Dads Challenging Behaviour and Care Home want him out :(

Discussion in 'Welcome and how to use Dementia Talking Point' started by TCManchester, Nov 11, 2019.

  1. TCManchester

    TCManchester Registered User

    Aug 24, 2016
    3
    Has anyone else had the terrible experience of the Care Home phoning the Police out?? Normally I visit on a Fri but didn't this week, I got a phone call on Sat Morn to inform me that the police had been called out on Fri Night. To say I was mortified is an understatement, I asked what time this was and it was only 7.45pm, so I am still furious that they have done this and not phoned me instead. Dads behaviour is growing increasing worrying at night where he can and does last out, but I feel that the Home are not managing it correctly. I have had him re-assessed and I am desperately trying to find a new suitable place EMI or Challenging Behaviour, but whilst I am doing this I am now petrified they will phone the Police each time now, and they will be forced to removed him and section him ..... I am literally at my wits end today dealing with Social Services / Phoning other Homes, and trying to do my job which I am struggling with today (not to mention siblings who are a nightmare!!) ... Has anyone else had this .... Is there light at the end of the tunnel somewhere ?? xx
     
  2. Bunpoots

    Bunpoots Registered User

    Apr 1, 2016
    3,352
    Nottinghamshire
    Hello @ TCManchester

    I haven't quite had that experience, my dad was sectioned in hospital not because he was violent but to be able to legally detain him while a safe place (carehome) was found to keep him safe while he was assessed to find the best place for him to live and be cared for safely.

    Ironically, when he got to the carehome he started throwing things at the carers and other residents. Fortunately they knew how to deal with this and there was never any question of him leaving.

    It sounds as though the home your dad is in is not the right one for him and hopefully you can find somewhere suitable quickly but I found that the sectioning was not terrible - dad had no idea he had been sectioned.
    From what I've read here the police are used to dealing with people with dementia and do it kindly.

    As for the nightmare siblings - I know all about those!!
     
  3. nellbelles

    nellbelles Volunteer Host

    Nov 6, 2008
    8,467
    leicester
    Hello @TCManchester
    Has your Dad access to the local mental health team, a CPN and maybe a psychiatrist who could help with appropriate medication?
     
  4. TCManchester

    TCManchester Registered User

    Aug 24, 2016
    3
    This i
     
  5. TCManchester

    TCManchester Registered User

    Aug 24, 2016
    3
    Well have now been threatened with 'serving notice', this is just a nightmare, all of the MH Assessments have been done and Dad needs nursing or EMI, I have working like a dog to find a new place for him, and have finally got a ass being done next week by the new home, the new problem is been SServices dragging their feet and not responding to any phone calls …. fingers crossed this all goes ahead next week and we get dad moved, then I can lodge the complaints I have against his current home, their treatment of dad has been rather shocking to say the least, and I'm pretty sure its not myself who finds themselves in this position. Its so stressful and the help just isn't there as it should be ….
     
  6. Kay111

    Kay111 Registered User

    Sep 19, 2019
    113
    Hi @TCManchester - we're also right in the middle of a situation where a CH are not very understanding about my dad's challenging behaviour, even though they advertised themselves as EMI. He is only in for a few weeks' respite but tbh it hasn't been very restful for anyone. I have no advice, I'm afraid, just lots of sympathy.
     
  7. PlanetERF

    PlanetERF New member

    Nov 14, 2019
    2
    I would say your dad is not in the right place at all if they can't cope with him or have an understanding of his needs. I would guess there has been some kind of disruption along the way that has prompted the families of other residents to put pressure on them to move him out. I say this because I used to work on a careline service & we saw this quite a lot. However, you would hope that people in that line of work would show some compassion. Let's hope you get dad moved sooner rather than later & the new place is more understanding.
     

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