Dad's much worse.....

Discussion in 'ARCHIVE FORUM: Support discussions' started by Peapod, Jun 12, 2008.

  1. Peapod

    Peapod Registered User

    May 19, 2007
    55
    Pembrokeshire
    :( I haven't posted for a while, but I'm just so sad for my father that I feel I have to 'talk'.
    Dad was diagnosed with vascular dementia 2 years ago after being 'strange' for a couple of years previous to that.
    Two weeks ago he was admitted to the EMI ward of the local hospital for an open-ended assessment - and he basically hates his life even more.
    Before he went in he was suffering from profound hallucinations and delusions, severe agitation, incoherent speech, wakeful nights and depression - he hated his lovely home and the final straw came when he showed the first signs of aggression to my mother (his main carer).
    He now is quite aggressive to the (lovely) staff at the unit, is on 'food watch' to monitor his poor eating and drinking and thinks we're taking him home every time we visit - and he cries too.
    We KNOW he can't be anywhere else at the moment, but he has turned into a very old, stooped, shuffling old man before our eyes and his 'symptoms' match the 'last' stages.
    How do you live through this pain? Could he really be in the final stages? Sorry, I'm rambling now, but had to get this guilt/pain off my chest.
     
  2. Lynne

    Lynne Registered User

    Jun 3, 2005
    3,433
    Suffolk,England
    Is your Dad on any sort of anti-psychotic medication, or having an assessment to see what can be tried to try to improve his state of mind?

    It's awful being so helpless in the face of confusion & distress, even when we know our loved one is in the only place they can be.

    {{{{Hugs}}}}
     
  3. Peapod

    Peapod Registered User

    May 19, 2007
    55
    Pembrokeshire
    Thanks for the hugs Lynne :)
    No, Dad hasn't started any medication yet; the doctor at the unit wants to observe the full range of his symptoms - we've got a meeting with her next week, so hopefully something will be suggested then.
    XXXX
     
  4. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    69,577
    Kent
    Oh Dear Peapod

    I do know what you are suffering as we have recently had a similar experience with my husband.

    His progression and symptoms don`t seem as severe as your father`s but even so it affected us all very badly.

    My husband was in hospital for 19 days and is now home. I do hope your father`s behaviours are treatable and he too will be well enough to return home before very long.

    Love xx
     
  5. Peapod

    Peapod Registered User

    May 19, 2007
    55
    Pembrokeshire
    Thanks Grannie - your husband is the same age as my Mum and Dad, and the only saving grace is that Mum knows he is safe and that she can actually sleep at night too - all the doctors we've seen have said that she coped with him at home much longer than many could have (She's 5 foot and 7 stone of pure love and determination, bless her!).
    Best wishes XXXXX
     
  6. Quack

    Quack Registered User

    Mar 25, 2008
    17
    Yorkshire
    Hugs

    Hi Peapod

    Sorry to hear your Dad's condition has worsened. I've nothing new to say but to pass on support and hope that your Dad's condition stabilises and hope your mum can get some rest in the meantime. Let the professionals take the strain for a while.

    Hope things settle down for you all soon.

    Quack
     
  7. Peapod

    Peapod Registered User

    May 19, 2007
    55
    Pembrokeshire
    Thanks Quack - I wish there was a 'thankyou' button on here - it really does help to know that you're not alone!
     

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