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Dad's Second Anniversary

MaNaAk

Registered User
Jun 19, 2016
4,316
0
Essex
Hello Everyone.

I have made plans for dad's second anniversary tomorrow although I still think about him (admitted to hospital at 10.00 am on the 11th June 2019 and passing away at 1.00 pm the following day). It's very poignant this year because of the house sale which completed on Tuesday. I am looking forward to a nice meal with my friends in dad's favourite restaurant and I will buy some flowers to put in a vase.

MaNaAk

PS: I would like to go back to playing the Violin in dad's old care home.
 

jennifer1967

Registered User
Mar 15, 2020
4,407
0
Southampton
Hello Everyone.

I have made plans for dad's second anniversary tomorrow although I still think about him (admitted to hospital at 10.00 am on the 11th June 2019 and passing away at 1.00 pm the following day). It's very poignant this year because of the house sale which completed on Tuesday. I am looking forward to a nice meal with my friends in dad's favourite restaurant and I will buy some flowers to put in a vase.

MaNaAk

PS: I would like to go back to playing the Violin in dad's old care home.
enjoy your meal and although sad especially now the house has sold, i hope the happy memories make a smile. do your friends have memories of your dad they can share? i expect the residents would enjoy your music making. is it a possibility?
 

MaNaAk

Registered User
Jun 19, 2016
4,316
0
Essex
Thankyou you three and yes I can share memories of dad with my friends as they knew him for thirty-six years. Also the last time I played at dad's old care home I had to hurry and get started to diffuse an argument between resident M (Alz) and resident Mar (in her nineties but does not tolerate nonsense from other residents dementia or not).

MaNaAk
 

MaNaAk

Registered User
Jun 19, 2016
4,316
0
Essex
I just have to tell you all what I've just seen in my communal garden, it was a Brimstone butterfly. Why is this significant? I know some people are sceptical but just after mum's first anniversary and my birthday I saw one on a buddleia near our house. Brimstones are rare in this part of Essex and Clouded Yellows don't come this far in land. I am only a mile from where I used to live and I think this is mum's way of telling me that she's pleased with me.

MaNaAk
 

jennifer1967

Registered User
Mar 15, 2020
4,407
0
Southampton
I just have to tell you all what I've just seen in my communal garden, it was a Brimstone butterfly. Why is this significant? I know some people are sceptical but just after mum's first anniversary and my birthday I saw one on a buddleia near our house. Brimstones are rare in this part of Essex and Clouded Yellows don't come this far in land. I am only a mile from where I used to live and I think this is mum's way of telling me that she's pleased with me.

MaNaAk
thats a lovely thought and you may well be right. of course your mum would be pleased with you. my D-i-L believes in white feathers being a sign of her nan who died of dementia. theyve got to be signs and if they bring you comfort then why not.
 

MaNaAk

Registered User
Jun 19, 2016
4,316
0
Essex
Mum was the same as me when she believed that a certain Red Admiral butterfly that we saw in a graveyard when we were looking for my great grandparents grave just after my nana passed away was nana saying she was at peace. When dad passed away we heard the death rattle three times and my eldest brother and I thought that mum and dad were acknowledging that we were all there. Last year the forget-me-nots were in full flower on dad's anniversary.

MaNaAk
 

jennifer1967

Registered User
Mar 15, 2020
4,407
0
Southampton
Mum was the same as me when she believed that a certain Red Admiral butterfly that we saw in a graveyard when we were looking for my great grandparents grave just after my nana passed away was nana saying she was at peace. When dad passed away we heard the death rattle three times and my eldest brother and I thought that mum and dad were acknowledging that we were all there. Last year the forget-me-nots were in full flower on dad's anniversary.

