Day 2 of the leap forward

Discussion in 'ARCHIVE FORUM: Support discussions' started by Gill W, Aug 17, 2007.

  1. Gill W

    Gill W Registered User

    Jan 31, 2007
    190
    Co. Durham
    Thought I'd drop in with an update.

    Gran was collected from the hospital yesterday, and was rather apprehensive about the move to the care home. Mam and my aunt dealt with her with kid gloves, and got her to the home. Whilst getting her ready to leave, the other patients in the dorm told Mam that Gran was frequently up during the night, walking the ward and touching one or the other of them, although not one member of staff told us this was happening. She is now on a diazepine drug, apparently, which no one told us about either. The staff in the home told us that it was to calm the patient, but it could also make them agitated? Why did no one at the hospital tell us that they'd changed her meds?

    Whilst everything went according to 'plan', Mam found it all very traumatic. Gran was very clingy when it came to Mam leaving to try and let the staff orientate her, and Mam didn't know how to handle it. She and my aunt left, telling Gran they were going to the shop and would be back to see her shortly, whilst the staff took her off to get some tea. Mam found that hard to do, and was choking back tears today at the thought of seeing her and her being clingy again.

    We arrived this afternoon to see her, to find her wandering in the corridor, looking for lord knows what. She was pleased to see us, had a lovely smile on her face and reached for Mams hand straight away. We took her to her room so that she could go to the loo, and she was in need of dry clothes. We sat in the conservatory with her, for a while, and listened to her telling us about one and the other of her housemates, (none of which was right, obviously) and then took her to join the others for a cup of tea. She was ok when we left, happy for us to go and to come back tomorrow. I promised her I'd be back tomorrow to see her with a cake for her, she loves cake. We asked if there was anything she would like from her house to be brought down for her, and she couldn't think of anything as yet. The staff have told her that she is there to convalesce from her recent stay in hospital, and we've told her that there is work being done on her house whilst she is there. She agrees that she shouldn't be in the house whilst there are workman there, (!).

    The home rang mam earlier, to let her know that Gran had been sick and they had put her to bed. I think that was possibly down to a greasy dinner when she hasn't had an awful lot to eat in the last two weeks. She had fish today, and I wonder if it was a bit too heavy for her. Nothing since tho, so we presume she's settled.

    I'll be going back in the morning to see how she's settled. Man does this feel wierd, I guess we'll get into some sort of routine given time. I sure hope Gran settles, and finds peace where she is.

    Gill
    xx
     
  2. Amy

    Amy Registered User

    Jan 4, 2006
    3,453
    Hiya Gill,
    You all sound to be doing geat so far - you will soon establish new routines.
    Let us know how things go.
    Love Helen
     
  3. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    69,537
    Kent
    Hi Gill,

    You`ve all done well today, your mother, your aunt, your Gran and yourself. It`s a really big deal, and the worst is over.

    Full marks to the home for phoning your mother to tell her your gran had been sick. It`s not exactly what she would have wanted to hear, but at least they are communicating.

    Now the time comes for adjustment for you all, and after a very good start, all should be well.

    Keep us posted and all the best.

    Love xx
     
  4. Taffy

    Taffy Registered User

    Apr 15, 2007
    1,314
    Hi Gill,
    Glad everything went to plan, sorry your Gran was sick maybe your right it probably was the fish. Sometimes, I think it is more stressful on the family then the loved one when placement becomes necessary. I hope everything continues to go well. Best Wishes. Taffy.
     
  5. Nell

    Nell Registered User

    Aug 9, 2005
    1,170
    Australia
    Dear Gill,
    Just echoing the other posts . . .
    Sounds like a good beginning and hopefully your Gran will settle in comfortably and quickly feel "at home" in her new surroundings.

    Sometimes, I think it is more stressful on the family then the loved one when placement becomes necessary. I think Taffy is so right in this. I am so glad for your Mum that she has you to support her - you must be such a blessing at all times, but especially now.

    Also, as Sylvia said, it is good to know the home is communicating with you - not only the "good" things but also the "bad" ones. You were not given enough information by the hospital so it must be a comfort to know the home will keep you informed.

    May all continue to go well for all of you.
     
  6. Gill W

    Gill W Registered User

    Jan 31, 2007
    190
    Co. Durham
    Thanks everyone,

    This is unknown territory for all of us, Gran included. I told her yesterday that I was proud of the way she has coped with things, and I am, given the fact that she has lived in the same house for 50 years or more. I can totally understand the upheaval for her.

    Going up to the home in a few minutes, to see how she is. Tempted to bring her here for a cup of tea but wondering if maybe it's a little too soon. Mam and I thought we should maybe leave that sort of thing until she's been there for a while, so that she gets used to it being her home?

    I'll keep posting, to let you know how things go. I know for a fact I'll have questions about things as we're going along. We have agreed to take our lead from the nursing staff as regards some of the problems, but of course there will be times when we need to act quickly and think on the spot.

    Deep breaths, Gill, keep going.......

    Gill
    xx
     
  7. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    69,537
    Kent
    Good luck, Gill. Have an enjoyable visit.

    Love xx
     
  8. Gill W

    Gill W Registered User

    Jan 31, 2007
    190
    Co. Durham
    Well, that's todays laugh sorted.

    Went to see Gran, she was up and dressed and sitting in the tv room with the others. She smiled at me and said she was pleased to see me. She informed me the staff were all lovely, 'they don't shout at you, or swear at you or kick your legs and stuff', (said with a cheeky grin on her face!).

    She then proceeded to tell me that 'don't look now, but that man over there is staring again. He seems to be everywhere I am, always there! He used to work at Durham County Jail, you know, and he was fiddling, and he got the sack and that's how he ended up in here!'. The 'man' is actually a woman, who appears to be further down the road than Gran. She has a very officious look on her face, but speaks when she's spoken to. Poor thing, she's been labelled already, lol.

    I gave her her cake, which she placed on the table next to her. Next minute another lady comes and sits beside the table, and proceeds to slap her hand down on top of the box and try to slide the cake off the table. It did make me chuckle, Gran looked at her and said 'Mind the cake, love, Emma made that for me.'. Actually I'm Gillian, and I didn't make it Gran, Tesco did! lol

    Its cheered me seeing her today, she seems okay. Still disorientated a little, but settling okay.

    Mam's gone in now, and I've advised her to take it easy now. She needs to chill out a little, and stop worrying. She seems to feel she has to make it right for Gran in there, that she has to make Gran like it, so that she settles. That's a job for the staff I think, and Mam can just go in and enjoy her company now. We shall see. Fingers crossed.

    Gill
    xx
     
  9. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    69,537
    Kent
    Gill, it`s brilliant.

    Tell your mother to stop worrying, your gran sounds well settled and if first impressions are anything to go by, your problems are over.

    Love xx
     
  10. Skye

    Skye Registered User

    Aug 29, 2006
    17,000
    SW Scotland
    Gill, I'm so glad your gran has settled. Loved the one about the jailor!

    Your mum will relax in a day or two, she's bound to be anxious until she's sure your gran is comfortable.

    Enjoy your visits, you've done a great job.

    Love,
     

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