1. kingybell

    kingybell Registered User

    Feb 3, 2015
    115
    My mum in law has early onset on mixed dementia.
    She is frequently losing letters and the bailiffs came round 2 weeks ago.
    Subsequently i have found over £122,000 worth of debt in a addition to her mortgage.
    She will never be able to pay them. How do I keep the wolf from the door as
    She's only getting £69 per week in benefit.
     
  2. Izzy

    Izzy Volunteer Moderator

    Aug 31, 2003
    58,713
    Female
    Dundee
    I'm sure others with more experience will come along with some suggestions but in the meantime I'll tell you my thoughts.

    In the first place I wondered if it would be a good idea to contact the CAB and ask them if they can advise on the best way forward. I also wondered about writing to each of the companies to which she owes money and explaining the situation. If you have financial power of attorney I would include a copy of that and if possible a letter from her doctor or memory clinic to confirm that she no longer has capacity to be responsible for her financial affairs. You might find that some of them will write off the debt. One credit card company did that for me when I wrote to them about a credit card my husband had. The debt wasn't as high as you describe but it was still good to have it written off.
     
  3. kingybell

    kingybell Registered User

    Feb 3, 2015
    115
    Thanks I will try this. To be honest she's never been good with money and these debts have accumulated over several years (before she was ill). She was paying them every month but now forgets that she has these so in arrears.
    We don't have LPA at the moment as I was waiting to see the extent of her debts. There may be more that we haven't discovered yet.

    I have 2 things to sort. The existing debt and secondly prevent her from going to companies for any new loans and credit cards.
    I found an application for a capital one card at the weekend.

    I don't know where the money goes as she lives like a bag lady.
     
  4. Pickles53

    Pickles53 Registered User

    Feb 25, 2014
    2,482
    Radcliffe on Trent
    I think CAB is a good place to start as they have a lot of experience dealing with this type of problem and will know how to draft the letters to get the best result. They could also check that MIL is getting all the benefits she's entitled to, for example Attendance Allowance which would also enable her to get a council tax reduction/exemption.
     
  5. kingybell

    kingybell Registered User

    Feb 3, 2015
    115
    I'm told she's not entitled to attendance allowance so have applied for PIP form. This has been over a month now and they still haven't sent the forms. They have told me I have to have an appointee meeting.

    It's driving me mad as my husband and I work full time and have a 5yr old to look after.
     
  6. nitram

    nitram Registered User

    Apr 6, 2011
    18,288
    Male
    North Manchester
    #6 nitram, Feb 9, 2015
    Last edited: Feb 9, 2015
    The first thing is not to panic.
    As has been said the CAB will put you in touch with organisations offering help.

    You could also go to
    http://boards.fool.co.uk/dealing-with-debt-50079.aspx
    if you click on any post you will see lots of useful links in the right hand pane.

    Several of the posters are solicitors, others are bailiffs or work in the debt collection industry. You have to join Motley Fool (it's free) to be able to post but if you do you will get plenty of non judgemental help. Posters touting for business have posts removed and are ultimately banned.
     
  7. WILLIAMR

    WILLIAMR Account Closed

    Apr 12, 2014
    1,079
    What I would say is you can not be held liable for the debt.
    I know somebody who had not seen his father for years. When his father died he got letters demanding he paid a total of about £10,000 worth of his father's debt.
    He invited the companies to take him to court. It never happened.


    William
     
  8. kingybell

    kingybell Registered User

    Feb 3, 2015
    115
     
  9. WILLIAMR

    WILLIAMR Account Closed

    Apr 12, 2014
    1,079
     
  10. LYN T

    LYN T Registered User

    Aug 30, 2012
    6,967
    Brixham Devon
    Hi Kingybell-I'm sorry that you are going through this on top of all the pressures involved with Dementia.

    I would advise getting the LPA sooner rather than later as Financial Institutions will not speak to you unless this is in place. You may be able to negotiate with them as Izzy suggests.

    I'm a bit alarmed with regard to your last statement though. Do you think that she has been hiding money? Try to check her bank statements to see if there has been any large withdrawals of cash from her bank. I don't mean to worry you further-but has she been giving money to people-she is vulnerable and she could be a target for unscrupulous people/tradesmen etc.

    Wishing you all the best

    Lyn T
     
  11. kingybell

    kingybell Registered User

    Feb 3, 2015
    115
    I can't get to the bottom of it fully as she doesn't have a proper bank account only post office for her benefit. It's very complicated and it's defo not a trades person who has had the money. I want to get an LPA done ASAP but scared I will be liable for any debt she racks up in the future. My husband said let her get into debt the lenders won't get it back. He is in denial and finds the whole thing frustrating as we also have to deal with an unscrupulous family member.
    I can't see her lose her house because she has been silly.
     
  12. sinkhole

    sinkhole Registered User

    Jan 28, 2015
    269
    I agree with Lyn T. Get the LPA in place ASAP. In the meantime, don't panic! If these debts have accumulated over several years, another few weeks isn't going to make that much difference and you need time to get the LPA, do some research and establish what will be the best course of action.

    Consider putting a redirect on her mail now so that you receive all her post. She may not agree to this of course, but it's something we did with my aunt as she was losing or ignoring all sorts of important mail (such as cheques from 10+ years ago lying around the floor which hadn't been cashed!). Now all her mail goes to my mum's address and we can administer her affairs.

    I don't know if filing for bankruptcy is an option for her, but these are the sort of things you should start looking into. If she has a lot of debt and judgments against her, I'd be surprised if the credit card companies will agree to her having more cards. Try and get her to register with a credit control agency like Experian as that will give you a snapshot of her current liabilities.

    I also found my aunt had been ignoring various payment demands but ultimately, unless the individual debt amounts are significant, they could easily be written off when the creditors find out it's going to cost them more money and a lot of grief to try and get them back.
     
  13. LYN T

    LYN T Registered User

    Aug 30, 2012
    6,967
    Brixham Devon
    This situation just gets worse doesn't it? I agree that the CAB should be able to advise you best-but try to see them sooner rather than later. Re the LPA-you won't be liable for any past debts but you could negotiate as has been said. I really can't advise on any future debts as I have no knowledge of this to call on. You appear to have further problems with the family member; has your MIL handed over money or taken out loans for this person? I would advise though, when you do get LPA, you keep meticulous records of what is spent on your MIL's behalf

    Take care

    Lyn T XX
     
  14. LYN T

    LYN T Registered User

    Aug 30, 2012
    6,967
    Brixham Devon
    Excellent idea sinkhole:)
     
  15. nitram

    nitram Registered User

    Apr 6, 2011
    18,288
    Male
    North Manchester
    As well as the CAB contact:-

    The Consumer Credit Counselling Service
    www.cccs.co.uk
    Phone: 0800 138 1111

    National Debtline
    www.nationaldebtline.co.uk
    Phone: 0808 808 4000

    These charities will be able to advise on the best course of action either negotiation, IVA (Individual Voluntary Agreement), or bankruptcy.

    Although you have no formal authority at present they may be able to help.
    Be careful of saying that agreements were signed when she lacked capacity and then proceeding to act with the LPA. The tests for capacity may be different but the waters will become cloudy if you do this.
     
  16. Bill Owen

    Bill Owen Registered User

    Feb 17, 2014
    182
    BRIDGEND
    hi bill. I applied for pip it took 5 month to get sorted out. But well worht the wigth . Hyas you will be back payed . Its about £ 550 a month
     
  17. kingybell

    kingybell Registered User

    Feb 3, 2015
    115
    Thanks guys we are going to see a solicitor next week to start LPA proceedings.
     

Share This Page

  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.
  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.