decline in speech will it go completely!

tuffydawn

Registered User
Mar 30, 2015
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husband speech seems to have declined over last few weeks he says a lot less and when he does he is struggling to find words much more than he did and can't finish a sentence I try and chat but just get yes or no to everything or no answer. I suddenly feel a panic of will his speech just disappear completely he was such a big character known for his jokes and wonderful stories he would tell will he one day just be completely silent !!
 

Beate

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May 21, 2014
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London
Probably, yes. John went the same way - from a big storyteller to short sentences, to single words to nothing. He was told it was "primary progressive aphasia".
 

love.dad.but..

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Jan 16, 2014
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Kent
My experience with dad and declining speech was similar to Beate's with John although end of life happened suddenly for dad due to other medical problems before the no speech at all period.
 

Izzy

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Aug 31, 2003
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Dundee
My experience with my husband was the same. Gradually he stopped talking. Occasionally he would come out with something loud and clear. Sometimes he would repeat the words I said. Sometimes he would 'talk' but no real words would come out. I found that the hardest. So sad. I knew he was trying to say something and he would get quite agitated. I would try to second guess what he was saying or I would just listen then say '.....and is that alright?'
 

tuffydawn

Registered User
Mar 30, 2015
123
0
My experience with my husband was the same. Gradually he stopped talking. Occasionally he would come out with something loud and clear. Sometimes he would repeat the words I said. Sometimes he would 'talk' but no real words would come out. I found that the hardest. So sad. I knew he was trying to say something and he would get quite agitated. I would try to second guess what he was saying or I would just listen then say '.....and is that alright?'
I try hard to work out what he is trying to say or i change the subject and try and distract him i can feel him becoming more withdrawn i just cuddle him more and tell him how much i love him heartbreaking stuff
 

Izzy

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Aug 31, 2003
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Dundee
I try hard to work out what he is trying to say or i change the subject and try and distract him i can feel him becoming more withdrawn i just cuddle him more and tell him how much i love him heartbreaking stuff

It certainly is. The cuddles are so important though. Thinking of you.
 

Soobee

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Aug 22, 2009
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South
I found when I did get the odd word, phrase or sentence out of my mum, I ended up replaying it in my head over and over again to keep me going. It's not easy when the person was so very vocal before, is it?
 

Kevinl

Registered User
Aug 24, 2013
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Salford
It's more than likely he will but it's not inevitable. My wife is only 65 and she hasn't been able to speak for about 3 years, a couple of other woman in the care in their 90's can still tell you their life story. Some do speak but it's just irrational words and some can speak but what they believe makes no sense at all so it's not just a matter of being able to speak, you also need the capacity to understand what and who you are.
K
 

tony truro

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Apr 23, 2018
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It's more than likely he will but it's not inevitable. My wife is only 65 and she hasn't been able to speak for about 3 years, a couple of other woman in the care in their 90's can still tell you their life story. Some do speak but it's just irrational words and some can speak but what they believe makes no sense at all so it's not just a matter of being able to speak, you also need the capacity to understand what and who you are.
K
Hi mate my wife mid stage and she is 65 . But she can still talk the worst is she's up like a soldier all night . It's a very hard time for me .how do you cope !! Tony
 

Philbo

Registered User
Feb 28, 2017
853
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Kent
My wife is 67 and diagnosed with FTD nearly 4.5 years ago (reckon it started at least a couple of years prior to this).

It affected her speech fairly early on (looking back at the notes from the memory clinic appointments, aphasia was mentioned right at the start).

It's surprising how quickly you learn to adapt and come up with semi-appropriate responses when all they've been able to manage is a lot of gobbledegook. We are lucky in that our group of friends from the pub have risen to the challenge and cope well too.

Just today, we went for lunch at one of their homes and our hosts were babysitting their 13 month old granddaughter. She was sat at one end of the patio table gabbling away, with my wife at the other end doing the same! It was a bit of a bitter/sweet moment and brought home just how much a PWD can regress. Seeing them both laughing was quite special though.

Phil
 

kindred

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Apr 8, 2018
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I found when I did get the odd word, phrase or sentence out of my mum, I ended up replaying it in my head over and over again to keep me going. It's not easy when the person was so very vocal before, is it?
No of course not, what you said is so poignant, thank you, thank you.
 

Grannie G

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Apr 3, 2006
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Kent
My husband had word finding difficulties as the dementia progressed. I also managed to second guess him because we had been together so long I sometimes knew what he wanted to say even before he said it.