MaNaAk
they are all signs and are a lovely thought. a nice way to remember people as well. very apt for this time of the year with your dads second anniversary tomorrow. i hope they made you smile as well as a bit sad.
 

lemonbalm

Registered User
May 21, 2018
1,473
0
Mum was the same as me when she believed that a certain Red Admiral butterfly that we saw in a graveyard when we were looking for my great grandparents grave just after my nana passed away was nana saying she was at peace. When dad passed away we heard the death rattle three times and my eldest brother and I thought that mum and dad were acknowledging that we were all there. Last year the forget-me-nots were in full flower on dad's anniversary.

MaNaAk

My Dad is buried in a natural burial site on the South Downs. The Spring after we buried him, I noticed a new flower in our garden, Enchanter's Nightshade, which I'd never seen in the garden before. Then I remembered that it grew all around Dad's grave. It felt as though Dad was reminding me of him. In reality, of course, we'd probably brought seeds back on our shoes but it's a nice way to remember him. Some call it a weed but I call it a wild woodland flower - I can't quite bring myself to pull it out (I always say a quiet apology to Dad if I do)
 

Pepp3r

Registered User
May 22, 2020
78
0
Hi @MaNaAk
I think having a meal with friends tomorrow sounds like a lovely plan, and flowers on a sunny day will be super too. I like the idea of 'signs' and that little bit of mystery they bring.
Last year was the first time I looked after the garden on my own, I pruned it all to with in a inch of its life and crossed my fingers!
Yesterday one of the neighbours said ' you're doing a good job with mum's roses they look lovely! Inside my head I thought ........thanks mum x
 

MaNaAk

Registered User
Jun 19, 2016
4,316
0
Essex
Good morning everyone

I have lovely weather for my dad's anniversary. I felt sad as I went off to sleep last night but I'm okay this morning.

MaNaAk
 

MaNaAk

Registered User
Jun 19, 2016
4,316
0
Essex
Good evening everyone.

I had a good day and lovely meal with friends. The most poignant moment was when I told them that I got upset a couple of days after dad failed his memory test at the GPs and I said to dad "Please don't forget me!" Dad said "MaNaAk I will never forget you" and he never did. Dad passed away three days before Father's Day and on that day (the saddest Father's Day I have ever experienced) I found his Father's Day card and wrote "Dad I will never forget you". I think I nearly brought tears to their eyes as it gives some insight into what it's like when you see your loved one mentally fading away.

Beautiful evening here.

MaNaAk
 

jennifer1967

Registered User
Mar 15, 2020
4,407
0
Southampton
Good evening everyone.

I had a good day and lovely meal with friends. The most poignant moment was when I told them that I got upset a couple of days after dad failed his memory test at the GPs and I said to dad "Please don't forget me!" Dad said "MaNaAk I will never forget you" and he never did. Dad passed away three days before Father's Day and on that day (the saddest Father's Day I have ever experienced) I found his Father's Day card and wrote "Dad I will never forget you". I think I nearly brought tears to their eyes as it gives some insight into what it's like when you see your loved one mentally fading away.

Beautiful evening here.

MaNaAk
oh @MaNaAk that is so sweet, just shows how much he thought of you and you of him. im glad you had a good day.
 

MaNaAk

Registered User
Jun 19, 2016
4,316
0
Essex
oh @MaNaAk that is so sweet, just shows how much he thought of you and you of him. im glad you had a good day.
Thankyou @jennifer1967 .

@jennifer1967, @lemonbalm and @Duggies-girl would probably like to know what I ordered one of dad's favourite dishes Skate And Chips. I then followed this with an ice-cream called Stars And Stripes (this restaurant has ice-creams with intriguing names and one of the best known in this area). Dad never had the ice-creams as he was diabetic and more interested in the prawn cocktail starters.

MaNaAk
 

Duggies-girl

Registered User
Sep 6, 2017
2,544
0
@MaNaAk my dad loved ice cream. I have to laugh but the last time we went down the prom by the river with dads sister, dad had three ice creams. One from the ice cream van on the way in and then one from the little cafe on the prom and then on the way out dad spotted the ice cream van again and said 'shall we have an ice cream' so we all had three ice creams in one afternoon. It was lovely.
 

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