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Day centre available. What do you say?

Thethirdmrsc

Registered User
Apr 4, 2018
411
0
It’s been 6 weeks since we moved, and we have had some good visits from the mental health team, and now, tomorrow we have a visit to a local day centre to look around. I think they have a place twice a week, which I want him to go to. Any advice as to how I approach this? The visit is ok, I’m going with,” going to look at a cafe centre,” but what about approaching the fact that, yes you are coming here twice a week. What nice words can I use?
 

Jessbow

Registered User
Mar 1, 2013
3,697
0
West Hertfordshire
Don't! Stick to the story- going out for lunch.
When the nexttime come round ( assume you are transporting) say the same, but just pop off to ''do some shopping'' for an hour.
3rd time, drop him off, say you are going to do some shopping, ''you have lunch here with your pals''
 

Bettysue

Registered User
Mar 21, 2020
65
0
I call the day centre my partner’s ‘club’. I never dreamt he would accept going but he seems to enjoy it. I feel it’s important to have the stimulation and company. He was introduced to it during lockdown as the carers did outreach visits. I hope it works for you as it gives much needed respite.
 

northumbrian_k

Registered User
Mar 2, 2017
1,483
0
Newcastle
My wife went to a day centre a few times. I know she enjoyed it and made friends. But then she refused to go when the minibus called for her and that was the end of it. Later she had respite stays in the same building and happily attended the day centre. A major part of her refusal was that the day centre had the name of the provider - first word 'Dementia' - in big letters on the outside.

That may be something for you to watch out for as it was the sight of the D word that put my wife off.
 

Thethirdmrsc

Registered User
Apr 4, 2018
411
0
Don't! Stick to the story- going out for lunch.
When the nexttime come round ( assume you are transporting) say the same, but just pop off to ''do some shopping'' for an hour.
3rd time, drop him off, say you are going to do some shopping, ''you have lunch here with your pals''
Aha good shout, thanks!
 

Thethirdmrsc

Registered User
Apr 4, 2018
411
0
I call the day centre my partner’s ‘club’. I never dreamt he would accept going but he seems to enjoy it. I feel it’s important to have the stimulation and company. He was introduced to it during lockdown as the carers did outreach visits. I hope it works for you as it gives much needed respite.
That’s what he needs now, more socialisation other than me. It’s like entertaining a toddler 24/7, exhausting!
 

Thethirdmrsc

Registered User
Apr 4, 2018
411
0
My wife went to a day centre a few times. I know she enjoyed it and made friends. But then she refused to go when the minibus called for her and that was the end of it. Later she had respite stays in the same building and happily attended the day centre. A major part of her refusal was that the day centre had the name of the provider - first word 'Dementia' - in big letters on the outside.

That may be something for you to watch out for as it was the sight of the D word that put my wife off.
Good call. I’ve just checked googly earth, and it says carers hub, so that will at least get me in the door!
 

Ramblingrose

Registered User
Feb 2, 2020
72
0
I have benefited from the above comments as we are just waiting for a referral for our nearest Day Centre. The comment about keeping their partner entertained is a struggle we have. Due to complete lack of concentration and virtually no short term memory it is so difficult. It is akin to looking after a 5 year old but when a 5 year old refuses to do something or go somewhere you can pick them up and off they go! I know that if we get my mum to the Day Centre she will not remember anything about it and each visit will be a new experience.
 

marionq

Registered User
Apr 24, 2013
6,400
0
Scotland
When the minibus arrived for my husband he would often stand back for me to alight first so I had a list of reasons not to - I’m going for a haircut, shopping, dentist etc. I’ll see you when I get back so have a good day. Always be upbeat as he’ll pick up your vibes.
 

MaNaAk

Registered User
Jun 19, 2016
5,010
0
Essex
Don't! Stick to the story- going out for lunch.
When the nexttime come round ( assume you are transporting) say the same, but just pop off to ''do some shopping'' for an hour.
3rd time, drop him off, say you are going to do some shopping, ''you have lunch here with your pals''
Don't forget to be very discreet when you leave.

Good luck

MaNaAk
 

JayDeeEmm

Registered User
Mar 29, 2020
19
0
It’s been 6 weeks since we moved, and we have had some good visits from the mental health team, and now, tomorrow we have a visit to a local day centre to look around. I think they have a place twice a week, which I want him to go to. Any advice as to how I approach this? The visit is ok, I’m going with,” going to look at a cafe centre,” but what about approaching the fact that, yes you are coming here twice a week. What nice words can I use?
We were fortunate that the carers from our local Age Concern centre did outreach during the lockdowns,, so mu husband got to know some of the faces. He had a bad experience previously at a 'voluntary' lunch club where unfortunately they treated everyone like 5 year olds. However he goes along happily each week to Age Concern and seems to enjoy his day. I notice the difference it makes to him, as unfortunately, as full time carers we can't also stimulate 24/7. Have you found out what sort of things they do e.g. gardening? football reminiscing? or something that might ties in with his interests? That might help to persuade him. Good luck.
 

Thethirdmrsc

Registered User
Apr 4, 2018
411
0
He went for a taster session on Tuesday, and they said he enjoyed it, although when we came out he wasn’t happy at being in all day, but he will be going next week, and we will take it a a week at a time. He is also starting a walking group next week for 2.5hrs. And the 5 hrs that he was away, I got taken for lunch by my daughter, and she paid. It was a golden day!
 

jennifer1967

Registered User
Mar 15, 2020
5,968
0
Southampton
He went for a taster session on Tuesday, and they said he enjoyed it, although when we came out he wasn’t happy at being in all day, but he will be going next week, and we will take it a a week at a time. He is also starting a walking group next week for 2.5hrs. And the 5 hrs that he was away, I got taken for lunch by my daughter, and she paid. It was a golden day!
thats brilliant. probably tired after a busy day and he will get use to it and the walking group. will be able to do lunch or whatever else you want to do on a more regular basis/.
 

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