Eventually I spoke in very simple sentences eg. `Paul came.` `I went shopping.` and asked closed questions to which he was able to answer yes or no eg. `Are you all right?` ` Do you want a drink? `

He was also someone who was very verbal and it was painful to see him struggling to express himself.
 

kindred

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Apr 8, 2018
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This is different but strange problem. My OH NEVER STOPS TALKING, all nonesense of course. But he can do literally and utterly nothing else for himself, completely helpless. The staff and visitors say how nice it is to hear his voice. When he was at home (he is now in nursing home) he went through years without saying much, however hard I tried. Can you make sense of this??
 

lemonjuice

Registered User
Jun 15, 2016
1,534
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England
Like others, my mother lost her ability to speak 3 years before she died. It had declined over the previous 18 months until suddenly -nothng! She couldn't even respond with a hand-squeeze or only occasionally on a 'good day' with a glance/look.
However as Kevin says
It's more than likely he will but it's not inevitable.
not everyone gets to that stage and many people don't last long enough for the global brain deterioration to get that bad.
 

marionq

Registered User
Apr 24, 2013
6,449
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Scotland
On another thread Ive been posting about the journalist Katherine Whitehorn who has Alzheimer's and whose sons say she often speaks in French though she didn't do that in her predementia days. My husband is very quiet and always was but he can come out with foreign language statements or jokes on a regular basis - usually French or German.

It is so odd how the brain is affected in unexpected ways and yet there is still occasional flashes of lucidity. John will ask "which school are you working in tomorrow?" I'm 74. Or "how is your mother doing?" She would be 106 if still alive. Language and its use or loss is so central to what makes us human.
 

jan.s

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Sep 20, 2011
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72
Speech was one of the first things that deteriorated with Roger. He told me, in the early stages, that he knew the words but couldn't get them to come out! Gradually as he progressed he lost the ability to speak, and even yes and no were interchangeable! I spent a lot of time trying to help him, and got very good at guessing what he was trying to say, accompanied by loads of love and cuddles. :)
 

lemonjuice

Registered User
Jun 15, 2016
1,534
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England
even yes and no were interchangeable!
I remember the frustrations of that phase. It takes real knowledge of a person to be able to 'interpret' what they really meant. Trying to explain to a Dr. that 'yes' didn't necessarily mean 'Yes' they just looked at me as if I was mad! :rolleyes:
 
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Toony Oony

Registered User
Jun 21, 2016
576
0
So pleased to read this thread today.
My Mum had a couple of years not finding the right word, then doing that thing where you explain the word rather than the word itself (eg the little grey animal with the bushy tail) and now she is happy to chat and chat but although it sounds like conversation, the actual words make no sense. When she is upset about something and trying so hard to explain to me what the problem is, I feel so helpless and frustrated for her. The other day I had no idea what 'Father Christmas with a bowl of hot water' meant, nor when she said to me: ''You know ... cowboys and indians'. She cannot name or recognise colours either - I found that out while doing some colouring with her the other day (hers was neater than mine though!) It's incredible how some pathways go and others remain.
At Mum's CH, there are lots of PWD's who symptoms present very obviously, who have behaviour traits etc and need frequent help from Carers - Mum does not need this at the moment. However, even the worst of these PWD's chats with the right words - which Mum can't do. It makes me so sad that many of the other residents have given up on Mum, as they cannot understand her conversation, and breaks my heart when after a long 'conversation' she says to me 'it's nice to have a normal chat with someone who doesn't think I am going barmy'.
As Mum is the only one whose speech is like this at the CH, I am so grateful to read this thread, and see we are not alone.
 

love.dad.but..

Registered User
Jan 16, 2014
4,962
0
Kent
So pleased to read this thread today.
My Mum had a couple of years not finding the right word, then doing that thing where you explain the word rather than the word itself (eg the little grey animal with the bushy tail) and now she is happy to chat and chat but although it sounds like conversation, the actual words make no sense. When she is upset about something and trying so hard to explain to me what the problem is, I feel so helpless and frustrated for her. The other day I had no idea what 'Father Christmas with a bowl of hot water' meant, nor when she said to me: ''You know ... cowboys and indians'. She cannot name or recognise colours either - I found that out while doing some colouring with her the other day (hers was neater than mine though!) It's incredible how some pathways go and others remain.
At Mum's CH, there are lots of PWD's who symptoms present very obviously, who have behaviour traits etc and need frequent help from Carers - Mum does not need this at the moment. However, even the worst of these PWD's chats with the right words - which Mum can't do. It makes me so sad that many of the other residents have given up on Mum, as they cannot understand her conversation, and breaks my heart when after a long 'conversation' she says to me 'it's nice to have a normal chat with someone who doesn't think I am going barmy'.
As Mum is the only one whose speech is like this at the CH, I am so grateful to read this thread, and see we are not alone.
One of the nicest memories I have of incoherent dad in his NH was seeing him and another chap chat smile and gently laugh in 'conversation'. Neither of course could understand each other or have any idea what the other was talking about...hardly any coherent words from either...but to see them both enjoying warm human interaction with each other even if only during a 5 minute window opening in their otherwise isolated dementia world with lessening verbal ability made tears well up in my eyes. Most usually dad either then nodded off or would suddenly get up to carry on with his wandering.
 

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