might help your dad a bit too.
Thirdly this thread Compassionate Communication with the Memory Impaired might be helpful to enable you to assure your mum when she gets confused about tablets etc.
I'm sure others will be along soon to say hello and offer their suggestions, but in the mean time have a look round. There's loads of useful information here.

nae sporran

Volunteer Host
Oct 29, 2014
A belated welcome to the site @Jackie13. So much for your dad, your sister and you to deal with and my sympathies for the mix up that left you in the dark for two years. I don't know what leaflets you are expecting in the post, but there are many good Alz Soc factsheets to you should find something of use.
There is a thread here on compassionate communication which looks daunting, but is a good guide to help your dad talk to your mum about the tablets and the hallucinations. https://forum.alzheimers.org.uk/threads/compassionate-communication-with-the-memory-impaired.30801/
I wonder if a care needs assessment and a carers assessment for the local authority social care team might also help if outside care workers may find handing out the medication easier. Sometimes people are more inclined to take it from a professional in a uniform. A befriending / sitting service may also give your dad time to himself. I have such a service provided by a care agency after help from social services and find it very helpful.
Just a couple of ideas I hope will help you all, but there are many members here who know more than I do.

Edit : looks like Sarasa had similar ideas at the same time.

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