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Decision time

Bettysue

Registered User
Mar 21, 2020
112
0
I’ve just been rereading some if my posts from the last few months and realise I’ve been teetering on the edge for a while. I have finally made the decision to organise full time care for my partner. I always hoped that it could be planned rather than the result of a crisis and hopefully that’s how it will happen. I have decided on a care home in our town and have the support of his family in this. I feel that it is suitable for him and also that its proximity will allow me to do short visits regularly, rather than travelling 45 minutes. I can even walk along with the dog!
He is becoming frailer physically and has had a couple of falls. I fear that he will fall downstairs.I find that he is beginning to need help with eating and drinking. All that coupled with all the other factors…double incontinence,inability to understand or communicate verbally, disturbed nights…have finally led me to my decision. I hope that once the initial stress of the move is over we can move towards a better relationship. At the moment my role is that of bad tempered, frustrated carer and I don’t think that is good for either of us.
 

Starting on a journey

Registered User
Jul 9, 2019
795
0
@Bettysue , this seems a well thought out decision. He will be looked after and you will enjoy the visits rather than the heavy care work. Sounds like you will both benefit from a team looking after him. I wish you both well with the move.
 

Thethirdmrsc

Registered User
Apr 4, 2018
559
0
Absolutely the right thing @Bettysue for you, and you are right about the role. I certainly don’t have the anger at him anymore, there is guilt and sadness to replace it, but I’ve been looking back on my diaries from 2 years ago, and it made for sad reading. When it’s the right time, you just know.
 

Sarasa

Volunteer Host
Apr 13, 2018
4,149
0
@Bettysue , it sounds like the right time for your husband to move into care. You can go back to being his wife in the knowledge he is being well looked after.
Do you have a date for the move yet?
 

Bettysue

Registered User
Mar 21, 2020
112
0
No date yet but social worker is completing the long term assessment and he is first on the waiting list.
 

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