My mom has been in a care home now for 8 months. So far, so good. She's been quite settled and usually has had no complaints. Granted, she can't remember what goes on there but she has always seemed content. This was a big difference to her distress when she was at home, worrying about everything and being bored, anxious and getting angry at others often.
Recently, two new residents moved in. Both are still verbal. One is very confused and her manner is quite aggressive and she speaks very loudly and gets very close to others to shout in their faces. This is upsetting to everyone, the staff, visitors and of course the other residents. My mom doesn't understand this woman is ill and that's why she behaves this way. She just gets angry and frustrated with her. The other resident is the tricky situation. She and my mom have become inseparable. They go everywhere together, do everything together. I was so happy to see that she had made a good friend. They really seem to enjoy each others' company. I suspect that this woman might be gay, but I have no problem with that. She seems to treat my mom like a romantic partner, rather than just a friend.
The trouble is that this lady sundowns in the evenings after dinner. She starts to get agitated and wants to leave the unit. She gets angry that she can't get out, and complains, cries, etc...to my mom...who in turn goes to the staff and asks why she isn't being allowed to leave? It upsets her to see her friend upset, so she starts getting all worked up and angry- to the point where she has grabbed the nurse's arm and twisted in anger. She and this lady try to barricade themselves inside one of their rooms, leaning on the door so the staff have to push their way in, trying to sleep in the same bed, etc.
The staff have had to hide my mother's pictures and name sign from outside her door, because the other woman will roam around at night looking for her room and then wake my mom up by knocking on her door.
I'm not sure what the staff are going to do about this, but it really upsets me to see my mom so unsettled. The last 2 visits, she kept asking to go home and that she didn't want to stay there any longer. She says she's "sick of this place" but can't articulate her complaints.
I think it may be time to meet with the staff to figure out how to straighten this out.
Edited to add: any thoughts or suggestions on how to manage this, or should I leave it to the staff? Several nurses have told me about it and things seem to be escalating.
Recently, two new residents moved in. Both are still verbal. One is very confused and her manner is quite aggressive and she speaks very loudly and gets very close to others to shout in their faces. This is upsetting to everyone, the staff, visitors and of course the other residents. My mom doesn't understand this woman is ill and that's why she behaves this way. She just gets angry and frustrated with her. The other resident is the tricky situation. She and my mom have become inseparable. They go everywhere together, do everything together. I was so happy to see that she had made a good friend. They really seem to enjoy each others' company. I suspect that this woman might be gay, but I have no problem with that. She seems to treat my mom like a romantic partner, rather than just a friend.
The trouble is that this lady sundowns in the evenings after dinner. She starts to get agitated and wants to leave the unit. She gets angry that she can't get out, and complains, cries, etc...to my mom...who in turn goes to the staff and asks why she isn't being allowed to leave? It upsets her to see her friend upset, so she starts getting all worked up and angry- to the point where she has grabbed the nurse's arm and twisted in anger. She and this lady try to barricade themselves inside one of their rooms, leaning on the door so the staff have to push their way in, trying to sleep in the same bed, etc.
The staff have had to hide my mother's pictures and name sign from outside her door, because the other woman will roam around at night looking for her room and then wake my mom up by knocking on her door.
I'm not sure what the staff are going to do about this, but it really upsets me to see my mom so unsettled. The last 2 visits, she kept asking to go home and that she didn't want to stay there any longer. She says she's "sick of this place" but can't articulate her complaints.
I think it may be time to meet with the staff to figure out how to straighten this out.
Edited to add: any thoughts or suggestions on how to manage this, or should I leave it to the staff? Several nurses have told me about it and things seem to be escalating.
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