Dealing with "lack of patience"

Discussion in 'ARCHIVE FORUM: Support discussions' started by JamesR, Dec 9, 2005.

  1. JamesR

    JamesR Registered User

    Dec 6, 2005
    15
    London
    One issue we have struggled with my mother who has AD that when we go out for meals or prepare meals at home she has no ability comprehend the time it takes between placing an order and receiving food at your table or at home between starting to prepare food and then sitting and eating it. Obviously she is not understanding the elapse of time and realising that say if you order say a Sunday roast in a pub you would not expect it to appear for say 5-10 minutes.

    We did notice that when out as an extended family we were able to calm her down by getting her to do some colouring in like her 4 yr old grandchild who was also present and a bit bored at the table.

    Has anyone got any techniques that work in the situation were you are waiting for things eg in a doctor's surgery or a restaurant to keep someone occupied? I find I tend to resort to scolding her and saying "don't be so anxious" or "t has only been a few minutes" This achieves little. Is it best to perhaps bring a magazine or something?
     
  2. Sheila

    Sheila Registered User

    Oct 23, 2003
    2,259
    West Sussex
    Hi James, yes, take some props. I always tried to have a crossword to fill in, Mum would help me with the answers long after she could fill it in herself. Magazines are also good, but it was the letters and problem pages rather than stories (too long) or articles (too complicated.) We would discuss the letters and put the world to rights quite happily! Love She. XX
     
  3. Norman

    Norman Registered User

    Oct 9, 2003
    4,348
    Birmingham Hades
    Hi jamesr
    I have not found any easy answer to placate my wife in the situations that you describe.
    We cannot go for meals any longer but she used to get very impatient and complain about the slow service.
    I n t he Doctors I just keep her talking,about anything and that has worked so far.
    Remember you cannot reason with the unreasonable.
    Norman
     
  4. Mjaqmac

    Mjaqmac Registered User

    Mar 13, 2004
    939
    We got past the stage of going for meals with mum as for one thing, with her chest condition, the smoke would have choked her!

    But like most people, we were in the doctor's waiting room a lot. I would use magazines, the most colourful ones and show mum pictures, saying isn't that a nice room, would you like that wallpaper in our house etc. It kept her distracted from asking why are we here? But your idea of colouring in is an excellent one.
     
  5. JamesR

    JamesR Registered User

    Dec 6, 2005
    15
    London
    Thanks for that - maybe we will try the colouring in thing esp when the kids are there...plus maybe take a magazine with us or pick something up on the way eg a paper or a magazine in the bar/pub.
     
  6. Sandy

    Sandy Registered User

    Mar 23, 2005
    6,847
    Hi James,

    Another possibility is a small photo album - the kind that can fit into a handbag.

    The comparison to the four-year-old grandchild is very apt. People with AD generally tend to lose skills in a reverse order to which they were originally obtained. While a person with AD is still an adult, they may at some point have the levels of comprehension and the attention span of a young child.

    The most effective ways of dealing with these changes is to try and see the world from their perspectives. An excellent book to assist with this process is "Learning to Speak Alzheimer's".

    Take care,

    Sandy
     
  7. Lynne

    Lynne Registered User

    Jun 3, 2005
    3,433
    Suffolk,England
    Hi James

    I don't know how appropriate this suggestion might be but, if your Mum can still walk reasonably well, how about ordering the meal and then going out for a 5 minute walk round the garden (or the block, or look in a few shops) to fill in the time. Or order the meal in advance for a specific sit-down time.

    Best wishes
     

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