Hi everyone, it's my first time posting here.
My lovely dad is in the moderate stages of this horrible disease. It's early-onset, and he was diagnosed about 5/6 years ago. Mum is his sole carer - they live abroad and I only get to see them a handful of times a year (though we speak every few days).
Earlier this year dad had a couple of mini strokes which has left him wheelchair-bound and it means that mum is really struggling to care for him herself. He's started getting a bit aggressive, mainly verbally but a couple of times physically. And mum basically has no life, other than being dad's 24/7 carer. It breaks my heart.
I've tried everything to convince her she either needs outside help, or for them to move closer to me so I can share the caring duties (I can't move to them because of other commitments, or I would). Mum's being really stubborn and in denial (she thinks that getting help is "giving up hope" - !!). It breaks my heart and I can understand why people end up in denial but I am tearing my hair out trying to convince her that things can't go on as they are. I'm absolutely terrified something will happen to her because of the stress of everything too.
The maddest thing is, as upsetting as dad's dementia is, the thing that makes it worse is how my mum is dealing with it. She's almost in martyr mode now - they recently were at the doctors and she was telling me with pride that the nurses couldn't quite believe she was dealing with it all by herself. I love my mum but she drives me crazy!
I guess my question is - has anyone had a similar situation? If so, I'd love to hear what it finally was that made that parent accept help, or any advice about what to say to encourage her. It's stressing me out so much! Thank you so much.
My lovely dad is in the moderate stages of this horrible disease. It's early-onset, and he was diagnosed about 5/6 years ago. Mum is his sole carer - they live abroad and I only get to see them a handful of times a year (though we speak every few days).
Earlier this year dad had a couple of mini strokes which has left him wheelchair-bound and it means that mum is really struggling to care for him herself. He's started getting a bit aggressive, mainly verbally but a couple of times physically. And mum basically has no life, other than being dad's 24/7 carer. It breaks my heart.
I've tried everything to convince her she either needs outside help, or for them to move closer to me so I can share the caring duties (I can't move to them because of other commitments, or I would). Mum's being really stubborn and in denial (she thinks that getting help is "giving up hope" - !!). It breaks my heart and I can understand why people end up in denial but I am tearing my hair out trying to convince her that things can't go on as they are. I'm absolutely terrified something will happen to her because of the stress of everything too.
The maddest thing is, as upsetting as dad's dementia is, the thing that makes it worse is how my mum is dealing with it. She's almost in martyr mode now - they recently were at the doctors and she was telling me with pride that the nurses couldn't quite believe she was dealing with it all by herself. I love my mum but she drives me crazy!
I guess my question is - has anyone had a similar situation? If so, I'd love to hear what it finally was that made that parent accept help, or any advice about what to say to encourage her. It's stressing me out so much! Thank you so much.