1. Expert Q&A: Benefits - Weds 23 October, 3-4pm

    Our next expert Q&A will be on the topic of benefits. It will be hosted by Lauren from our Knowledge Services team. She'll be answering your questions on Wednesday 23 October between 3-4pm.

    You can either post your question >here< or email them to us at talkingpoint@alzheimers.org.uk and we'll be happy to ask them on your behalf.

  1. Tryingtodothiswithgrace

    Jun 24, 2019
    1
    Hi
    I m new to this, my mum had her diagnosis nearly a year ago and it was hard to deal with at the time, but as a family we started to do the bits you need in place for the future, paper work, wet rooms etc
    I thought I had delt with the sadness of this and got to a good place, a year on I had to dress her for the 1st time this weekend, dad lost her while out, and she knows she’s changing and hate the issolation in her head of not being able to keep up of deal with social situations, and all I see is a sad lost child. I m trying to be strong for them but it so hard and I don’t know how to manage the feeling coming up in me around the loss it’s effect other relationships.
    Can anybody help around this area?

    Thanks in advance.
     
  2. nae sporran

    nae sporran Volunteer Host

    Oct 29, 2014
    5,921
    Male
    Bristol
    Welcome to Dementia Talking Point @Tryingtodothiswithgrace. You will find many on here who can identify with every aspect of dementia you describe. The way each new day can bring a new heartbreak is hard to deal with, and offloading on here can bring a release just by knowing others are fighting the same battles and know how you feel.
    I also can recommend CBT and counselling, both of which have helped me find a safe place to talk and provided some coping strategies.
     
  3. Shedrech

    Shedrech Volunteer Moderator

    Dec 15, 2012
    8,051
    Yorkshire
    hello @Tryingtodothiswithgrace
    a warm welcome from me too
    a good many carers will recognise the feelings you describe
    personally, I'd say don't try to be too strong ... you are in a situation none of us would wish on each other and you have a right to feel as you do, so acknowledge your feelings and be gentle with yourself ... you're sad and grieving for the loss of your mum of old while doing your what you can for your mum of now .. and you and your family are doing so well for her

    this page about anticipatory grief may help explain
    https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/get-support/help-dementia-care/feelings-after-diagnosis-dementia
     

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