I haven't posted for a while because we were all muddling along as Dad (vascular dementia) has been 'okay' for a couple of months. Mum is his main carer (at home) and we don't live far away so help as much as we possibly can, but this last week, well, I don't know how much longer Mum can cope. Apart from Dad's 'normal' confusion and delusions he is now so depressed that he just won't do anything - we were due to take him out for a bit of a jaunt tomorrow but he says now that he won't go and to be honest he is talking complete nonsense and jibberish. Poor Mum lost her temper with him at the weekend too. He is so down that nothing we do will help and he is accusing Mum (when he recognises her) of doing things to 'hurt' him and he's becoming more suspicious about money and belongings. He says he hates being at home, hates other people (mainly imaginary ones!) and yet he now refuses to do anything he used to enjoy. At least twice a week we were taking him to the beach or for lunch somewhere or to watch the odd football match, but now he's just lost the will to live. He's not going to get better is he? All medical help has been superb and he has a care package in place. Earlier this year he spent a week on an assessment ward, but we took him home because at the time he was lucid enough to just want to escape and come home. Mum's had to give him one of his prescribed anti-anxiety pills for the first time today and he has had the odd sleeping tablet this week because Mum is exhausted with his night time 'episodes' and is exhausted. I keep blanking all this out and then when I think about it all end up in floods of tears. This has got to be the cruellest illness; to watch my darling Dad just descend into hell. Sorry, got to stop now, just had to let it out.