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Dad's first anniversary

Discussion in 'After dementia — dealing with loss' started by molly11, Apr 29, 2015.

  1. molly11

    molly11 Registered User

    Jan 24, 2011
    75
    Lancashire
    It will be 1 year that my Dad died on the 7th of May. I'm shocked that it's already a year tbh. In some ways, it seems like yesterday that I was called to his bedside, another seems like another life, forever ago.
    I can't believe I've lived through 12 months without my Dad. He's missed so much that I know he wanted to live through.
    Love and miss you Daddy. Xx


    Sent from my iPhone using Talking Point
     
  2. janey106

    janey106 Registered User

    Dec 10, 2013
    139

    A sad day but I hope you will be able to celebrate all the good stuff too. Like Pooh says to Piglet, 'be brave little one'. Thinking of you.
    Janey
     
  3. WIFE

    WIFE Registered User

    May 23, 2014
    857
    WEST SUSSEX
    Loving thoughts Molly - the first anniversary - somehow always the hardest. Hopefully your memories of your Father will be happy ones from now on. WIFE
     
  4. Saffie

    Saffie Registered User

    Mar 26, 2011
    22,497
    Female
    Near Southampton
    They say that time flies when you're having fun but I think the same applies when you're having anything but.
    Grief doesn't depend on days, weeks and months and time passing seems to take us further away from our loved ones physically but not emotionally.
    Your Dad still lives in your memories and in your heart.

    Perhaps you can do something special or meaningful on May 7th that will somehow bring your Dad closer. It might be just paying his favourite music and looking through old photograph albums.
    It will no doubt cause tears to flow but that's ok, he was your Dad.
    Be glad though, that he is now free from suffering. x
     
  5. LYN T

    LYN T Registered User

    Aug 30, 2012
    6,968
    Brixham Devon
    Molly, such a sad anniversary for you. I hope you will remember your Dad as he was before the illness crept up on him. Of course, you will be longing for him to still be with you but he always will be; not physically, but emotionally and in your heart.

    Love to you

    Lyn T
     
  6. Sasky

    Sasky Registered User

    Jan 29, 2014
    103
    Ashford, Kent
    Dear Molly my heart goes out to you and I will most definitely be thinking of you on the 7 May x
     
  7. molly11

    molly11 Registered User

    Jan 24, 2011
    75
    Lancashire
    Thankyou everyone for your replies. X


    Sent from my iPhone using Talking Point
     
  8. molly11

    molly11 Registered User

    Jan 24, 2011
    75
    Lancashire
    Thankyou Sasky. I think I might explode!! Worst part is no "place" to go for my Father, because he was cremated. I totally agree with my mother's decision of cremation but it's so hard that there isn't a grave.,
    I can't believe it's been one whole year. People won't remember, I know but it will anger and upset me. That's what I hate most about my Dad dying. He was remarkable. A truly kind, considerate, hardworking man. Now he's dead. What was the point if it all coz no-one remembers his death. That date is imprinted on my mind, as all this week will be when the care home rang to say he hadn't drank or eaten for 5 days. It seems like yesterday to me. X


    Sent from my iPhone using Talking Point
     
  9. WIFE

    WIFE Registered User

    May 23, 2014
    857
    WEST SUSSEX
    Molly - how I empathise with your feelings but the hard lesson to learn is that we are not the only ones suffering the sad memories, grief and bereavement. Since our loved ones died so many other people and families have been affected by death, illness or bad luck. I do not feel it is that everyone else has forgotten our loved ones but have probably encountered their own situations and sadness in the intervening passage of time so we are not at the forefront of their minds. In a perfect life one hopes it would not be like this but take comfort from the fact that we here on TP understand and share with you the sad anniversary of your dear Father. As to "no place" to go to - find that extra special photograph and make that "your place". That is what I do - I have photographs of my husband all over the house - some young and some of him when he was ailing - they make me cry, they make me smile but above all they keep him with me. I will be thinking of you with loving thoughts. WIFE
     
  10. Dustycat

    Dustycat Registered User

    Jul 14, 2014
    220
    North East
    It's almost a year since my mam died. It's been a quick year partly due to caring for my dad who has Alzheimers but undoubtedly the hardest year of my life. People say it gets easier when you have 'done a year' and had the first of everything. I doubt it will but perhaps it will be easier to accept. My mam was cremated and we had a plaque put up in the garden of remembrance at the crem. Thinking of you. Xx
     
  11. Sasky

    Sasky Registered User

    Jan 29, 2014
    103
    Ashford, Kent
    Dear Molly, like Wife I have various photos of my Mum in the house and I also had a Rose named after my darling Mum which I planted in a large pot in the garden. I am planning to have a plaque made to put with the rose on the anniversary of when I lost her in November. Yes like you I am dreading the first anniversary and I will be thinking of you on Thursday. You are not alone here on TP we are with you and know exactly how you feel.
    Sending you a hug and love xx
     
  12. Sasky

    Sasky Registered User

    Jan 29, 2014
    103
    Ashford, Kent
    And yes dusty cat I can relate to your comment about it being the hardest year of your life, for me it's 5 1/2 months but it has been the worst time in my life and continues to be so. Thank god for TP
     

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