Day care success


Registered User
Jul 2, 2005
My husband has been going once a week for day care for 6 weeks. He has been being taken by his Alzheimers Support befriender, and at first liked it, then said it was awful and they were all morons and he was not going again. I pick him up, but had not dared try to take him, as he will do anything Philip suggests, and disagree with anything I suggest. However, Alz Support are not a taxi service, and urged me to at least try.

So, today I just said things like 'Are you ready to go now?' without saying where we were going, and he got into the car. En route, he asked where we were going, and when I said because it was Tuesday we were going to Anzac House, and he was perfectly happy!

It does seem dreadful having to scheme and trick one's husband - it makes a mockery of the relationship that once was. But oh how I enjoy my day off.


Registered User
Mar 12, 2005
West Sussex
Hello Rosalind

You say " It does seem dreadful having to scheme and trick one's husband - it makes a mockery of the relationship that once was. But oh how I enjoy my day off."

I don't think it matters how you got your husband to go to day care, he went happily and that's brilliant!

We and the care home staff have to use all sorts of tactics to help Mum do the things she needs to do, but if they work and she is happy, that's fine.

We entered a new world when Mum became ill, where we treat her so differently than we used to in many ways, but as long as she is safe, well and as happy as she can be given the effects this disease brings with it, that has to be a good thing.

Enjoy your day off, let's hope every Tuesday goes as smoothly for you both.


Tender Face

Account Closed
Mar 14, 2006
NW England
Hiya Rosalind

I would think of it as 'scheming and tricking' if you were doing what you have to for some negative reason - as it is surely you are only doing what you have to do for the benefit of both your hubby and yourself????

Very positive! Very creative!!!

Well done you!!

Love Karen, x


Registered User
Feb 26, 2006
Hi Rosalind

We all have to do what we have to do and unfortunatly AD alters relationships.

Mary is always reluctant to go to the day centre and when I pick her up she is very cheerful and tells everyone that she looks forward to seeing them next week.



Registered User
Oct 9, 2003
Birmingham Hades
Hi Rosalind
like others I have been and am still going through the white lies, the trickery and the story telling.
Next week I have 5 days 4 nights respite,carer lives in with Peg.
Peg thinks that I have gone to a meeting in London (I did in another life) and that I will be away overnight.
When I return she will say "did you have a good meeting"?
Time back I lied and made up stories to get Peg to accept carers.
It is for our mutual support,and I always have at the back of my mind that Peg will not remember the white lies and the stories,so does it matter if it benfits both of us?