Dads Fall

[Ladywriter1968]

Hi Everyone,

Dad fell at the care home again last week and broke his hip. A few years ago he had broken hip the other side and had he had it fixed. He is in intensive care unit ward for recovering patients after operations, he cant walk or talk any more. Just the odd word. They gave him an epidural rather then sedation for the operation.

He is 84 years old now. Also has heart disease, lower back spinal trouble, along with other health issues as well.

The hospital said his blood pressure and body temperature is very low, he covered in blankets. He has a heat thing on underneath his bed to keep him warm.

I question is it fair for him to continue with all this suffering, he must be in tremendous pain. Plus he cant even communicate his pain either. He is in later stages of Alzheimer's and his teeth are blackened now. He was not ware of what the doctors were doing to him when taking his blood pressure and examine him either. Its like life in reversal of the baby years again. When you have no clue whats going on or why. Its just so awful.

I just feel confused and fed up at times. I am an only child so have no siblings to turn to. or talk to about this illness he has. My Mum passed away when I was a child myself so I didn't have that connection long with her. No one around now knew my Mum so its not like I cant talk to them about her ways, what she was like even. They cant understand as they never knew her. I have an unsupportive cousin who does not really care.

My own health has suffered due to everything. I have an ulcer in my tummy and lower back pain of which a few weeks ago I could not hardly walk with. But I struggled through the pain with exercise and willpower. Dads an hour and half away by public transport.

My husband works nights and has to sleep day times and has a lot of pressure in his job now. I am not working due to my health. We just about manage financially.

I just wanted to say how I feel really.

 

[Oxy]

Just to say my thoughts are with you. I do hope that your dad has a good recovery from this ordeal. I also hope that the staff have ways of telling when he is in pain. You liken his state to an infant-doctors can detect when something is wrong there too but easier I imagine.
Wishing him a pain free time and you much strength - it is desperately hard when there is no one to turn to. Use this forum for advice and support as much as possible-I hope someone with similar experience will be able to give you better insight. I don't have experience of this far into journey. Just wanted to show my empathy for your situation. I'm also lone carer.

 

[Quilty]

You have many here who understand

Ladywriter you have many friends here on TP to support you through this difficult time. We understand in a way no-one else can. I hope this helps even a little. My thoughts are with you today.

 

[emwmarine]

If you have LPA then you can talk to the Doctors openly and honestly about how much intervention you want there to be - acting on your Dad's behalf. I am sure that the Doctors would welcome such a discussion.

Even if you haven't got LPA then the Doctors would take account of your views.

 

[halojones]

You poor thing, what a sad and difficult time... It sounds as though your dad is being kept as comfortable as possible, but it must be awful for you to see him in such a bad way...After losing your mum, and now your dad you must be feeling very emotional and bereft..I would encourage you to get some counselling, it really helps to get your emotions out and be listened to...I have 8 sessions from the carers centre with relate(free) and its good to talk it all out, and i also go to a local women's centre drop in, it helps just to be with others, could you go to one in your area?.. Is your stomach ulcer due to the hpylori,? my dad had a stomach ulcer and was always in pain, again you have my sympathy, you have a lot of pain and sadness to deal with,..A big hug to you, and your dad..xxx

 

[Witzend]

Der Ladywriter, is your poor dad being given any pain relief? I would have thought he should be after a broken hip, whether he is able to communicate or not, and maybe especially if he is not. I think I would make a bit of a nuisance of myself on this, and insist that he is given enough. Thinking of you both, x.

 

[Ladywriter1968]

tum ulcer answer

You poor thing, what a sad and difficult time... It sounds as though your dad is being kept as comfortable as possible, but it must be awful for you to see him in such a bad way...After losing your mum, and now your dad you must be feeling very emotional and bereft..I would encourage you to get some counselling, it really helps to get your emotions out and be listened to...I have 8 sessions from the carers centre with relate(free) and its good to talk it all out, and i also go to a local women's centre drop in, it helps just to be with others, could you go to one in your area?.. Is your stomach ulcer due to the hpylori,? my dad had a stomach ulcer and was always in pain, again you have my sympathy, you have a lot of pain and sadness to deal with,..A big hug to you, and your dad..xxx

Yes it is, helicobacter pylori. I know how he feels. I had 3 lots of antibiotics to rid it, and its not gone, the gp said its a very hard thing to get rid of and can take months. some days I am fine and others I have severe fullness and indigestion up to my arm pits as it were. Tummy pains as well. certain foods are trigger points as well as to what I have found and these are.
High fat foods, kentucky fried chicken, egg mayo, salad dressings, spicy foods can be to, things heavy in creams, a big fat lovely cream cake a is no no. ice cream is fine providing only have a little. foods high in fats can start up the gas in the tummy again. Its best to only eat what he needs in small amounts. We have all overeaten at some point, this is a no no for this ulcer. Eating smaller amounts I have found seems to reduce the gas. Ant accid tabs I find help and IBS tabs to. if he gets diarhoea which I do then meds to slow it down inside the tummy. If he overeats on anything, he will suffer for 2 or 3 days after that. Speak from own experience. It learned me moderation now. Hope this info helps.

 

[Ladywriter1968]

Thanks for all your replies

Thanks for all your replies. I find talking on here helps rather then therapy, I have had therapy years ago for depression actually, and even my own gp surgery has a therapist there of whom I saw ages ago. but have found in the end you have to help yourself and sort out stuff in your own head.

The only family that is left is an 86 year old uncle and a horrible cousin. The rest of them are off springs of off springs and have not seen in years. I always hated being an only child but thats the way it is and I cant change it.

My parents were from the older generation. They were born around 1928-1930. Most of my friends parents were born in the 1940's. Mum didnt have me until she was 40. I am nearer to the age of my 2nd cousins of about 3yr apart and my 1st cousins are like 20yrs older then me. As Dad had 12 siblings and he was the youngest.

I have heard that the 50's ad 60's were the best times to be around for the music changes. But I was born late 60's.