Dad's Funeral Went Well

Discussion in 'I care for a person with dementia' started by MaNaAk, Jun 17, 2019.

  1. MaNaAk

    MaNaAk Registered User

    Jun 19, 2016
    1,203
    Essex
    Thankyou to everyone who was sending me good wishes for today. Dad got the funeral that he asked for and he even got good weather. I did feel upset when I saw the coffin as it brought it all home however it was worse yesterday when I remembered that I was planning to take him out for Father's Day. There were odd moments from invisibles but they were there together and for me and dad. I was prepared to give them something to eat after the funeral but one of them went back home to allow the other to come back with me but he went back to his studio. He did however come in the evening but he left when I was about to eat saying that he had already eaten! What I mean to say is don't expect much from invisibles my youngest invisible gave me a lift to the hospital but didn't come in with me!

    Anyway so now I am at the end of my journey but I will still be posting on here with my expertise. I want to say that if you are waiting for a diagnosis for a loved one I felt swamped at the beginning but once I got dad to the doctor I felt some sort of relief. The diagnosis was depressing for both of us but when dad was put on donepezil I noticed him getting back to his old self. I nursed him through to severe Alzheimers as best I could until I put him into the wonderful care home. He had a wonderful year at the home meeting new friends and doing things that he hadn't done for years and best of all I was able to take him out.

    The saddest moments before diagnosis were the following:

    1 Me getting very upset and saying to dad I don't want you to forget me and he said I won't.

    2 Him saying I want you to remember the person I was.

    The best moments were trying to retain his memory by taking him out and doing things together. If I can get through this you will.

    MaNaAk
     
  2. Palerider

    Palerider Registered User

    Aug 9, 2015
    308
    Male
    North West
    Hi MaNaAk

    Its good your dad had a good send off. I haven't really known you on here, but I just want to pass on my condolences to you. I hope you find closure and some peace in your memories and thoughts
     
  3. Just me

    Just me Registered User

    Nov 17, 2013
    69
    I just want to say I’m sorry to hear about your Dad, MaNaAk. I can imagine you’re feelings are all over the place at the moment.
    I’ve come in at the end of your journey as I don’t log in often but wish you all the best for the next part of your journey x
     
  4. Banjomansmate

    Banjomansmate Registered User

    Jan 13, 2019
    834
    Female
    Dorset
    Glad it went as well as can be expected, these days are always difficult.

    C.
     
  5. canary

    canary Registered User

    Feb 25, 2014
    9,629
    Female
    South coast
    I was thinking about you yesterday and hoping it had all gone as well as it could

    My invisible came to the funeral, but I dont expect to see him again now.
    Be gentle with yourself now
    xx
     
  6. jugglingmum

    jugglingmum Registered User

    Jan 5, 2014
    4,980
    Female
    Chester
    I'm glad all went well, whatever your invisibles did you know in your heart you did everything for your dad.

    Such a lovely description of the home and his final year.

    Look after yourself, enjoy your music and keep posting.
     
  7. MaNaAk

    MaNaAk Registered User

    Jun 19, 2016
    1,203
    Essex
    Thankyou all so much. I am starting to get on with things and now it's to the solicitors. I will still keep my invisibles informed but I know not to entirely rely on them. I will send the same emails to the two of them so they can't turn around and say I didn't have their permission like one of them did with the care home. I will keep in touch with the care home as I feel I have made friends there and they have been wonderful.

    One last thing dad called the manageress the policeman whenever she came to sort out an argument and as I may have mentioned before he was involved in quite a few arguments so does that make my darling dad a criminal. I still have stories for the Lighter Side Of Alzheimers!

    MaNaAk
     
  8. jugglingmum

    jugglingmum Registered User

    Jan 5, 2014
    4,980
    Female
    Chester
    that's the sort of thing my mum would say.
     
  9. MaNaAk

    MaNaAk Registered User

    Jun 19, 2016
    1,203
    Essex
    On a sadder note I found his Father's Day card today and after shedding a few tears I decided to write in it and put it with the sympathy cards.

    MaNaAk
     
  10. canary

    canary Registered User

    Feb 25, 2014
    9,629
    Female
    South coast
    What a good idea - he is still your dad, even though he is no longer here.

    Finding it must have caused a stab to the heart, though.
     
  11. MaNaAk

    MaNaAk Registered User

    Jun 19, 2016
    1,203
    Essex
    Yes! It was Canary and at some stage I will come across the present as. I had a few reprints of old photos made and I was going to present them in one of his photo albums to help him remember the family but it wasn't to be. As my brother said it is a week a go today that dad died. I still don't believe it but he is now at peace.

    MaNaAk
     
  12. Cazzita

    Cazzita Registered User

    May 12, 2018
    368
    Condolences x
     
  13. MaNaAk

    MaNaAk Registered User

    Jun 19, 2016
    1,203
    Essex
    Thankyou Cazzita. I'm trying to move on but I'm getting quite a few cards from my Piano and Violin pupils some of them were quite upset to hear about dad because he used to greet them at the door or open the music room door by mistake. This week has been a bit of a blur.

    MaNaAk
     

Share This Page

  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.
  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.