HI Lawson58
He was was assessed at 21 in his MMSE a month ago. He has been assessed by ACAT, and is level 3, if he ever gets the support. We've been waiting 12 months, and I was told last week that we've another 12 months to wait! However he is under CHSP. But I digress..
That is what I worry about; power of attorney. When do you know? I make most decisions now, but I don't want him to loae his independence if that makes sense.
On our Powers of Attorney, there was a section where the donor stated when that power would become effective eg. if they became bedridden, or were unable to communicate, perhaps suffered a brain injury of some kind, whatever was written in the document will indicate when it comes into use.
We have a different system to that in UK. I am next of kin so no one as yet has even asked to see it. With eHealth, his records are available anyway. When he had his last massive nosebleed, the triage nurse saw him covered in blood and didn't ask him to sign but handed it over for me to do without question.
A friend had her mum in care so she used to carry the POA with her and would produce it if and when necessary. There may be different laws depending where you live but instructions are usually included in the actual document. If you and your husband have Advanced Care Directives then it usually takes precedence over a Power of Attorney.
We have a joint bank account so no problems there and he can't work out how to use online banking anyway. He gets very cranky with me about it and accuses me of hiding things from him, stealing his money but it's water off a duck's back now.
I am aware that ACAT is very slow which is partly why I haven't bothered. My husband turns 80 this year and his physical health is failing more rapidly than the Alzheimer's. As he himself says, he is "way past his use by date".
A sense of independence is great if you can help him maintain it for a while. My husband likes to think he is helping by washing the dishes but I have to check them and he sometimes walks off in the middle of doing it, or leaves the water in the sink to go cold. He feeds the dog and sometimes volunteers to hang out some washing, usually quite oddly but who cares!
My husband still plays bridge and someone from the club picks him up so that's one less thing he relies on me for. He is going away for a weekend soon for a bridge congress and is travelling with a friend who himself has a few odd behaviours. He will come home exhausted but I refuse to worry about him while he is away. If something happens to him while he is away, then someone else is going to have to deal with it. It will be nice to have a couple of days to myself but will probably use the time to clean out cupboards.
I get a bit of help through our local council in the way of cleaning but it is only subsidized but not expensive. They can also give personal care, help with shopping etc.
I hope this has been of some help.