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Decline in last 6 months

Paul1964

Registered User
Aug 8, 2017
8
Manchester
I care for an elderly man who has no one to care for him and he has been increasingly dependant upon me since his diognosis of Alzheimer’s over 3 years ago, since then there has been in slow decline and although he still lives Alone in his flat, 2years ago he started to have difficulty preparing any sort of meal and now requires someone to do this, but in recent weeks he doesn’t seem to recognise the knife , fork , the tv by its name “tv” 2 weeks ago he started asking me when he should go to bed so I have started setting an alarm clock at the side of his tablets, so he knows it’s tablets and bed, but tonight he asked me what room he sleeps in at night and has he to close all the doors first ? Pointing at his kitchen cupboards ?
It is very upsetting to watch his decline but I am beginning to think I might have to find him a home but feel guilty, I don’t think he should be alone, the only thing is he has always stayed in his flat and hasn’t wandered out which is my big fear as he lives near a main road which he wouldn’t recognise now ! He only goes to day care or to various daily places with me he’s not gone out alone for 9 months as his sight or visual recognition has become poor, yet physically he’s fantastic and almost 87, I don’t know what’s coming tomorrow and he’s on my mind constantly he’s such a lovely old man,
What can I do? what’s coming next ?
 
Last edited:

Paul1964

Registered User
Aug 8, 2017
8
Manchester
Just wanted to say what an amazing person you are for caring for this gentlemen so well.
Just wanted to say what san amazing person you are for caring for this gentlemen so well.
Thanks that’s very kind, I just want the best for him, I take him here there and everywhere and he always says when I leave him I appreciate all you do for me, he’s been so good and has never been difficult but it’s gone midnight and I’m sat here worrying about him, he’s like a child, thank you again it means a lot !
 

Amethyst59

Registered User
Jul 3, 2017
5,749
Kent
Has he any family anywhere? I too, think you should speak to social services. It would be a kind thing to do, as it sounds as if the world is becoming a scary place for him and he needs more support than one person can give. Even if he had to move into a home with more support, you could still visit.
 

Paul1964

Registered User
Aug 8, 2017
8
Manchester
Hello @Paul1964

Perhaps you could speak to your GP for advice or contact Social Services, just to make this elderly person`s name known to them as a vulnerable adult.
I have got an appointment with GP for a week on Tuesday and the memory clinic which which has been brought forward from July I arranged these appointments 2 weeks ago as I started to notice a further decline, going this morning now to see what today brings the medical appointments wont come soon enough !
 

Paul1964

Registered User
Aug 8, 2017
8
Manchester
Has he any family anywhere? I too, think you should speak to social services. It would be a kind thing to do, as it sounds as if the world is becoming a scary place for him and he needs more support than one person can give. Even if he had to move into a home with more support, you could still visit.
Not really, complicated, has children but not had contact in 40 years and they don’t live nearby, I am waiting for an appointment that has been brought forward to this Monday, hopefully I can get answers then, but when I go to these appointments I have to explain what the problems are in front of him which makes us both feel very uncomfortable, he won’t acknowledge how difficult things are getting but he’s not conscious of it, and he looks at me like what are you talking about, going down to see how he is this morning, fingers crossed !
 

Sirena

Registered User
Feb 27, 2018
2,145
Paul it is so kind of you to take such good care of your friend, but it sounds like he needs further help now. If you contact Adult Social Services they will arrange to do an assessment at his home - but as you are seeing the GP soon you could ask them to do this, SS seem to react quicker when requested by a GP. Initially they will probably suggest carer visits to his home.

IME once you start thinking someone should not be left alone you are almost certainly right. My mother was very set on remaining in her home but there came a point where that no longer worked, she had carers for several hours a day but could not cope when she was alone (she had similar issues to your friend, plus she did sometimes wander). She has been in a care home now for nearly 3 months and loves it - she feels safe and has constant company, there is always someone there to guide her when it's time to eat/wash/go to bed. I hope your friend gets the help he needs.

Re feeling uncomfortable talking in front of your friend, you could write a bullet-point note for the GP and hand it to him to read so he is aware of the issues and can guide the conversation from that.
 

Carolyn B

Registered User
Apr 29, 2018
49
North West
I did just as Sirena suggested. I wrote a small summary of the events leading to my mothers decline. I wrote a list of behaviour changes and when they started. The GP was very thankful and said she would scan it on with her notes. I wrote it because like you I didn't want to say things that might be upsetting for my mother.
 

Daffy123

Registered User
Feb 1, 2018
53
I care for an elderly man who has no one to care for him and he has been increasingly dependant upon me since his diognosis of Alzheimer’s over 3 years ago, since then there has been in slow decline and although he still lives Alone in his flat, 2years ago he started to have difficulty preparing any sort of meal and now requires someone to do this, but in recent weeks he doesn’t seem to recognise the knife , fork , the tv by its name “tv” 2 weeks ago he started asking me when he should go to bed so I have started setting an alarm clock at the side of his tablets, so he knows it’s tablets and bed, but tonight he asked me what room he sleeps in at night and has he to close all the doors first ? Pointing at his kitchen cupboards ?
It is very upsetting to watch his decline but I am beginning to think I might have to find him a home but feel guilty, I don’t think he should be alone, the only thing is he has always stayed in his flat and hasn’t wandered out which is my big fear as he lives near a main road which he wouldn’t recognise now ! He only goes to day care or to various daily places with me he’s not gone out alone for 9 months as his sight or visual recognition has become poor, yet physically he’s fantastic and almost 87, I don’t know what’s coming tomorrow and he’s on my mind constantly he’s such a lovely old man,
What can I do? what’s coming next ?
OP you are one of the good kind people on this earth. I wish there were more people like you.
 

captainscarlet

Registered User
Feb 4, 2016
23
coventry
What you have done for this man is fantastic, but in reality this person is at risk within the confides of his home.Not only from himself but a lot of things within the house. One skill i have used in my parents house is constantly risk assessing and reassessing. To deal with this illness everyday as a carer is the most difficult thing you will do in your life. If you have a local alzheimers society office ,it would be worth ringing them also for guidance and assistance.They can be very helpful and under less stress than doctors or social services. Your local surgery may have contacts with admiralty nurses also who specialise in helping these type of patients.
 

Paul1964

Registered User
Aug 8, 2017
8
Manchester
OP you are one of the good kind people on this earth. I wish there were more people like you.
Thanks I appreciate that, he always thanks me he always says “ I do appreciate all you do for me “ you know he means it and it makes it all the more worth while, he seemed brighter this morning so see what they say about at clinic on Monday !
 

Paul1964

Registered User
Aug 8, 2017
8
Manchester
What you have done for this man is fantastic, but in reality this person is at risk within the confides of his home.Not only from himself but a lot of things within the house. One skill i have used in my parents house is constantly risk assessing and reassessing. To deal with this illness everyday as a carer is the most difficult thing you will do in your life. If you have a local alzheimers society office ,it would be worth ringing them also for guidance and assistance.They can be very helpful and under less stress than doctors or social services. Your local surgery may have contacts with admiralty nurses also who specialise in helping these type of patients.
Thanks I will look into that, he’s relatively safe ( no gas in flat or stairs cooker switched off at mains)it’s just he’s wandering from room to room and more and more sleeping !
 

Norfolk Cherry

Registered User
Feb 17, 2018
287
As others have said on here, phone social services and use the words "vulnerable person at risk" It's the trigger for a full on care needs assessment. I hope you are Ok.
 

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