I wonder if anyone has any suggestions, please Since last November, shortly after she started at a new day care facility, Mil has gone from 11 stone 4lbs, to 12 stone 12 lbs. Its a lot of weight for her to carry, as she is only a smidge over 5 feet tall, its having a bad impact on her health and causing her some distress. At her last health review, for COPD and diabetes, whilst the diabetes was stable, I was told that her breathing was being compromised by the excess weight - and I can see for myself its getting worse. She's also having a lot more trouble with pain from her arthritic knees, and again, the weight gain is a definite contributory factor. The breathlessness and pain are causing her a lot of upset, but she can never remember that when she is offered any sort of 'treat' - and if reminded, her appetite takes prededence over any weight gain consideration, anyway. At home, I've cut out puddings and snacks, cut portion size, replace carbs with veg/salad wherever I can, and obviously am keeping fat and sugar content to the bare minimum. Another factor is that as she gets heavier, the more I have to do for her in terms of personal care, and as I have some back problems, its having an impact on me - even pushing her in her wheelchair has become really hard work. But how do I get day care on board with helping with this issue? At her review at the care home where day care is held, I said I was worried about her weight, and was assured they would kep an eye on her eating there. After her health review, when the concerns about the COPD were raised by the nurse, I spoke to them again. Yet still I know, from odd remarks the staff have made, that as she walks through the door in the morning she is being given a 'second' breakfast of butter laden toast, and that she is still being provided with biscuits on demand. She recently had a weeks respite at the sister home to where she goes for day care - and gained 4.5lbs in that one short week A few weeks ago I went to collect her at 5pm, and found her tucking into a plate of fishcakes and chips - even though she has her evening meal at home with us, and they know this - it was just before 5pm, so the excuse that everyone else is eating really doesn't hold, does it? No one else was eating that I could see. I dropped her off after a hospital appointment (usually she gets a mini bus in) and she didn't even have her coat off before a plate of toast was put down in front of her. Last night I went to collect her and she was tucking into a plate of biscuits. We've found, on several occasions, empty family size packets of sweets and chocolates in her pockets and handbag - she had either been given them as 'raffle prizes, or has helped herself to 'treats' belonging to staff or residents - the calorific value of the family size bag of 'giant chocolate buttons' that she had scoffed a few weeks ago was over 1000 calories. Add that 1000 calories to the additional toast and biscuits throughout the day, plus her regular meals, and its no wonder she is gaining, despite all my efforts. Last night, for the first time, I got really cross with the senior staff who was at day care - I told them I was fed up, that they weren't being fair to Mil, that they were damaging her health. The staff looked a bit taken aback (I have a really good relationship with them, and in all other area's, I think their care of Mil is great) but again, they agreed that they would be 'more careful' - but I felt like they were just making 'soothing noises' as past events have shown that they can't/won't actually do as I ask. Mil will ask for biscuits/toast/cake/food in general when she gets agitated - its like she has the munchies - and as the staff have told me that she is tending to get more agitated when she is there now, as her illness progresses, I suspect that biscuits/treats are being used to distract or pacify her. I do understand how hard it is to say 'No' when she asks - but I have to do it at home! And a cup of tea by itself can also work (sometimes) as a distraction for her. Its horrible seeing her distress when she can't get her breath, or to see her in tears because the pain in her knees makes her dread climbing the stairs to get to the loo - we are looking at putting in a stair lift for her, ut surely it would be better for her if she could lose the weight ad manage the stairs by herself, for just a bit longer? I'm sure she could if she lost some weight. So, any suggestions about how to get day care on board will be very gratefully recieved.