Just got back from another bad day at Mum's. One of the problems with caring for a dementia patient is that with every least thing that goes wrong there's another panic. Today, Mum kept repeating something vague about one of my aunts calling to insult her and say she's not fit to be a part of the family. Plus, the aunt wants my dad's grave dug up and him shipped to another cemetery (supposedly the cemetery where he's buried isn't nice enough). I can't get Mum to answer a straight question about any of this, so I doubt any is true. I'm not friends with the aunt (don't have her number), so can't call her about this. Mum had a quarrel with Dad's family 60 to 70 years ago...I'm thinking this paranoia may be about the past.
Next, Mum goes into a rant about how lonely she is since Dad passed and how she has "nobody' to care about her and "nothing" to live for. So she threatens to either kill herself or move 4.5 hours away to where she was born, not realising that the people she knew there are dead and gone and everything's changed.
So my name is Nobody, because I'm here to care for Mum 40+ hrs per week. And her lovely house and lovely things on a pretty street in a respectable neighborhood, with enough income to pay for it all, cable TV, long distance telephone service, and blazing fast internet are all Nothing. It makes me grind my teeth, because there are less fortunate people nearby who would feel blessed as to have Mum's Nothing, but Mum can only complain.
To top off a bad day, the house stinks worse than an old cigar, because Mum microwaved something for too long and burnt up her plastic microwave splatter cover. Then she messed with the thermostat and got the house temp stuck at 82 degrees and couldn't get it back down. As I was trying to fix it, she discovered one of her hearing aids doesn't work and started implying that I should call the manufacturer for her. I did put in 3 calls to the heating/air conditioning people with no luck. As I could barely breathe in that house today, I was thankful that the line of thunder storms passing through gave me reason to leave early.
The ingratitude and constant demands are causing me to lose what little empathy I had for Mum. She was not the nicest person to be around and very manipulative before the dementia. I can tell she has just enough of her mind left to use her disabilities against me and everyone who tries to help.
Dad died, and the world must pay.
Next, Mum goes into a rant about how lonely she is since Dad passed and how she has "nobody' to care about her and "nothing" to live for. So she threatens to either kill herself or move 4.5 hours away to where she was born, not realising that the people she knew there are dead and gone and everything's changed.
So my name is Nobody, because I'm here to care for Mum 40+ hrs per week. And her lovely house and lovely things on a pretty street in a respectable neighborhood, with enough income to pay for it all, cable TV, long distance telephone service, and blazing fast internet are all Nothing. It makes me grind my teeth, because there are less fortunate people nearby who would feel blessed as to have Mum's Nothing, but Mum can only complain.
To top off a bad day, the house stinks worse than an old cigar, because Mum microwaved something for too long and burnt up her plastic microwave splatter cover. Then she messed with the thermostat and got the house temp stuck at 82 degrees and couldn't get it back down. As I was trying to fix it, she discovered one of her hearing aids doesn't work and started implying that I should call the manufacturer for her. I did put in 3 calls to the heating/air conditioning people with no luck. As I could barely breathe in that house today, I was thankful that the line of thunder storms passing through gave me reason to leave early.
The ingratitude and constant demands are causing me to lose what little empathy I had for Mum. She was not the nicest person to be around and very manipulative before the dementia. I can tell she has just enough of her mind left to use her disabilities against me and everyone who tries to help.
Dad died, and the world must pay.