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Dealing with the practicalities

sunshine1965

Registered User
Dec 21, 2015
12
Mum is right at the beginning of her journey. For some time now I have been doing the cleaning, gardening, ironing etc but I think I am going to get outside help for them for the things someone else can do so making the best use of the time I have with them. I am already a full time carer for my husband and two of my daughter's who are disabled and although I feel I am letting them down I have had to realise I am only flesh and blood and can only do so much in 24 hours. Is there such a thing as an approved list of cleaners or gardeners or is it just a case of looking in the yellow pages? I am concerned that my parents are vulnerable and would rather have some guidance as to who they will be inviting into their home. Sorry if this sounds naive but I really am that overwhelmed by it all. :confused:
 

fizzie

Registered User
Jul 20, 2011
2,730
I was advised very early on by the very experienced and traditional matron at our day hospital to get outside help in early on to acclimatise the person to it and to allow my time to be quality time - I didn't listen but 4 years later I understand why and I think you are very, very sensible xxxxx

Age UK used to have an approved list of tradespeople
phone their freephone helpline and ask - they will help with loads of things as will the Dementia helpline but Age UK will help with forms and all sorts and send someone to visit
Age UK are also very good at practical advice and help - Age UK Advice line free national advice line that is open 365 days a year. To talk to someone, just call 0800 169 2081.

Alzheimer's Society National Dementia Helpline 0300 222 1122 can provide information, support, guidance and signposting to other appropriate organisations.

The Helpline is usually open from:
9am - 8pm Monday to Wednesday
9am - 5pm on Thursday and Friday
10am - 4pm on Saturday and Sunday

and just in case you haven't seen it
This leaflet on compassionate communication is very useful - I found it very hard to master but I stuck it on my fridge to remind me every day and it really does work

Do have a look at it
http://www.ocagingservicescollabora...te-Communication-with-the-Memory-Impaired.pdf
 

Kevinl

Registered User
Aug 24, 2013
4,771
Salford
Contact the local AZ society, age uk, social services or someone similar and see if there is an approved or vetted list of people or companies available, but to be fair they're often reluctant to actually recommend someone, it's normally just a list.
You could put an "area" in on here and see if you can get someone local to you to PM a recommendation, doesn't need to be a postcode just a general area as it seems like a lot of the better services come from smaller localised companies rather than the national groups (in my opinion).
There is still something to be said even in the modern age for the good old fashioned "word of mouth" do you know anyone in a similar situation you could ask, network, anyone you know or know of in a similar situation you could ask, think through your extended network of family, friends, friends of friends the woman down the road who has a gardener/cleaner or whatever. it costs nothing to ask.
K
 

Suzanna1969

Registered User
Mar 28, 2015
346
Essex
I got a cleaner for Mum (Dementia diagnosed 2011) and Dad (Vascular Parkinsonism diagnosed 2012) from Age UK. It's a bit more expensive than a regular cleaner although not by much. However she is used to dealing with older people and keeps an eye on things like used by dates in the fridge and bedding being changed (and she will change the beds if needed). I think she would do ironing if we asked for it but Dad likes to do it and I obviously want to encourage either of them wanting to do stuff for themselves.

The bill is paid by direct debit by me and Bruv and the invoice is sent to me at home so Mum and Dad think it's free because they qualify for a free cleaner (lies lies damn lies!) The cleaner also knows the Keysafe code in case they don't hear the doorbell (Dad is deaf so this does happen!)

I'd recommend this method if you think your parents would be resistant to paid help and definitely to give you peace of mind as to who is going into their home.
 

Amy in the US

Registered User
Feb 28, 2015
4,617
USA
Another suggestion I read somewhere here on TP is to visit the local carer's cafe and ask people there for recommendations. This gives you both a personal recommendation and perhaps a referral for someone who is used to working for households with dementia.

I think you are very smart to get all the help you can in place, as soon as possible. Good for you!

Best wishes.
 

sunshine1965

Registered User
Dec 21, 2015
12
Another suggestion I read somewhere here on TP is to visit the local carer's cafe and ask people there for recommendations. This gives you both a personal recommendation and perhaps a referral for someone who is used to working for households with dementia.

I think you are very smart to get all the help you can in place, as soon as possible. Good for you!

Best wishes.
Thank you for your advice
 

sunshine1965

Registered User
Dec 21, 2015
12
I got a cleaner for Mum (Dementia diagnosed 2011) and Dad (Vascular Parkinsonism diagnosed 2012) from Age UK. It's a bit more expensive than a regular cleaner although not by much. However she is used to dealing with older people and keeps an eye on things like used by dates in the fridge and bedding being changed (and she will change the beds if needed). I think she would do ironing if we asked for it but Dad likes to do it and I obviously want to encourage either of them wanting to do stuff for themselves.

The bill is paid by direct debit by me and Bruv and the invoice is sent to me at home so Mum and Dad think it's free because they qualify for a free cleaner (lies lies damn lies!) The cleaner also knows the Keysafe code in case they don't hear the doorbell (Dad is deaf so this does happen!)

I'd recommend this method if you think your parents would be resistant to paid help and definitely to give you peace of mind as to who is going into their home.
Thank you for your advice.
 

sunshine1965

Registered User
Dec 21, 2015
12
Contact the local AZ society, age uk, social services or someone similar and see if there is an approved or vetted list of people or companies available, but to be fair they're often reluctant to actually recommend someone, it's normally just a list.
You could put an "area" in on here and see if you can get someone local to you to PM a recommendation, doesn't need to be a postcode just a general area as it seems like a lot of the better services come from smaller localised companies rather than the national groups (in my opinion).
There is still something to be said even in the modern age for the good old fashioned "word of mouth" do you know anyone in a similar situation you could ask, network, anyone you know or know of in a similar situation you could ask, think through your extended network of family, friends, friends of friends the woman down the road who has a gardener/cleaner or whatever. it costs nothing to ask.
K
Thanks for your advice.
 

sunshine1965

Registered User
Dec 21, 2015
12
I was advised very early on by the very experienced and traditional matron at our day hospital to get outside help in early on to acclimatise the person to it and to allow my time to be quality time - I didn't listen but 4 years later I understand why and I think you are very, very sensible xxxxx

Age UK used to have an approved list of tradespeople
phone their freephone helpline and ask - they will help with loads of things as will the Dementia helpline but Age UK will help with forms and all sorts and send someone to visit
Age UK are also very good at practical advice and help - Age UK Advice line free national advice line that is open 365 days a year. To talk to someone, just call 0800 169 2081.

Alzheimer's Society National Dementia Helpline 0300 222 1122 can provide information, support, guidance and signposting to other appropriate organisations.

The Helpline is usually open from:
9am - 8pm Monday to Wednesday
9am - 5pm on Thursday and Friday
10am - 4pm on Saturday and Sunday

and just in case you haven't seen it
This leaflet on compassionate communication is very useful - I found it very hard to master but I stuck it on my fridge to remind me every day and it really does work

Do have a look at it
http://www.ocagingservicescollabora...te-Communication-with-the-Memory-Impaired.pdf
Thank you for your advice.