Death of dog (best friend)

Discussion in 'Welcome and how to use Talking Point' started by nuclear, Dec 8, 2018 at 4:07 AM.

  1. nuclear

    nuclear New member

    Nov 7, 2017
    2
    Mothers dog has been diagnosed with cancer today and has days or maybe a couple of weeks left. He’s her best friend and only comfort - she’s moderate / severe dementia. Any ideas on how to deal?
     
  2. LadyA

    LadyA Registered User

    Oct 19, 2009
    13,333
    Ireland
    Oh dear. That's hard. There's no predicting how your mum will react. We had two of our cats that had to be pts when my husband was in the later moderate stages of dementia. Although he loved them, he didn't actually take care of them, and fortunately, once they were gone, he immediately forgot them. He never referred to them or looked for them. And one of them was 21 years old!

    If you think your mum will understand, then I would explain to her when the time comes. If she doesn't retain it, I wouldn't belabour the point. Once the dog is gone, you will have a better idea of how your mum is about it.
     
  3. Sirena

    Sirena Registered User

    Feb 27, 2018
    486
    Female
    One of the most difficult things about moving my mother to a care home was parting her from her beloved elderly cat (who I managed to rehome). For the first few weeks she asked about him but then she seemed to completely forget. However she is still obsessed with furry creatures and has a large collection of soft toys in her room (not all of them hers!) She likes to sit with one on her lap, talking to it and hugging it. A soft toy or two might help your mum.
     
  4. LadyA

    LadyA Registered User

    Oct 19, 2009
    13,333
    Ireland
    Now you mention it, another nursing home I used to visit several years ago used to have a very realistic toy cat, "sleeping" in a cat bed in a corner of the lounge. I thought it was a lovely idea.
     
  5. B72

    B72 Registered User

    Jul 21, 2018
    107
    My aunt had to give up her dog, she couldn’t look after it properly any more. She had soft toys instead. (She still missed her pet, but it comforted her.)
     
  6. Sirena

    Sirena Registered User

    Feb 27, 2018
    486
    Female
    That is a nice idea - but wouldn't have lasted five minutes if my mother had been there, he would have been relocated to her room!

    The owner of my mother's care home has a little dog she brings in to work, he mostly stays in the office but she also walks him round with her so the residents can pet him, he is very popular.
     
  7. LadyA

    LadyA Registered User

    Oct 19, 2009
    13,333
    Ireland
    At my husband's nursing home when he was there, they had a fabulous day when an Animal Rescue place came. The Home laid on a garden party, and as many residents as possible were brought outside to enjoy treats and play with the various dogs, kittens and a couple of very tame ferrets that the Rescue brought. The residents just loved it, the dogs loved it, they went around from one to the other resident, for petting. And for the residents that couldn't go out, some dogs and kittens were allowed into the nursing home. It was such a success that when it came time to leave and a head count of the furries was done, the Rescue found they were missing a dog and a kitten! A search of the Nursing Home located them. The dog was sleeping beside a wheelchair bound resident, with his head on the man's knee and the kitten was found asleep on another resident's bed! My husband, who was very ill at the time, and died some weeks later, spent about an hour cuddling a tiny kitten. He didn't want to let it go at all. Even though he looks so ill, a photo of him with that kitten, so obviously enjoying it, is one I really treasure.
     
  8. Sirena

    Sirena Registered User

    Feb 27, 2018
    486
    Female
    @LadyA what a lovely day for the residents, and such a lovely memory of your husband. As you say, something to be treasured.
     

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