Do you know why you feel guilty and are scared to visit in case you cry? No? I do....
it's because you love your Mum and you don't want to lose her. But, you know, you still have the chance to say " I love you" before you have to say " Goodbye".
I visit my poor old Mum now most days....I live nearby and have the time, she doesn't talk much, sits in her chair or lies on her bed dozing. I talk if she wants to chat, I might tell her some news about her great granddaughters...after I explain for the umpteenth time who they are
, I chat to the staff or to the guide dog that lives two rooms down. Ten minutes later I leave to go " messages"....then I cry.
She won't hate you for not going....not nearly as much as
you hate you be kinder to yourself and go to visit or don't go to visit....forgive yourself, but sling the guilt monster out now.