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Dealing with abuse


New member
Aug 14, 2020
I am 70 years old and my wife has dementia. She has recently become more and more aggressive, both verbally and physically. Are there any emergency responses available other than the police ? She has never really hurt me physically but I fear it will happen soon. The physical side manifests itself mainly by her throwing things around the flat and also at me. Background info is that her first small signs began about 4 years ago and she was diagnosed about 4 weeks ago. Neither of us have any family or friends available to help.


Registered User
Jun 12, 2020
Sounds to me like an urgent chat with your GP is needed to see if he/she can help in any way. Must be an awful situation for you.


Volunteer Moderator
Aug 31, 2003
I’m so sorry to hear that @RalphM. It must be so distressing.

I agree that it would be a good idea to call the GP and see if they can help any. If this is very recent I wonder if she might have a urine infection. These can result in people becoming aggressive.

You may find it necessary to call the police if things do get to an emergency situation. I’ve read posts from other members here who have found them to be very understanding and helpful when they’ve had to call them. Please make sure you have somewhere in the house to ‘retreat’ too if things get really bad. Preferably somewhere you can lock yourself in - and make sure you have a mobile phone with you.

You can also phone Social Services and ask for your wife to have a care assessment if she hasn’t already had one. If she has then please contact the care manager or the duty social worker and ask for an urgent reassessment.

Also think about phoning the support line and discuss what’s happening with someone there.

I’m glad you’ve found the forum. Keep posting!

None the Wiser

Registered User
Feb 3, 2020
Please don’t put up with it. I did for several months. I finally spoke to the GP who immediately referred to a psychiatrist. The psychiatrist has been very good prescribing medication and twice a week calls from the attached nursing team to check that I’m safe. I am as my husband responded well to Lorazepam. The psychiatrist also contacted social services to check on respite options etc. it’s the only help we’ve had since my husband was diagnosed 3 years ago. At last I feel someone is aware of our difficulties.
Good luck.