Day Centres

[Reds]

Does anyone know when Day Centres might open? My husband luckily has three he can attend now but they are all still closed.

I need a break! Husband urinated on bathroom floor twice this morning, I felt so angry! Feel bad now as know he just can't help it!

 

[Just me]

I think it depends on the provider as to when and if they they start running day care again.
I was just about to post that I’ve just been told that the one mum goes to has been stopped indefinitely and I’m so disappointed ?

 

[nae sporran]

Last time I spoke to the manager of my partner's day centre she thought September was a bit early to re-open. Music therapy were waiting for the halls they rent to open while trying to work out a plan for cleaning and reducing the sharing of instruments.
Sorry you are under the hammer @Reds, and needing a break. I hope something changes for you soon and you can get some respite.

 

[Reds]

Thank you both. Yes its very hard if only we knew. We are managing but when things get tough I think about the day centres and also the future. My husband could do with the activities and motivation.

 

[annielou]

My mum had started going to an ageuk day care before lockdown. They are hoping to reopen next week but haven’t confirmed that yet. They will only be opening 3 days rather than 5 and will only have about 4 people there each day. People will sit apart and have individual equipment and activities that will be kept contained just for them and will have more one on one staff interaction at social distance than group based activities. All staff will be in ppe and will be cleaning regularly.
Manager said they have been busy doing risk assessments and planning how can reopen reading guidelines but they do keep changing and so although they hope to reopen next week she would be back in touch with definite reopening date beforehand.
By the sounds of it they are minimising risk as best they can so if do open next week and mum wants to go then I’m happy for her to go and try it and see if still enjoys.

 

[wendy e]

I have just found a day centre opened near me and more importantly where I work and have booked my OH in for a trial next Friday. He has never been before and I don't know how he will feel about going but after being off work for all these weeks on lockdown I don't think I can leave him all day when I go back to work in September. its either this or I give up work which I need for my sanity. I cant see him as one of the people in the care home but he is unable to do anything for or by himself. He has just spent 30 mins taking odd shoes off and trying to put on a pair of slippers. Also has no idea who I am so that lessens the guilt I'm feeling a little. The cost is almost what I will be earning but I'm hoping they will keep him entertained and busy. I can sometimes but it's so wearing .

 

[Reds]

Interesting! Thank you! I do feel concerned though about how my husband will feel seeing people in PPE! I think it would concern him at the time. Nice to know something is opening! I have heard about the Age UK groups in the past so that might be handy but would prefer especially now with the virus situation that he goes to where he has been before. I hope when and if he does go he will still feel at least a bit familiar with them. Would be lovely if they opened, I know it would make him feel happy and will be a relief for me to know that he has somewhere else to go especially if I have a day out in the future which is essential for my well being and so I can continue to be able to cope with him. I enjoy being with him a lot but find it difficult when we have trying times like incontinence issues.

 

[Laura40]

I've been told that things might... be ready to open in September by my local council daycare but not with the same services as before I've been told that it would be sensible to try myself for private carers that could come to the house as a back up rather than be dependent on daycare, not great to hear. Social services trying their hardest however to ensure something will be available as they do not want me stopping work.

 

[None the Wiser]

Goodness, doesn’t it vary across the country. I’m in East Sussex and our local day care centre has been open for about 4 weeks. I was desperate by the time they reopened as my husband needs constant entertainment. It makes such a difference to have a couple of days a week for a few hours when you can breathe again! Hope they manage to stay open. ?

 

[Just me]

Goodness, doesn’t it vary across the country. I’m in East Sussex and our local day care centre has been open for about 4 weeks. I was desperate by the time they reopened as my husband needs constant entertainment. It makes such a difference to have a couple of days a week for a few hours when you can breathe again! Hope they manage to stay open. ?

It does differ doesn’t it.
The letter I received said the reason for the indefinite suspension of the groups was
‘due to Government guidelines restricting numbers able to meet as a group, due to the vulnerability of our service users and considerations of the organisation financial position’.

It was the one thing I was banking on to bring back some sort of normality and give me a break until I try for residential care ?

 

[Woo2]

Mums opened last week, lots of changes , same as @annielou described . Mum ok with them wearing ppe surprisingly and also she was wearing a mask happily when I collected her . It’s amazing how they accept things we wouldn’t expect them to .

 

[Reds]

Thank you! Hope things work out for you all. Fingers crossed other day centres do open somehow. However, due to my husband have mild COPD I don't want him wearing a mask as well as his Alzheimer's as know he struggles with anything different!

 

[Woo2]

They wouldn’t expect him to wear , they told me they didn’t expect any of their clients to wear them but Mum asked , your husband would be exempt anyway . Please don’t let that put you off @Reds .

 

[Reds]

Thank you Woo2

 

[wendy e]

I have just found a day centre opened near me and more importantly where I work and have booked my OH in for a trial next Friday. He has never been before and I don't know how he will feel about going but after being off work for all these weeks on lockdown I don't think I can leave him all day when I go back to work in September. its either this or I give up work which I need for my sanity. I cant see him as one of the people in the care home but he is unable to do anything for or by himself. He has just spent 30 mins taking odd shoes off and trying to put on a pair of slippers. Also has no idea who I am so that lessens the guilt I'm feeling a little. The cost is almost what I will be earning but I'm hoping they will keep him entertained and busy. I can sometimes but it's so wearing .

 

[wendy e]

Well, its taken me this long to post again after our trial day at the day center. I lost my sister two days before and was feeling fragile. Nevertheless i took him as he was totally unaware and left him to have some time on my own. three hours went by and i had a call saying could i collect him as they could not cope. he kept trying to get out of the building. So i went to pick him up. Since then the memory team and social workers have been involved. had a face to face visit with the memory team nurse who was surprised how much he had deteriorated and am now waiting for a face to face visit from social workers. BUT they tell me i am suffering from carers fatigue and ask me what support i want. i have no idea because i don't know what is available. My OH hates being indoors and is physically very fit so i cant see him fitting in in a day center and definitely not any of the care homes i know of. Resigned to giving up work now and will have to reassess my life.

 

[TNJJ]

Hi. Age U.K. do befrienders. Maybe they could match him up with someone active. I’m sorry to hear about your sister. ((Sending hugs)). I hope you are able to take some time out to reassess and to grieve. You need to think about you...

 

[wendy e]

Thank you. i will look into the Age UK befrienders. Had not thought of that. People keep telling me to think of myself but how do i. I know there are many in a worse place than i am.

 

[canary]

Hey @wendy e , one thing I have learned is that when you are in the thick of it all it is hard to see how bad it has all become. You compare yourself to others and think that others have it worse than you. I did exactly the same - told myself that I had it easy, that I should be stronger, that it wasnt too bad, right up to the point where I reached carers breakdown. You have to do things that are right, not just for him, but for you too.

 

[TNJJ]

Thank you. i will look into the Age UK befrienders. Had not thought of that. People keep telling me to think of myself but how do i. I know there are many in a worse place than i am.

Hi. I look after both parents (different houses) . It is not easy. Dad has carers in 5days a week I do 2. At the moment I look after mum one day a week as she is a lot better than dad . No dementia unlike dad. Before I got into a routine it was 6 days a week and I reached carers burnout. Got up thinking about them and still thought about them when I wasn’t there. I implemented the carers coming more and arranged day care in a care home once a month. It was for him to socialise and to have a bath as dad has mobility issues. I know it’s not easy but without you there would be no him. We are here to help and listen. Keep posting.