Dad's Staying Put

[Trich]

Hi All,
What a difference a week makes! Dad moved into a new NH last Friday and he was put into the physically disabled unit due to someone totally messing up. Basically my sister saw the room in the dementia wing and that is where we all thought he was going. That room was allocated to another resident and the wing where dad was had no security. I think the move totally upset him and he was violent to a nurse and another resident. The Manager said he would not be able to stay but they would keep him until an alternative NH was located. This upset the whole family as it is such a difficult job to find a good home as you all know. Fortunately over the weekend and during the week dad calmed down and seems to have settled in. The home then said that the person who got the bed in the dementia wing could swop (everyone agreeing) and this has now happened. The move upstairs seems to have gone well. My initial instincts were to get him out of there because they didn't seem able to cope but my sister visited and said we should give it a try as what was the alternative? Maybe I am being cynical but I think the pound signs started popping up when they thought they might lose a resident and although they have managed to sort the situation out I just remember them saying that they couldn't deal with the sort of behaviour that dad exhibits sometimes even in the dementia wing. So what has changed? It has left me feeling uneasy and I hope I am wrong. My sister who initially viewed the room was not happy being told by the person who showed her around "that he did not remember doing so". I can't believe he would forget and so am left with the knowledge that a senior member of staff has lied to cover his error. A small lie perhaps but not a good start. Anyway all quiet on the western front as dad used to say and a large breath out for us all. Now all we have to do is get him new dentures (lost last set at hospital) new hearing aids (always fiddling with them) find the lost watch (gone within 3 days of being in new home! Oh, and try and dissuade dad from getting his bottom teeth pulled out! Large swerve on that one I think and hope that the family are up to getting round it.
Bon weekend to all
TrichX

 

[Skye]

Well done for getting it all sorted out, Trich. It's amazing what can be done when they look like losing a patient!

I hope your dad continues to settle well.

Love,

 

[BeckyJan]

Hope your Dad settles in ok and the things you report are just 'teething troubles'.

It is always hard on the carers as they are the ones who take the brunt of all this.

Best wishes Jan

 

[Nell]

Now all we have to do is get him new dentures (lost last set at hospital) new hearing aids (always fiddling with them) find the lost watch (gone within 3 days of being in new home! Oh, and try and dissuade dad from getting his bottom teeth pulled out! Large swerve on that one I think and hope that the family are up to getting round it.
Bon weekend to all
TrichX

Dear Trich,
I had to smile at this bit of your post! My dear Mum, who has been in a NH for over 2 years now, still needs SO much personal care! As my sisters and I agree, how can one little old lady require so much personal maintenance??!

Like your Dad, the hearing aids are an ongoing problem - not working, not fitting, new ones ordered (at HUGE expense!), new ones uncomfortable, new ones adjusted, still uncomfortable, now considering going back to old ones . . . .

The teeth: dentures lost, dentures replaced, dentures uncomfortable, 2 more visits to get dentures adjusted, regular visit for check and clean, one filling to be done - all finished!!

No!! 2 weeks later, another filling falls out; back to dentist to have it replaced; new filling feels rough . . . we still have to finish this one!!

Glasses have been the only things that have not needed a dozen visits!! Three visits (including initial consultation) were enough for them - than goodness! Of course for a few weeks after they arrived Mum wouldn't wear them because "they aren't my glasses!". . . . .

Combine this with Mum wanting to give away her personal possessions, and then wondering where they are and wanting them back, as well as all the other "bits and pieces" that occupy her mind and - well, exhaustion is putting it mildly!!

All I can suggest is "grit your teeth and take multi vitamins for energy!!"

 

[Margaret W]

Well, sounds just like Mum! Lost top teeth, lost clothes, not secure, wrong room. Seems normal experience.

But she is settled. Hope your dad is soon.

Love

Margaret

 

[Taffy]

Maybe I am being cynical but I think the pound signs started popping up when they thought they might lose a resident and although they have managed to sort the situation out I just remember them saying that they couldn't deal with the sort of behaviour that dad exhibits sometimes even in the dementia wing. So what has changed? It has left me feeling uneasy and I hope I am wrong.

Hello Trich, I don't think your a cynic at all, most of these care facilities are run as businesses with shareholders and it's all about profit. I also hope that your dad settles and you don't have to move him again. I can fully understand you feeling uneasy, hopefully for you all, everything works out well. Take Care. Taffy.