dads 'prison'


Registered User
Oct 26, 2003
haven't written for a while so hi everyone.

dad has finally settled in his home though yesterday he complained the prison warders won't give him a key : ) though he wasn't too distressed.

i went to bring him on a home visit, we manage to bring him home 2 or 3 times a week and as we leave he always asks where are his wages and we say 'they;ve been paid straight into the bank' that keeps him happy for about an hour, then he'll ask again 'are we going to collect my money' so he must still think its his work place.

yesterday he'd put 2 pairs of trousers on, he does that often and when i mentioned it he said 'there both black' which seemed to please him : )

after so much initial upset with placing dad in a home i;d like to tell all relatives feeling sad and guilty that it gets so much better. i use to cry everytime i left him there but now he seems to accept the situation and even has a big smile for everyone when we take him back, and no longer asks us not to leave him.

we try to keep a sense of humour and enjoy dads company while he's still able to come home. i had to smile when he said between talking complete jibberish 'theres some really crazy people in here' and when he put the dogs food in the dustpan and mum dyed his grey hair brown ...which he always use to do...and he went back to the care home telling the young carers how handsome he he's 83. so between his confused times its lovely to see the old dad shine through while he still can,

is this crazy or what, my sisters getting married in august, the biggest wedding of the year, all posh and becks style : ) and she's getting dad to walk her down the aisle, do you think he can do this, : ) i hope so, but my brothers on standby just in case.

as sad as it is i'll always cherish these times with dad, and i hope people are happy to hear relatives can sometimes feel settled in carehomes in the end though i know were blessed to be able to still bring dad home right now to visit his beloved old english sheepdog monty, and to have a few hours kip in his own bed, and not everyones so lucky. as mum is to disabled to visit the home these times are a godsend.

love to all


Registered User
Jan 31, 2004
near London
It is good to hear positive stories like this.

Most often I have found that new people coming to Jan's home are not scared or hugely upset - more, they just wonder why they are there, and for how long.

They may ask everyone when the next bus comes, or when they can go home, or are concerned they can't afford to pay for the room they now live in.

I have found they use lots of humour in the way they adapt, and it is as if they make a joke of it that they want to share.

In so many ways they are probably a whole lot less upset than we, their families, are.

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