Day 10 of no food or fluids ..

Discussion in 'End of life care' started by Confused12, Apr 4, 2017.

  1. Flake

    Flake Registered User

    Mar 9, 2015
    222
    Sending you courage and strength.

    Its the hardest thing ever to watch and wait and knowing there is nothing you can do. My Mum has recently passed after not eating and drinking for what seemed an eternity and I regret I was not with her although I did say goodbye and told her to rest and that we would all be ok. She spoke back to me saying she needed to sleep and rest and that she loved me. She then went to sleep. I looked back and she was so peaceful.

    Thinking of you xxx
     
  2. Confused12

    Confused12 Registered User

    Aug 9, 2012
    42
    Thanks every one for your kind words ️xxx
    My Mum is now on Day 19 of no food or fluids, mouthcare only. Her breathing has been through even differnt stage. She is weak, her face almost unrecognisable and ive got to say, this is one of the worst things I've have ever seen. I can't believe that she is still here, neither can the nurses/carers. I'm ️hoping this will be over soon. x
     
  3. Chemmy

    Chemmy Registered User

    Nov 7, 2011
    7,593
    Yorkshire
    So sorry to hear that you are still struggling through this stage. Hoping she finds peace very soon.

    Best wishes.
     
  4. Raggedrobin

    Raggedrobin Registered User

    Jan 20, 2014
    1,432
    Confused, I just want to say I am with you in your awful struggle with this. i hope she is soon at peace. Kaytee I am sorry for your loss.

    To everyone who has been through this and for those of us who have yet to reach the end, I can think of nothing to say but that I send love and strength. This is a time of great sadness for all of us. Xxx
     
  5. cragmaid

    cragmaid Registered User

    Oct 18, 2010
    7,963
    North East England
    Please give yourself a break every now and then, Go for a cup of coffee, a walk round the block. Go talk to the cleaners or just stand in the sun and breathe in the air.
    I know what it is like, you sit and breathe with her and you hold your breath each time she stops. You say, under your breath...."Please Go".... you say out loud "You can go Mum" and you say to each other " How on earth is she doing it?" and still you watch and wait...
    Waiting here with you.....Love Maureen.x.x
     
  6. Murper1

    Murper1 Registered User

    Jan 1, 2016
    123
    Such a deeply sad and loving conversation, and it has made me feel very emotional. But it is also informative for so many of us wondering what to expect and how to cope with the future inevitable final weeks or days. My heart goes out to you Confused, Kaytee and Flake and everyone going through this right now.
     
  7. kaytee23

    kaytee23 Registered User

    Sep 23, 2013
    6
    Thank you everyone for your kind messages of condolences and thoughts. They have meant a lot xx

    I came back to check on how you were doing confused12 and I couldn't believe it when I read your update... I really feel for you and know how you must be feeling and all the emotions you're going through right now...All I can do is say I'm thinking of you and I really hope you both have release soon xx

    Maureen​, you summed it up perfectly how it is..Flake, sharonk43 and canary sorry for your losses... It's so hard after they've gone isn't it? I hope you're all holding up OK xxx
     
  8. canary

    canary Registered User

    Feb 25, 2014
    9,890
    Female
    South coast
    ((((((hugs))))))) confused
     
  9. LadyA

    LadyA Registered User

    Oct 19, 2009
    13,478
    Ireland
    (((.))) Big hugs, Confused. Please God, your mum will go soon. xx
     
  10. Confused12

    Confused12 Registered User

    Aug 9, 2012
    42
    Hello everyone, sorry for the delay on updating this thread. I am overwhelmed by your support and kind words. Thankyou for thinking of me.

    My Mum passed away yesterday tea time, day 19 of no food or liquid. One breath and she was gone, peacefully as she had been all of the days.

    I have never seen anything like these 19 days but she defied Dementia by going when she wanted to.

    I'll be checking to see how you all are doing, Thankyou so much for being there for me at my difficult time xx
     
  11. Shedrech

    Shedrech Volunteer Moderator

    Dec 15, 2012
    7,740
    Yorkshire
    hello Confused12
    sad news - thank you for letting us know
    I'm glad your mum left this world peacefully with you by her side
    be kind and gentle to yourself
     
  12. canary

    canary Registered User

    Feb 25, 2014
    9,890
    Female
    South coast
    Im so sorry, confused.
    Its a difficult time - bittersweet, both glad that they have gone, yet devastated at the same time. There will be lots to do, so be gentle with yourself.
     
  13. kaytee23

    kaytee23 Registered User

    Sep 23, 2013
    6
    Oh I'm so sorry for the loss of your mum, yet so relieved for you both that your suffering has finally come to an end. Sending a big hug xx
     
  14. cragmaid

    cragmaid Registered User

    Oct 18, 2010
    7,963
    North East England
    Just as we hoped, here and gone in peace, she breathed her last. You are sad and glad, I know. Her suffering has ceased and your pain has intensified. You have done a wonderful thing and I send my sincere condolences to you and all your family.
    Thinking of you especially at this sad time.....Maureen.x.x.
     
  15. kaytee23

    kaytee23 Registered User

    Sep 23, 2013
    6
    P.S. As I was looking for poems online today for my mum's eulogy, I came across this one which I think is lovely... I thought I'd share here for you confused 12 and to all lost loved ones x

    Weep Not For Me

    By an Unknown Author

    Weep not for me though I have gone
    Into that gentle night
    Grieve if you will, but not for long
    Upon my soul’s sweet fight

    I am at peace, my soul’s at rest
    There is no need for tears
    For with your love I was so blessed
    For all those many years

    There is no pain, I suffer not
    The fear is now all gone
    Put now these things out of your thoughts
    In your memory I live on

    Remember not my fight for breath
    Remember not the strife
    Please do not dwell upon my death
    But celebrate my life
     
  16. Confused12

    Confused12 Registered User

    Aug 9, 2012
    42
    You are all such amazing and kind people taking the time to support me though this. Talking point really does help when you are feeling lost. Sending my love and thanks back to you all x
     
  17. LadyA

    LadyA Registered User

    Oct 19, 2009
    13,478
    Ireland
    Blessings and condolences to you, confused. xx
     
  18. HillyBilly

    HillyBilly Registered User

    Dec 21, 2015
    1,948
    Ireland
    So sorry for your loss x
     
  19. Cat27

    Cat27 Volunteer Moderator

    Feb 27, 2015
    10,070
    Merseyside
    I'm so sorry. My thoughts are with you.
     
  20. Jbob

    Jbob Registered User

    Apr 20, 2016
    130
    Thank you Kaytee23 for sharing this. To confused12 and everyone else I am sorry for your loses.
    I am waiting for my Dad to pass. I agree is one of the worst things to see. I am finding it hard to know that he cannot have any food or fluids due to swallowing problems and risk of choking/aspirating. I feel like hexwants a drink but all we can offer is mouthcare. He is very thin has been for months. I'm struggling with thinking we are killing him by with holding food and fluid as it's not necessarily his choice.
    I hope he goes soon as it is horrible to see and is at peace from this cruel disease.
    Take care everyone x
     

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