Hi everybody,
I'm new here, but I've been caring for my Mum (81) for several years - feels like forever, I'm sure you all know what I mean.
Until last week Mum was going to a local daycare centre twice a week. A few months ago they told me that she was becoming increasingly aggressive.
Last week I got a call from her social worker telling me that the daycare centre could no longer cope with her behaviour - apparently she was being very uncooperative when they tried to change her 'nappy' (what else can you call them?) just before she was due to come home. I only rarely have a problem changing her, so I can't see any reason why 'professionals' should have such difficulty.
She's only occasionally aggressive when she's here, I'd guess that she feels thwarted when they try to redirect her behaviour at the centre.
She also wanders around, eating just about anything she can get her hands on - leaves from potted plants etc.
As a result of this, I'm now left without any daycare - the only relief I currently have is a Crossroads carer one Friday a week.
It seems that my only options now are rolling respite (1 week in 6), and short term care at the Stewart day hospital (max 8 weeks). I'm trying to get extra sitting from Crossroads but they are overstretched as it is.
I don't know how long I can carry on like this, it's only been a week so far, but it's taking its toll already. I dread to think what state I'll be in after a month.
Where do I go from here? I feel rather let down by Social Services and the NHS. Is that really the best they can do?
I don't want Mum to go into a home yet a while - I've heard enough horror stories to want to keep her at home as long as possible. I'd rather not have her sectioned either.
Basically, I feel abandoned by the system, and I'm starting to get worried about my own mental state. I'm just about holding things together at the moment, but I don't know how long I'll be able to cope.
I'm new here, but I've been caring for my Mum (81) for several years - feels like forever, I'm sure you all know what I mean.
Until last week Mum was going to a local daycare centre twice a week. A few months ago they told me that she was becoming increasingly aggressive.
Last week I got a call from her social worker telling me that the daycare centre could no longer cope with her behaviour - apparently she was being very uncooperative when they tried to change her 'nappy' (what else can you call them?) just before she was due to come home. I only rarely have a problem changing her, so I can't see any reason why 'professionals' should have such difficulty.
She's only occasionally aggressive when she's here, I'd guess that she feels thwarted when they try to redirect her behaviour at the centre.
She also wanders around, eating just about anything she can get her hands on - leaves from potted plants etc.
As a result of this, I'm now left without any daycare - the only relief I currently have is a Crossroads carer one Friday a week.
It seems that my only options now are rolling respite (1 week in 6), and short term care at the Stewart day hospital (max 8 weeks). I'm trying to get extra sitting from Crossroads but they are overstretched as it is.
I don't know how long I can carry on like this, it's only been a week so far, but it's taking its toll already. I dread to think what state I'll be in after a month.
Where do I go from here? I feel rather let down by Social Services and the NHS. Is that really the best they can do?
I don't want Mum to go into a home yet a while - I've heard enough horror stories to want to keep her at home as long as possible. I'd rather not have her sectioned either.
Basically, I feel abandoned by the system, and I'm starting to get worried about my own mental state. I'm just about holding things together at the moment, but I don't know how long I'll be able to cope.
