David's struggle is nearly over

Discussion in 'End of life care' started by Lilian&Dave, May 25, 2015.

  1. Lilian&Dave

    Lilian&Dave Registered User

    Following repeated chest infections this year, David's swallow has deteriorated and food/fluids have been going into lungs causing more infection which resulted in him being taken from care home into hospital a week ago yesterday. They would not give intensive treatment due to quality of life again after so was put on end of life care. On Tuesday last week I asked for him to be taken back to his own room at the care home where they were anxious to give him the best care they could. Well they have looked after him so well (and me giving me all my meals and giving me the empty room next door to David to sleep so that I am on hand ant time night or day) but this morning his breathing is very weak and a pause between each breath and his hands are very cold. He has not been able to speak to me for over two days but after 53 years of marriage it is so hard to see him lingering I just keep telling him how much I love him and to let himself go listening to his favourite music, but I am sure he wants to stay......it is heartbreaking what a viscous disease.
     
  2. Izzy

    Izzy Volunteer Moderator

    Aug 31, 2003
    58,720
    Female
    Dundee
    I'm so sorry tonread your post. It must be incredibly hard to watch David suffer in this way. Wishing him peace and wishing you strength. Take care. x
     
  3. LYN T

    LYN T Registered User

    Aug 30, 2012
    6,967
    Brixham Devon
    Heartbreaking Lilian, just heartbreaking. I'm so sorry. You are doing all the right things for your dear Husband in giving him 'permission' to leave you. Why do some people hold on to life for so long? I've no idea. My OH fought every step of the way, others slip gently away. Whatever way it's hard to watch.

    I'm glad the CH is looking after you both so well-it does help. Thinking of you at this terribly sad time.

    Love,

    Lyn T XX
     
  4. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    68,678
    Kent
    This is where I was 16 months ago Lilian and your post brought it all back.

    I hope Dave is painfree and comfortable. It`s as much as you can ask for.
     
  5. Lilian&Dave

    Lilian&Dave Registered User

    I knew this was the right place for support this morning, thank you for your kind replies. David is totally pain free and so relaxed it doesn't seem possible anything is wrong with him, the dementia is forgotten as he cannot communicate and just looks as though he is in a deep sleep.
     
  6. 2jays

    2jays Registered User

    Jun 4, 2010
    11,481
    West Midlands
    Thinking of you

    Sounds like he is peaceful right now x


    Sent from my iPhone using Talking Point
     
  7. WIFE

    WIFE Registered User

    May 23, 2014
    857
    WEST SUSSEX
    Thinking of you Lililan - such a sad, traumatic time - I did it for six days in January so feel I know something of what you are going through. Hopefully all will be peaceful for you and Dave. Loving thoughts WIFE
     
  8. Canadian Joanne

    Canadian Joanne Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 8, 2005
    15,983
    Toronto, Canada
    I'm glad that David is peaceful but I'm so sorry you're going through such a heartrending time.
     
  9. jan.s

    jan.s Registered User

    Sep 20, 2011
    7,346
    Dear Lilian

    Oh how it brought back my memories from 6 weeks ago. I am glad that Dave is peaceful with no struggles; I found this made things easier for me too.

    I am thinking of you and wishing you strength. Jan x
     
  10. LeedsLass

    LeedsLass Registered User

    Oct 13, 2014
    107
    Essex
    Thinking of you Lilian, my Mum is almost at the same stage and I feel so heartbroken for Dad visiting every day. They've been married for 54 years so I know what you are going through. Take care and stay strong for what lies ahead x


    Sent from my iPad using Talking Point
     
  11. Roses40

    Roses40 Registered User

    Jan 25, 2015
    473
    manchester
    My Mam seemed very peaceful at that time. My thoughts are with you also. Love Rose x
     
  12. Chaplin

    Chaplin Registered User

    May 24, 2015
    12
    Female
    Bristol
    My thoughts are with you both, x
     
  13. Dazmum

    Dazmum Registered User

    Thinking of you Lilian xxxx
     
  14. Mal2

    Mal2 Registered User

    Oct 14, 2014
    2,967
    Enfield
    So sorry to hear your sad news. I wish you both peace, comfort and strength, in your remaining time together. Bless you both.
     
  15. Kjn

    Kjn Registered User

    Jul 27, 2013
    5,835
    Oh Lillian and Dave xx
     
  16. LYN T

    LYN T Registered User

    Aug 30, 2012
    6,967
    Brixham Devon
    I hope that peace is still with you both.

    Thinking of you

    Love,

    Lyn T XX
     
  17. jan.s

    jan.s Registered User

    Sep 20, 2011
    7,346
    Thinking of you both on this new day xx
     
  18. angecmc

    angecmc Registered User

    Dec 25, 2012
    2,109
    hertfordshire
    Thinking of you xx

    Ange
     
  19. WIFE

    WIFE Registered User

    May 23, 2014
    857
    WEST SUSSEX
    In my thoughts Lillian - hope all is as peaceful as can be for you both WIFE
     
  20. LYN T

    LYN T Registered User

    Aug 30, 2012
    6,967
    Brixham Devon
    Still with you Lilian

    Love,

    Lyn T XX
     

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