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day from hell

nannylondon

Registered User
Apr 7, 2014
2,475
London
Hi a quick update on my husband over the weekend poor Chris got increasingly aggressive
Had to call police out twice as he got violent and hit me he calmed down and I agreed with police that he shouldn't be arrested then today he completely lost it punched me in face started flinging furniture smashed tv phoned 999 police called ambulance and have taken him to hospital now I am sitting crying my eyes out I feel so bad that it has come to this all I can say is the system doesn't work as it should I have been trying to get help from social services doctors community psychiatry team no luck and now I feel is failure
 

Tears Falling

Registered User
Jul 8, 2013
637
Oh nannylondon I am sorry to read about your current situation. Chris will be well looked after. Have you had your injuries checked out and do you have any family around you to give you some support and tlc.
 

pamann

Registered User
Oct 28, 2013
2,635
Kent
I am so sorry that you are having this terrible time, you can not go on any longer, you are not safe. Something will have to be done now your hubby will have to be sectioned, you can not carry on like this, do you have family to support you?
 

Canadian Joanne

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 8, 2005
16,496
66
Toronto, Canada
You are not the failure - the system has failed you. But now I hope Chris can be properly assessed, with services and things put in place for him. I would immediately tell social serices, the doctors, and the community psychiatry team what has happened because you were not given any sort of support.
 

Chuggalug

Registered User
Mar 24, 2014
8,007
Norfolk
Hi a quick update on my husband over the weekend poor Chris got increasingly aggressive
Had to call police out twice as he got violent and hit me he calmed down and I agreed with police that he shouldn't be arrested then today he completely lost it punched me in face started flinging furniture smashed tv phoned 999 police called ambulance and have taken him to hospital now I am sitting crying my eyes out I feel so bad that it has come to this all I can say is the system doesn't work as it should I have been trying to get help from social services doctors community psychiatry team no luck and now I feel is failure
How long have you been trying for help, nannylondon? It took me years to sort out help. For many of us, it's as if we're talking a load of nonsense, and we get pushed aside. That won't happen now, as your hubby seems to have gone a bit too far just to be shoved aside, any more. Do what I did whilst he's in hospital and ask them to document everything they see. That's what finally worked for me, and he's now been diagnosed as having dementia.

From what I've had happen, you can now no longer be ignored. I'm desperately sorry to see you've suffered this much. Please do ask for everything to be documented from now on.
 

nannylondon

Registered User
Apr 7, 2014
2,475
London
thanks

Oh nannylondon I am sorry to read about your current situation. Chris will be well looked after. Have you had your injuries checked out and do you have any family around you to give you some support and tlc.
Thanks for your kind words hopefully Chris will get the help he deserves I will see doc in morning my son has come over to look after me
 

nannylondon

Registered User
Apr 7, 2014
2,475
London
thanks for advice

How long have you been trying for help, nannylondon? It took me years to sort out help. For many of us, it's as if we're talking a load of nonsense, and we get pushed aside. That won't happen now, as your hubby seems to have gone a bit too far just to be shoved aside, any more. Do what I did whilst he's in hospital and ask them to document everything they see. That's what finally worked for me, and he's now been diagnosed as having dementia.

From what I've had happen, you can now no longer be ignored. I'm desperately sorry to see you've suffered this much. Please do ask for everything to be documented from now on.
Chris has had Alzheimer's for 9 years have been trying to get more help for the past 9 months as he suddenly got worse but no one listened till it got to this point but I will document everything
 

Chuggalug

Registered User
Mar 24, 2014
8,007
Norfolk
Chris has had Alzheimer's for 9 years have been trying to get more help for the past 9 months as he suddenly got worse but no one listened till it got to this point but I will document everything
Yes, your documentation is valid, too, as you're the one who has lived with this for this long. But also get the hospital staff to document everything THEY see. That should start putting things in place to keep you both safe. It might mean respite for a short time. If so, then let it happen.

Don't be a backseat driver, though. Ask all the relevant questions you feel you need to. I was asked to attend two meetings, nannylondon. You might get the same thing happen.

Go to them. It is not in the least frightening. And be vocal. Get your own thoughts out on the table, whatever they may be.
 

mabbs

Registered User
Dec 1, 2014
238
Lancashire
hello nannylondon, I have been through a similar situation, my Phil is now in assessment unit at the local hospital, take a look at my thread, it gets better honestly, I cried like you for days, but now I see he is much better, stay strong it will get better give it time. Thinking of you x
 

nannylondon

Registered User
Apr 7, 2014
2,475
London
Thanks

hello nannylondon, I have been through a similar situation, my Phil is now in assessment unit at the local hospital, take a look at my thread, it gets better honestly, I cried like you for days, but now I see he is much better, stay strong it will get better give it time. Thinking of you x
Thanks Mabbs your supportive message is really reassuring I have read your thread and it sounds like a very similar situation I hope Phil is still doing ok.
 

CollegeGirl

Registered User
Jan 19, 2011
9,524
North East England
I have no advice but wanted to add my support. It's not you who has failed, nannylondon. You have been failed by those who have not listened. I'm so very sorry that it came to this, and hope now that the only way is up.

Much love xx
 

nannylondon

Registered User
Apr 7, 2014
2,475
London
thanks

I have no advice but wanted to add my support. It's not you who has failed, nannylondon. You have been failed by those who have not listened. I'm so very sorry that it came to this, and hope now that the only way is up.

Much love xx
Thanks for support I know it's the system that has failed Chris has been sectioned which is the last thing I wanted
 

AlsoConfused

Registered User
Sep 17, 2010
1,953
Sadly it may be the best way of getting Chris the help he (and you) need. It shouldn't be this way ....
 

chris53

Registered User
Nov 9, 2009
2,929
London
Just wanted to send you a big hug and hope that you will be able to smile again soon, so sorry that Chris is in such a dark and confused place and hope that he gets help soon.
Chris x
 

Chuggalug

Registered User
Mar 24, 2014
8,007
Norfolk
Thanks for support I know it's the system that has failed Chris has been sectioned which is the last thing I wanted
Seems to be more than typical for things to have to revert to crisis point before help steps in. Took my hubby a broken hip to start things for us :( But at least now, we're 'in the system' and cared for and cared about. That just makes me want to cry for relief.

I sincerely hope it all pans out the same for you both, nannylondon. I really do.
 

truth24

Registered User
Oct 13, 2013
5,725
North Somerset
So sorry to read of your suffering. Hope your husband gets his much needed treatment soon and that you have lots of support from your family.
 

angiebails

Registered User
Oct 8, 2009
227
crewe
I don't know where you live but the system does seem to vary by such a great deal. My husband has been having violent outbursts for a long time and has hit me and threatened to kill me. At first I tried to protect him and not tell the whole truth about the situation but as it got worst I have now told the dementia clinic and since they have been informed, and it has been documented that he has threatened to kill me and he told the psychiatrist that he hit me they have taken notice and are trying sort out his medication to calm him.
I now have my number logged with the police so if I ring they know of my situation even if I cannot speak, you mustn't let yourself be put in danger. Make sure you have the emergency number for the dementia clinic and phone them anytime that you are in danger as when your husband comes home your safety is paramount.


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