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Dad's Funeral Went Well

MaNaAk

Registered User
Jun 19, 2016
1,642
Essex
Thankyou to everyone who was sending me good wishes for today. Dad got the funeral that he asked for and he even got good weather. I did feel upset when I saw the coffin as it brought it all home however it was worse yesterday when I remembered that I was planning to take him out for Father's Day. There were odd moments from invisibles but they were there together and for me and dad. I was prepared to give them something to eat after the funeral but one of them went back home to allow the other to come back with me but he went back to his studio. He did however come in the evening but he left when I was about to eat saying that he had already eaten! What I mean to say is don't expect much from invisibles my youngest invisible gave me a lift to the hospital but didn't come in with me!

Anyway so now I am at the end of my journey but I will still be posting on here with my expertise. I want to say that if you are waiting for a diagnosis for a loved one I felt swamped at the beginning but once I got dad to the doctor I felt some sort of relief. The diagnosis was depressing for both of us but when dad was put on donepezil I noticed him getting back to his old self. I nursed him through to severe Alzheimers as best I could until I put him into the wonderful care home. He had a wonderful year at the home meeting new friends and doing things that he hadn't done for years and best of all I was able to take him out.

The saddest moments before diagnosis were the following:

1 Me getting very upset and saying to dad I don't want you to forget me and he said I won't.

2 Him saying I want you to remember the person I was.

The best moments were trying to retain his memory by taking him out and doing things together. If I can get through this you will.

MaNaAk
 

Palerider

Registered User
Aug 9, 2015
1,425
North West
Thankyou to everyone who was sending me good wishes for today. Dad got the funeral that he asked for and he even got good weather. I did feel upset when I saw the coffin as it brought it all home however it was worse yesterday when I remembered that I was planning to take him out for Father's Day. There were odd moments from invisibles but they were there together and for me and dad. I was prepared to give them something to eat after the funeral but one of them went back home to allow the other to come back with me but he went back to his studio. He did however come in the evening but he left when I was about to eat saying that he had already eaten! What I mean to say is don't expect much from invisibles my youngest invisible gave me a lift to the hospital but didn't come in with me!

Anyway so now I am at the end of my journey but I will still be posting on here with my expertise. I want to say that if you are waiting for a diagnosis for a loved one I felt swamped at the beginning but once I got dad to the doctor I felt some sort of relief. The diagnosis was depressing for both of us but when dad was put on donepezil I noticed him getting back to his old self. I nursed him through to severe Alzheimers as best I could until I put him into the wonderful care home. He had a wonderful year at the home meeting new friends and doing things that he hadn't done for years and best of all I was able to take him out.

The saddest moments before diagnosis were the following:

1 Me getting very upset and saying to dad I don't want you to forget me and he said I won't.

2 Him saying I want you to remember the person I was.

The best moments were trying to retain his memory by taking him out and doing things together. If I can get through this you will.

MaNaAk
Hi MaNaAk

Its good your dad had a good send off. I haven't really known you on here, but I just want to pass on my condolences to you. I hope you find closure and some peace in your memories and thoughts
 

Just me

Registered User
Nov 17, 2013
106
I just want to say I’m sorry to hear about your Dad, MaNaAk. I can imagine you’re feelings are all over the place at the moment.
I’ve come in at the end of your journey as I don’t log in often but wish you all the best for the next part of your journey x
 

canary

Registered User
Feb 25, 2014
11,602
South coast
I was thinking about you yesterday and hoping it had all gone as well as it could

My invisible came to the funeral, but I dont expect to see him again now.
Be gentle with yourself now
xx
 

jugglingmum

Registered User
Jan 5, 2014
5,606
Chester
I'm glad all went well, whatever your invisibles did you know in your heart you did everything for your dad.

Such a lovely description of the home and his final year.

Look after yourself, enjoy your music and keep posting.
 

MaNaAk

Registered User
Jun 19, 2016
1,642
Essex
Thankyou all so much. I am starting to get on with things and now it's to the solicitors. I will still keep my invisibles informed but I know not to entirely rely on them. I will send the same emails to the two of them so they can't turn around and say I didn't have their permission like one of them did with the care home. I will keep in touch with the care home as I feel I have made friends there and they have been wonderful.

One last thing dad called the manageress the policeman whenever she came to sort out an argument and as I may have mentioned before he was involved in quite a few arguments so does that make my darling dad a criminal. I still have stories for the Lighter Side Of Alzheimers!

MaNaAk
 

jugglingmum

Registered User
Jan 5, 2014
5,606
Chester
One last thing dad called the manageress the policeman whenever she came to sort out an argument and as I may have mentioned before he was involved in quite a few arguments so does that make my darling dad a criminal. I still have stories for the Lighter Side Of Alzheimers!
that's the sort of thing my mum would say.
 

MaNaAk

Registered User
Jun 19, 2016
1,642
Essex
On a sadder note I found his Father's Day card today and after shedding a few tears I decided to write in it and put it with the sympathy cards.

MaNaAk
 

canary

Registered User
Feb 25, 2014
11,602
South coast
On a sadder note I found his Father's Day card today and after shedding a few tears I decided to write in it and put it with the sympathy cards.
What a good idea - he is still your dad, even though he is no longer here.

Finding it must have caused a stab to the heart, though.
 

MaNaAk

Registered User
Jun 19, 2016
1,642
Essex
Yes! It was Canary and at some stage I will come across the present as. I had a few reprints of old photos made and I was going to present them in one of his photo albums to help him remember the family but it wasn't to be. As my brother said it is a week a go today that dad died. I still don't believe it but he is now at peace.

MaNaAk
 

MaNaAk

Registered User
Jun 19, 2016
1,642
Essex
Thankyou Cazzita. I'm trying to move on but I'm getting quite a few cards from my Piano and Violin pupils some of them were quite upset to hear about dad because he used to greet them at the door or open the music room door by mistake. This week has been a bit of a blur.

MaNaAk