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Dads in hospital very ill possibly eol


Registered User
May 12, 2017
You have my full sympathy @deepetshopboy for what you & your dad are going through. It must be very hard for you after all those years looking after & protecting your dad to have to stand back & put his care into the hands of others. I hope the best place is found for him very soon.
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Registered User
Jun 19, 2016
Don't forget that no matter where they place him you are still his daughter and carer but you have to let others look after him now as well? At dad's last memory test the consultant said that he recommended residential care and that I need to go back to being his daughter.




Registered User
Sep 6, 2017
@deepetshopboy your dad has been in hospital now for over a month, I hope that you are trying to take care of yourself a bit during this awful time. I know how stressful it is and I worry that you seem to be doing everything on your own. I hope that you have someone that you can talk to even if it is just a good friend.

I see that you have not posted since Wednesday morning, I hope things are more settled now and that they have sorted something out for your dad.

You really have done all and everything in your dads best interests and he would be proud of you if only he realised.


Registered User
Mar 1, 2013
lmost a week since Dee last posted- hope everything is okay.

Appreciate she doesnt have to tell us but......

Wont post again, just hope she comes back soon


New member
Mar 10, 2022
Hi not sure were to post
But looking for some advice my dad is in hospital admitted via care home Friday march 25 via ambulance i was extremely concerned about him
Flu /chest infection and dehydrated fully mobile was getting over the flu but developed delruim which was bad hyperactive delruim which resulted in aggressive behaviour in there hitting restlessness pulling out canulas roaming around the wards the hospital is a nightmare thats a whole different story

intially he had 1.1 via agency then that was withdrawn and secruity guards planted outside the side room anyway intermittent days he sometimes had a mental health nurse he was gradually getting out of the woods getting better and settling down hes only 74 yrs old fully mobile the hospital wanted him out but as he still had delruim and i was pestering the hospital for a assesment as he needed meds reviewed and urgent help from psychiatrist also care home deceided it would be the perfect time to say they couldn’t meet hes needs he couldn’t be sent out /plus extreme delruim anyway despite me saying my dad needed a 1.1 they constantly provided a secruity guard who didn’t even sit with him instead planted outside the ward often on phones and not looking after him i was complaining constantly saying you need to stay with him so subsequently dad had a fall !! Resulting in broken hip wensday and now on Saturday had a operation i was warned it could be bad as was told if he survived the operation the complications could set and even if not i knew it wil would be a long road ahead with pysio and walking

i got to the hospital at 3 pm and dad was back on the ward chocking gurgling and mumbling i knew something was wrong he was vomiting i got the dr eventually and he called the register who told me she thought was aspirating dad bascially was at deaths door they stabilised him but hes since sunday not ate or drunk ( small sips of water ) very drowsy and they think hes got aspiration pneumonia! On top of that has been put on catheter and hes penis is black very sore swollen and bruised hes agaited in between waking up and ive told them several times today about my concerns and i waited all day to see the urologist to be told not coming maybe tomorrow they have him on drip fliud /oxygen which hes pulled both out /antibiotics/parectumol
Hes been dosed up pulled about etc its cery upsetting and disturbing to watch i feel helpless
hes temperature is high and i dont think hes going come back from this ☹️Hes in a open ward they will not allow me to close the curtains and theres a lot of relatives x 3 sets of patient’s family visiting and sat staring i get no privacy in this very upsetting time i dont know what is next if hes going pull through it every day i have to chase nurses or drs about trying to get answers as the communication is extremely bad and some care assistants nurses lack basic empathy or understanding are rude and quite ignorant i ask questions and many times dont answer !! I barely see the nurse assigned to my dad i think hes being neglected and i have to keep fighting for basic things like clean sheets or bigger things like pain relief like i said its a whole different story and a nightmare up there
can anyone advise me what to expect or been through similar if things escalated ie medically what do i need to ask for
The nurse was talking about a feeding tube tonight 😒💔
There is an organisation called PALS where you can make a complaint if you’re not satisfied with your dads treatment or feel you’re getting no information.


Volunteer Moderator
Aug 31, 2003
There is an organisation called PALS where you can make a complaint if you’re not satisfied with your dads treatment or feel you’re getting no information.

Here’s the link that will give people more information about PALS -



Registered User
Feb 25, 2014
South coast
Yes, I'm worried about Dee too
I keep remembering this post of hers
He’s getting’ better ‘ the bloods are still showing pneumonia but dr said this morning it will always be there
He’s eating better n gained weight no drips still on antibiotics
But hospital again want him out
What i don’t understand is and its a complicated
Is they said they might not treat if further episodes of pneumonia then says now hes pallative he needs pallative care hes only got 1.2 6 months left ? I don’t understand they want him home /nursing home
They also want to discharge about ‘ no care ‘ie if he became ill in nursing home /home they would not call the ambulance no treatment ie i said if he breaks he leg your saying your putting on hes records no treatment hes saying will have no benefit to it i can’t understand still dont i had a conversation last wk with different dr about the pneumonia n treatment being withdrawn but didn’t extend to the future? How can he be left woth broken leg in a nursing home or home ( for example) n not be treated?
Why is the pallative care team going be involved i find it frustrating i can’t understand what the dr was saying why would he be pallative